Talk:Hilary Smart/GA1
Latest comment: 9 years ago by TLSuda in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: TLSuda (talk · contribs) 02:50, 22 July 2014 (UTC)
Greetings! I'm taking this GA review and I see you've been waiting for a few months. I will do my first read-through and my initial review should be posted in the morning. Cheers, TLSuda (talk) 02:50, 22 July 2014 (UTC)
Initial review edit
- The second time that Paul Smart and Libbey-Owens Ford are each mentioned does not need to be wikilinked (per WP:OVERLINK)
- Do we know or can we find Smart's mother's name?
- In the lead you say he became VP of Libbey-Owens-Ford but later you say Libbey-Owens Ford Sales Co. Which is it? And we don't need multiple links.
- It seems like Paul Smart is extremely notable. I would include information about him in the sentence that states he is Hilary's father. Maybe something like "His father was Paul Smart, a famous sailor..." or something.
- Do we have any more information about his sailing in college? Its only mentioned that he won a championship.
- There should be more information about how he became a competitor in the Olympics. We go from him attending University to being a competitor but nothing in between.
- Why were the Smarts disqualified from the sixth race?
- He qualified for the World Championships, but did he participate? If so what were his results?
- Was there nothing else of note in his life? If not that's okay.
This concludes my initial review. I look forward to seeing your response. Cheers, TLSuda (talk) 14:39, 22 July 2014 (UTC)
@Wirenote: Have you had a chance to look at the review and make changes? It has been over a week of no response. Cheers, TLSuda (talk) 01:06, 3 August 2014 (UTC)