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Talk:HarbourFront MRT station/GA1

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Latest comment: 2 years ago by Epicgenius in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 2 years ago32 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 15:00, 11 April 2022 (UTC)Reply


Hello @ZKang123, I hope to look at this soon. Epicgenius (talk) 15:00, 11 April 2022 (UTC)Reply

GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

  ·   ·   ·  

Prose, POV, and coverage

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Lead:
  • HarbourFront MRT station is an underground Mass Rapid Transit (MRT) interchange station. - The country should be mentioned here. If applicable, so should the relevant part of Singapore.
  • Surrounding retail and commercial developments include VivoCity and HarbourFront Centre, alongside HarbourFront Bus Interchange and the Singapore Cruise Centre. - If "alongside" is meant in the physical sense, then this is a run-on sentence and should be rephrased. For instance, "Surrounding retail and commercial developments include VivoCity and HarbourFront Centre, and the station is alongside HarbourFront Bus Interchange and the Singapore Cruise Centre." If "alongside" is meant only in a matter of speaking, then you should use "as well as" instead.
  • First announced as World Trade Centre MRT station in March 1996, the NEL station construction - This has a dangling modifier. Ideally, this can be solved by splitting into 2 sentences. "The NEL station was first announced as World Trade Centre MRT station in March 1996. Its construction..."
  • Also, is it possible to add a little context about the planning into the lead? E.g. "The NEL station was first announced as World Trade Centre MRT station in March 1996 as one of the line's 16 stations."
  • Reflecting the station's location by the sea - Any sea in particular?
  • the station concourse have an elliptical motif resembling a ship hull - The station concourse has the motif, unless there are multiple concourses with such a motif.
More later. – Epicgenius (talk) 15:19, 11 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
Dealt with above points. ZKang123 (talk) 01:06, 12 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
History - North East line:
  • In preliminary studies for the North East line (NEL) in 1986, it was planned for the line to terminate at Outram Park station, rather than HarbourFront. - I assume these were the plans made in 1984 for a possible north-east line serving from Outram Park to Punggol via Dhoby Ghaut. Did Mass Rapid Transit Corporation approve these plans in 1987? (I got that from the Punggol MRT/LRT station page.)
  • In a later study in 1995, the plans for the NEL were extended to serve World Trade Centre - I think "the plans for the NEL" can be replaced with "the planned NEL", as it's the line that was extended and not the blueprints themselves. Also, it may help to mention here that HarbourFront was supposed to be called World Trade Centre.
  • which was known for the harbour and associated industries. - Which harbour is that, for those who aren't familiar with Singapore?
  • To minimise any impact - This can be condensed to just "To minimise impact".
  • Also, you can link "piles" to Deep foundation.
  • As the station was constructed near the seashore, to prevent any water seepage into the site, cement was injected into the soil surrounding the site via jet grouting. - I would reword this to active voice as it is very clunky right now. This may require some rewording. Also, "prevent any" can just be "prevent". E.g. "In order to prevent water seepage into the site, the contractor injected cement into the soil surrounding the site via jet grouting, as the station was constructed near the seashore".
  • but that was financially unfeasible. - Is there any info on how much this would have cost?
  • two exhibition halls of the World Trade Centre - This should probably be "two of the World Trade Centre's exhibition halls".
  • the road and rail project teams of LTA - Like the above, this should be "LTA's road and rail project teams".
  • To maintain the road capacity, the traffic was diverted to temporary steel decking that ran over the construction site. - Because the upkeep of normal traffic flow is already mentioned in the previous sentence, I think "To maintain the road capacity" can just be deleted.
  • or the 2.16 kilometres (1.34 mi) - This should be singular. You can add |adj=on to the {{convert}} template.
  • the extension of the NEL overrun tunnel extended - This is a bit redundant and normally I would just delete one of the uses of "extend". However, as I understand it the extension was just announced at the time, not completed. I would therefore say "In October 2012, the LTA announced that the NEL overrun tunnel would be extended".
  • Also, is it just "LTA" or "the LTA"?
  • I assume SBS received the contract to operate the NEL when it opened? Ditto for SMRT/CCL.
History - Circle line:
More later. – Epicgenius (talk) 00:16, 13 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
Station details:
  • HarbourFront station is the termini of the NEL and CCL - Surprisingly, there is a tense mismatch here; "termini" refers to "station", not to the lines. A better way to say this would be "HarbourFront station is the terminus of both the NEL and CCL".
  • On the NEL, the adjacent station is Outram Park station. On the CCL, the adjacent station is Telok Blangah station - These sentences seem a bit repetitive, though I do concede that a similar sentence structure is used for other MRT station articles. I'd ordinarily suggest something like "The next stop on the NEL is Outram Park station, while the next stop on the CCL is Telok Blangah station". However, since CCL6 is being constructed in the counterclockwise direction, maybe it would be better to instead say something like "...the next stop on the CCL in the clockwise direction is Telok Blangah station". Let me know what you think
  • Also, am I understanding correctly that this is the counterclockwise terminal of the CCL? The clockwise termini, in that case, being Dhoby Ghaut or Marina Bay.
  • With the completion of CCL6, the subsequent station on the CCL eastwards will be Keppel. - Instead of "eastwards" I'd use a direction such as "counterclockwise", as CCL6 will complete the loop.
  • Should the five entrances be mentioned before the concourse is? On further investigation, it seems like the sentence about the five exits may fit well with the second paragraph. E.g. "The station is underneath Telok Blangah Road and has five entrances. HarbourFront station serves various commercial and retail developments..."
  • closest MRT station to the tourist island of Sentosa. - Do any reliable sources mention approximately how far Sentosa is?
  • alongside the cultural sites - I'd say "along with the cultural sites", even if "alongside" is used in a physical sense.
  • dedicated tactile routes that connect the station entrances to the platforms or between the lines - Instead of "between the lines", I would say "or between either line's platforms".
More later. Sorry for the delay. – Epicgenius (talk) 16:18, 23 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
This has totally slipped my mind again; sorry about that. I promise to finish up the review tomorrow. – Epicgenius (talk) 02:10, 28 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
Public artworks:
  • Enigmatic Appearances by Ian Woo is a series of line-drawings - What are line drawings? Like line art?
  • With its "dream-like" quality - as described by whom?
  • as the beginning or the end - Is it specifically representing either the beginning or the end, or is it both? If it's both then you can just say "terminus".
  • what Woo captured in his visit to the HarbourFront area - I suppose this means a site visit prior to the station's construction.
  • Alongside taking photos of the area, he also wrote about his experiences during his trip. - "Alongside" is redundant to "also" (and "alongside" is not generally used at the beginning of sentences like this). I'd say "In addition to taking photos of the area, he wrote about his experiences during his trip."
  • the LTA intended for the integration of art with the station's design - This can be "the LTA intended to integrate art with the station's design".
  • Usually working independently, Woo learnt to articulate his thoughts and intentions with the architectural team, - At first, I did not understand this, but I realised it means that Woo was used to working independently. So I would say that instead. "Although Woo was used to working independently, he learnt to articulate his thoughts and intentions with the architectural team..."
  • The collaboration allowed each other to have deeper insights into each other works - "Each other" is repeated here, and the second usage is grammatically incorrect in that it should be possessive. I'd say "The collaboration allowed Woo and Sheares to have deeper insights into each other's works" (though I don't know if it's Woo and Sheares, Woo and the architectural team).
  • After approval was given by the architects and the Art Review Panel for his line drawings - I suggest rewriting this in active voice, e.g. "After the architects and the Art Review Panel approved his line drawings..."
  • Travelling over to oversee the production process - Travelling to the factory, I presume?
  • waveforms in 3D - I suggest "3D waveforms" or even "three-dimensional waveforms".
  • The work is intended to reflect the rhythm and flow of human activities,[45] which linked the work to the station's location, human values and the MRT system, - The grammar here is structured such that it actually reads "The work... linked the work". It may be hard to rephrase this. One suggestion would be "The work is intended to reflect the rhythm and flow of human activities;[45] these characteristics linked the work to the station's location, human values and the MRT system."
  • and hoped to create the waveforms based on the station's environment. - "Hoped" may not be the right word. Maybe "decided" or "intended"
  • A weekday and weekend were randomly selected, and two assistants recorded the train frequency and passenger traffic on these days - I would condense this to "Two assistants recorded the train frequency and passenger traffic on a randomly selected weekday and weekend."
  • the CCL was not yet operational when creating the work - The phrase "when creating the work" is implied from the rest of the sentence, so it may be redundant. If it's really necessary, this should instead be "the CCL was not yet operational when the work was completed". Otherwise, it's a dangling modifier.
  • dependent on the passenger traffic and train frequency - "Dependent on" is technically correct but sounds weird; "based on" may be more proper.
  • The sculptures are in red that reflects the human rhythm. This also complements the CCL station theme that contrasts against the NEL blue theme. - In this case, these two sentences can probably be combined; e.g. "The sculptures are in red, which not only reflects the human rhythm but also complements the CCL station's theme, contrasting with the NEL's blue theme."
  • Each fin adopts one of the six red "tones", given via serialism when Ong grouped the fins into sets of six - I think you should mention the grouping of six first, followed by the fact that each fin is a different tone. E.g. "Ong grouped the fins into sets of six and used serialism to give each fin a different red "tone"."
  • Are only the edges of the fins transparent?
  • An idea to create an illusion of wave moment had to be dropped - The use of "had to be dropped" here sounds quite casual. I suggest "was discarded".
That's all the prose comments I have. – Epicgenius (talk) 15:36, 28 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
All comments above addressed. Not sure if the sculpture is only transpaent at the edges; the sorce said they are glass fins so maybe? ZKang123 (talk) 07:49, 30 April 2022 (UTC)Reply
It doesn't look like the source elaborates. It's a minor issue anyway, so I will let it be. Epicgenius (talk) 21:32, 2 May 2022 (UTC)Reply

References

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  • All seem fine. I spot-checked a small sample of the references and these all seem to match the text they are citing. I have also spot-checked the offline sources and they appear to support the text they are citing. Epicgenius (talk) 21:32, 2 May 2022 (UTC)Reply
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