Talk:HMS Latona (1781)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 15:43, 4 November 2018 (UTC)

I'll start this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:43, 4 November 2018 (UTC)

• No DABs
• Images properly licensed.
• bay of Algeciras Try linking to Algeciras Bay

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:44, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• recommissioned for The Channel the Channel Fleet, I believe?

  As it then goes on to say, "...where, on 18 November 1793, she spotted, chased and engaged a squadron...", I'm not sure that changing to Channel Fleet would make sense. Unless you have a suggestion for rewriting that sentence?--Ykraps (talk) 08:44, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

  • She was definitely assigned to the Channel Fleet so: "for an assignment with the Channel Fleet" or somesuch--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

    Okay. I have added and linked Channel Fleet, and removed 'where'.--Ykraps (talk) 11:13, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• in an Anglo-Russian invasion of Holland There's been more than one?

  Changed to the --Ykraps (talk) 08:44, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• Hostilities resumed in May 1803 but Latona Needs a comma after the date

  Done - although I think that's an optional comma in British English.--Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

  • I was taught that "but" should have a comma before it unless it's not contrasting or contradicting the previous clause. Is it different in BritEng?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

    Unless there's some ambiguity, a comma is not generally required there as the clauses are short.--Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• 14-gun, HMS Superieure

  Sorry, not sure what you're asking. Isn't that what I've written?

  • Should have made myself clearer. Unnecessary comma--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• Link hulked, laid down, launched, beam, main battery, secondary armament, privateer, laid up and the symbols for the pre-decimal money

  Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• receiving ship at Leith, then in December, as the flagship of Admiral Sir William Johnstone Hope Confused. Did she remain a receiving ship when she was the flagship?

  Clarified. --Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• Add date of commissioning to the main body. Be sure to link it.

  Done. --Ykraps (talk) 17:24, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• Link and capitalise captain. Link all ranks on first appearance.

  Done.--Ykraps (talk) 19:56, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• Don't use ranks after the first mention

  Done.--Ykraps (talk) 19:56, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

• Charles Sandys became Latona's captain in May 1784 then in March 1786, command passed Awkward

  Changed to, "Command passed successively to Charles Sandys in May 1784 then Lieutenant Velters Cornewall Berkeley in March 1786".--Ykraps (talk) 20:09, 13 November 2018 (UTC)

  • Looks good.

• Watch out for overlinking

  I've removed all the repeated links I can find, except those linked in the lead which I believe is acceptable. I've also left links where I've used a slightly different term for the same thing. For example: laid up and laid up in ordinary, and English Channel and the Channel. However, I can remove these too if you like.

  • Please do, I think that readers can figure out the relationship on their own.

    Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• was lured away on 20 October How? And how does that fit with the following sentence?

  They were lured away by the British ships mentioned in the following sentence. I think those two sentences were supposed to be one; joined with a semi-colon. I've rewritten to make clearer.--Ykraps (talk) 07:45, 14 November 2018 (UTC)

  • Works for me.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• Down to French Revolutionary War, more later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:03, 13 November 2018 (UTC)
• Link ships-of-the-line, Roadstead of Brest, Bremen, Faro, Liverpool, schooner, Bordeaux, Passayes, Bayonne, grounded to Ship grounding, channel

  Done - Except Passaye which I have removed because it has no article, and I'm struggling to find it on a map. --Ykraps (talk) 10:22, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

  • Fair enough.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• in Cancale bay Capitalize bay

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• craft, out of Brest unnecessary comma Same with driven off, when two French and 14-gun privateer, Virginie

  Removed --Ykraps (talk) 10:22, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• their topmasts broken Why?

  In an effort to catch up, they had too much sail for the weather conditions. I have clarified this.--Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• Always tell the reader what type of ship it is before naming it for the first time. You and I know that Blonde is a privateer, but the ordinary reader won't. And we don't want to force him to click on the link to find out.

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 13:41, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• On 27 November, the ships of a squadron under the command of Captain Thomas Pasley of HMS Bellerophon captured Blonde off Ushant.[14] At the time of her capture Blonde was armed with 28 guns and had a crew of 210 men under the command of Citizen Gueria.[15] A subsequent prize money notice listed the vessels that shared in the proceeds as Bellerophon, Vanguard, Phoenix, Latona, and Phaeton. Too much detail. It can be easily compressed into a single sentence: "Latona helped to capture the privateer Blonde on..." and added to the previous paragraph.

  Done - I've put the other detail in a footnote.--Ykraps (talk) 08:52, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• former Dutch convoy, in the hands of French ?

  A Dutch convoy which had been captured by the French. It was previously Dutch, but at that time, it was French. I have tried to clarify. See what you think.--Ykraps (talk) 13:34, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

  • That works.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• on the 28 May Extra word?

  Removed --Ykraps (talk) 11:04, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

• John Bligh was assigned command assumed command

  Assumed always makes me think that command was taken rather than given, but okay. --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

  • Perhaps it's related to a new captain reading himself in during the change of command ceremony, where he "assumes" the authority granted him by the Admiralty? Everything looks good, so promoting now.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 16:56, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

    I agree it's an acceptable usage, just not the one I immediately think of. Thanks very much for the review.--Ykraps (talk) 07:53, 21 November 2018 (UTC)

• captured a large number of small Dutch many small...

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• link

  Is this asking anything? --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• Move the link for Lisbon to first use.

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 11:22, 18 November 2018 (UTC)

  • There's one further up.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

    Got it --Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• Down to Napoleonic Wars, more later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 02:02, 18 November 2018 (UTC)
• and was joined the following day were joined

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• Fisgard. The latter grounding after a shift of wind. Replace the first period with a comma

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• Link flag of truce, Patriotic Fund, store-ship, forecastle, quarterdeck, troopship

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:29, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• ships and after half an hour, had comma after and

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:29, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• Capitalize fund

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:07, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• When did Wood assume command?

  Sometime in April 1806, according to Winfield. I think there was a source that put it earlier, which is why it's written in that peculiar way, but I can't find it at the moment.--Ykraps (talk) 07:52, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

• frigate, Junon no comma

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 08:21, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• two British craft, Craft makes me think of small boats, try another synonym

  Vessels? --Ykraps (talk) 08:21, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• The other two French 74s had been chased by Recruit and Neptune, when the squadron dispersed on 15 April, but managed to escape to Cherbourg Awkward, reword

  I've flipped this sentence. See if you think it's any better. Otherwise, I can just say, "The other 74s were chased by Recruit and Neptune, but escaped to Cherbourg", or similar, if you think it's obvious which 74s are being discussed. --Ykraps (talk) 09:13, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• Use an endash for number ranges like 80–90.

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 09:34, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• French storeships, Furieuse and Félicité comma after last name of a ship

  Done --Ykraps (talk) 09:34, 20 November 2018 (UTC)

• The two French storeships, Furieuse and Félicité left the Îles des Saintes on 15 April, the day after Troude's line-of-battle ships, they made it to Gaudeloupe unmolested but when they left on 14 June, they were pursued by Latona and the 16-gun sloop, HMS Cherub. Break this up; too much going on--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:21, 19 November 2018 (UTC)

  I think that's a run-on sentence so I've replaced a comma with a full stop. --Ykraps (talk) 08:05, 19 November 2018 (UTC)