Talk:George Charles Moʻoheau Beckley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:13, 27 January 2021 (UTC)

• No DABs, external link OK
• Suggest life's work rather than life's career
• Link steamships, whaling, captain, drydocked, deckhand, first officer, first mate, master, pilot, San Francisco, California, masonic temple
• If the orders listed in the lede are notable, red link them
• Is there a link to the Hawaiian royal family?
• with half-brother Hoapili "her"
• Explain or link the ranks of the Hawaiian nobility of this time
• The couple were known for being gracious host and hostess during the years of the monarchy. Fluff
• Give more background on William Hauluheimalama and his mother's relationship with Beckley
• Pirate Shenandoah? Do you mean the Confederate raider CSS Shenandoah?
• from all captured the
• "Boat steerer" howzabout "helmsman" with a link?
• and was at some point drydocked All ships get drydocked multiple times over their lives. Why is this important here?
• Too many dates in close proximity in the third para of the career section. Switch things up by using expressions like, "the following year", "two years later", etc.
• What are 'unihipili bones?
• You are incosistent in how you capitalize titles and subtitles in your refs section. Put them in title case to match the titles in your bibliography.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:17, 3 February 2021 (UTC)
  • Failed as non-responsive.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:43, 25 February 2021 (UTC)