Talk:Fusajiro Yamauchi/GA1
GA Review
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Nominator: DanganMachin (talk · contribs) 09:51, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
Nominator: Maxime12346 (talk · contribs) 09:51, 7 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: NatwonTSG2 (talk · contribs) 19:52, 6 June 2024 (UTC)
Hello @DanganMachin I decided to review this article because it looks pretty simple and easy so. This article seems a handful of fixes to be addressed.
Review
editLead
- For the infobox, not much other than the fact that you're unable find sources for his unnamed daughter and the cause of his death.
I think this source might help a bit. - In the first sentence, you could change who founded Yamauchi Nintendo, the company now known as Nintendo into who founded Yamauchi Nintendo, later known as Nintendo.
Early life
- Shouldn't this section's title be renamed into Early life.
- P2: Could this section be one entire paragraph and
you could removed the additional reference there.
Location | Problem |
---|---|
P3 S4 | A typo for Fusajiro |
P5 S2 | At the end of the sentence, you seem to put two periods between a quote mark so remove the second one. |
P5 S3 | the date to the year. Also removed such of between website and Watada. |
P5 S5 | You forget to put a period at the end of the sentence. |
P6 S1 | Koppaï Zei and Karuta Zei shouldn't be quoted so remove the quote marks |
P6 S2 | Peroid at the end of the sentence. |
P7 S1 | removed even because it kinda made the sentence like a direct quote. |
P8 S1 | unless you're making a direct quote, removed yet again. |
Personal details
- S1: With no son into Without a son
- S4: change claim into claimed
Fixs.
editThank you for reviewing my article !
Here are the fixs I made :
Lead
- According to Wikipedia:Reliable sources/Perennial sources NNDB is a deprecated source and shouldn't be used. So I consider it done.
- Sentence Done.
Early Life
- Before Nintendo -> Early Life Done.
- One paragraph + reference. I have fused the first two paragraphs but I don't see what reference you are talking about. Done.
Yamauchi Fusajirô Shôten or Yamauchi Nintendo
- Typo fixed. Done.
- Point added. Done.
- removed even Done.
- removed yet again Done.
Personal details
- S1 Done.
- S4 Done.
DanganMachin (talk) 17:09, 8 June 2024 (UTC)
@NatwonTSG2 I have finished to adress the fixs you said the article needed. (: Could you please put the follow-up review in the form of a table if possible ? Thank you for your time. DanganMachin (talk) 17:24, 8 June 2024 (UTC)
- @DanganMachin after learning some of my fixes for my other article which I'm working on, I decided to take one look of this article and realized that many fixes still need to be address so I would recommend to request this article at the Guild of Copy Editors. NatwonTSG2 (talk) 18:00, 18 June 2024 (UTC)