Talk:Eye Spy (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)/GA1
Latest comment: 7 years ago by DAP388 in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: DAP388 (talk · contribs) 22:29, 28 August 2016 (UTC)
Will be reviewing this within the next day or two. DAP 💅 22:29, 28 August 2016 (UTC)
Looks in good shape apart from a few minor quips.
- Plot: "Using social media, the team discovers that Akela Amador is behind the attack and theft (as well as several others), and Coulson reveals that she is a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent that he trained, and believed dead." Clunky and contorted wording. Rephrase. Perhaps "Using social media, the team identifies Akela Amador, a former S.H.I.E.L.D agent Coulson trained and presumes dead, as the perpetrator of the attack and theft (among other crimes)" or something to that effect.
- Development and casting: "Theatrical actress Pascale Armand got the role of Akela Amador after auditioning", this is a bit vague to me considering most actors go through this process anyway. Mentioning the fact that this came about a week after the auditioning deadline better illustrates how Armand booked the role. So maybe "Theatrical actress Pascale Armand booked the role of Akela Amador a week after the show's auditioning deadline" or something to that effect.
- Music: "The themes is initially used with low strings or brass to sound ominous", typo?
- Image licensing is fine.
- @Adamstom.97: that's it! Putting this on hold for the time being. DAP 💅 15:00, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks DAP, I believe I have addressed your concerns. - adamstom97 (talk) 21:56, 31 August 2016 (UTC)