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Talk:Eldridge Street Synagogue/GA1

< Talk:Eldridge Street Synagogue
Latest comment: 18 days ago by ZKang123 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 18 days ago65 comments2 people in discussion
Passed. ZKang123 (talk) 14:02, 10 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Epicgenius (talk · contribs) 01:38, 12 May 2024 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: ZKang123 (talk · contribs) 04:48, 6 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

I will also do a review of this soon.--ZKang123 (talk) 04:48, 6 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

The article is rather extensive so the review will be slow as I look over. I'm curious to note that for this article, you have the history part before the architecture. Not an issue, just noting.--ZKang123 (talk) 08:59, 6 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Copy changes

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Lead

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  • Is it conventional to just write "U.S." in the lead without first mentioning what U.S. stands for (it's obvious, but curious whether actually there's a need to spell out).
    • I think either is fine, though I have removed this per my comment immediately below. Epicgenius (talk) 14:18, 6 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • In fact, I wonder if it's necessary to put "New York, U.S.", given in some of your other building articles, that's not written in.
    • I have removed it. This was added by someone else, but it seems slightly unnecessary, I think. Not only is NYC fairly well known, but the lead itself mentions that Eldridge Street was one of the first Eastern European synagogue buildings in the US, so that part is definitely redundant. Epicgenius (talk) 14:18, 6 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • Beth Hamedrash, with congregants – I don't think the comma is necessary
  • dwindled significantly starting in the 1920s – can remove "starting"
  • with Gothic Revival and Romanesque Revival elements spread throughout. – spread throughout what?
  • The lower level was originally a study hall and has been converted to galleries. – suggest reword to originally a study hall which has been..

Early history

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  • paid $19,000 – please insert current inflated value. Similar for other currencies.
  • served two years – served for two years
  • creating shadows and pollution – the wording of this clause is a bit odd. I would say causing pollution and something else about "shadows" (not sure what shadows exactly mean in this context. Like, blocking sunlight?)
    • Yep. I've changed this to "causing pollution and casting shadows". Epicgenius (talk) 21:54, 7 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • (although it would not receive any compensation until 1899) – I don't think you need the brackets here.
  • 12 through 16 Eldridge Street – I wonder if an en-dash (12–16) would suffice
  • Kahal Adath Jeshurun first bought numbers 14 and 16 from Holkhe Yosher, paying a total of $23,000. They then bought the lot at 12 Eldridge Street at a cost of $12,850. – I suggest combining these sentences to: Kahal Adath Jeshurun first bought numbers 14 and 16 from Holkhe Yosher for $23,000 before purchasing the lot at 12 Eldrige Street for $12,850. As said previously, also add inflated values
    • I've combined these sentences and will add inflation values later. Epicgenius (talk) 21:54, 7 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • decided to hire – I would just say "hired", unless there are reasons for his decision to employ the two brothers
  • The Herter brothers drew up plans for a synagogue at 12–16 Eldridge Street, between Canal and Division streets, in June 1886. – would move "In June 1886" at the front of the sentence. Actually would drop the year given the beginning of the paragraph stated the year and since no other year is mentioned, I think omitting would be fine.
  • as being frequently overcrowded – something about this phrase is a bit awkward
  • not directly associated with or connected – "associated with" and "connected" to me are similar in meaning; either remove or well, perhaps say "structurally connected" if you want to keep both, if I get the meaning of the latter.

Congregational use

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  • take shelter there – "there" is unnecessary
  • was organized at the synagogue – do you mean "was established"?
  • every two years – biannually
  • Jews in New York City, including three of the congregation's first four presidents,[71] were increasingly living elsewhere in the city during the 1900s and 1910s, as public transit made these neighborhoods easier to access. – a rather oddly worded sentence. Does this mean like more of the congregants came from more outer parts of the city?
    • Yes, that is what I mean. Epicgenius (talk) 21:54, 7 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
      • I would suggest rewording this sentence to be clearer if you haven't done so.--ZKang123 (talk) 10:11, 9 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • a second branch uptown, to accommodate members who could not travel downtown on Shabbat (the Jewish Sabbath), in 1903 and 1907. – remove commas.
  • Similarly for ...in 1913, when a new set of rules was adopted
  • for about a year after it opened. – maybe for its first year of operations? Or ...since its opening
    • I meant "for about a year about the synagogue building opened". The congregation was established several decades earlier, and it didn't have a rabbi, either. Epicgenius (talk) 21:54, 7 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • Salary values to add inflated values
  • During Minkowsky's tenure at Kahal Adath Jeshurun, both religious and secular journalists lauded his work. – Both religious and secular journalists lauded Minkowsky's work during his tenure at Kahal Adath Jeshurun
  • over a bonus that the congregation did not have enough money to pay him – over a bonus which the congregate could not afford.
  • a far smaller rate – a much lower rate
  • which, among other activities, helped arrange events and prepare meals – which helped arrange events and prepare meals among other activities
  • police were stationed in the street to control the crowds. – in the street for crowd control
  • buy the rights to a seat permanently – buy permanent rights to a seat
  • Pews were cheaper the further back they were – Pews further back were cheaper
  • many of the congregants – remove "of the"
  • who were determined to not have – who were determined not to have...
  • This still failed – would add a contrasting connector "However" at the beginning of this sentence
  • as wealthy members – as the wealthy members
  • in the hope of limiting the number of congregants who left. – , hoping to reduce the number of congregants leaving
  • The congregation was regularly sending letters to former members, asking them to donate. – ...was regularly sending letters to former members for donations.
  • as having shrunk – to have shrunk
  • stopped coming for even – ...even for
  • damaged by the rain, and there were also holes in the balcony. – damaged by the rain with holes in the balcony

More to come.--ZKang123 (talk) 08:59, 6 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Restoration and museum use

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Continued.

  • had established the Synagogue Rescue Project – curious when was this established?
    • Unfortunately I don't know for sure, other than that it was established in the 1970s. Epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 8 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • Also I don't think you need to say "2013 book" given the citation at the end references that. It made me think the group was established in 2013.
  • and develop programming for it – what do you mean by "programming"?
    • Basically, tours, activities, educational programs, and exhibits. Epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 8 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • The architects drew up brand-new plans for parts of the project – can specify what "brand-new plans"?
    • I removed the sentence, as this wasn't actually mentioned in the source. Epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 8 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • the skeleton was that of a young man who had died decades beforehand – the skeleton was a young man who had died decades before
  • Even while it was raising money, the Eldridge Street Project... – ((tq|Even when raising money, the Eldridge Street Project}}
  • According to Amy Milford of the Eldridge Street Project, the organization received little other pushback. – I'm not sure of the relevance of this sentence. Unless you elaborate what sort of pushback. But I think this sentence is a bit redundant.
    • I've removed it. Basically, the NYCLU was the only organization that complained about the grant. Epicgenius (talk) 17:46, 8 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
  • were still being hosted – ...still being held...
  • Due to municipal budget cuts, the city reneged on a promised grant of $1 million – this is different from the $1 million provided in 2000 right?
  • stars of David – I think it should be Stars of David... Also wikilink Star of David. Also note for other case and mentions especially in the design section.
  • Reflecting the decreased demand for religious services at the synagogue, the building was surrounded by Chinese businesses. – The surrounding Chinese businesses reflect the decreased demand for religious services at the synagogue
  • and reopened in June 2021 – before reopening in June 2021

Building

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  • similarly-named Herter Brothers firm (composed of Christian and Gustave Herter), which designed mansions. – not sure if which designed mansions is necessary.
  • On the northern and southern walls, there are... – On the northern and southern walls are...
  • is not known – is unknown
  • was installed in 2010 and was designed – delete second instance of "was"
  • made of yellow glass, surrounded by panes of blue glass. – made of yellow glass surrounded by panes of blue.
  • glued to a sheet of clear glass, using silicone. – remove comma
  • is made of wood and is carved – is made of carved wood or carved out of wood, whichever the meaning
  • which decorated to give the appearance of marble. – which were decorated...

Operation

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  • After the renovation was completed, the museum has hosted concerts... The Eldridge Street Project has hosted events to attract local residents. – Can these two sentences be combined? Or the organisation and the museum separate?
  • Jaffe had his bar mitzvah at the synagogue as well – I think the "as well" is unnecessary. Also felt it could be combined in the previous sentences mentioning him.

Impact

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  • citing the architectural details, such as... – remove the comma.

That's all for copyediting nitpicks. Would do some source spotchecking and image review.--ZKang123 (talk) 06:47, 7 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Sourcing and spot checks

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  • Portions cited by "Eldridge Street Synagogue (PDF) (Report). New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission. July 8, 1980." checks out
  • Similarly for "Dallas, Gus (September 23, 1984). "'Friends' rally to give face-lift to synagogue". Daily News. pp. 320, 322. Archived from the original on May 11, 2024. Retrieved May 11, 2024."
  • I shall assume good faith for the offline sources. Most of the book sources cited are from various journals or credible researchers with knowledge in the field of architecture.
  • Refs 134, 204, 216, 221, 222, 306 check out.
  • Earwig brings up similarities with the NHL designation document, but generally are due to names like "Eldridge Street Synagogue", "Kahal Adath Jeshurun with Anshe Lubz" and "the Lower East Side".
    • Not sure if there are ways to rephrase like "Jews from across Eastern Europe" and "the first Eastern European".
    • "on either side of" could be reworded as "on both sides of"
  • Compared with the LPC document , earwig highlighted "who came to New York City in the late 19th and early 20th centuries" (recommend rewording to "who arrived to New York City from the late 1800s to the early 1900s").
    • "the panes in the rose window contains thin joints that are not visible from afar" – this should be reworded.
    • "The eastern end of the main level" – "The main level eastern end"
    • "At the time of the synagogue's construction" – "When the synagogue was constructed.
    • Others are just common phrases but it's perhaps advised to look over any similar phrases used that can be reworded.

Images

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All photos are under CC-BY or BY-SA licensed.

Putting article on hold until the above copyvio concerns are addressed.--ZKang123 (talk) 10:11, 9 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review @ZKang123. I've now done everything except for the inflation figures, which I'll add tomorrow. – Epicgenius (talk) 15:25, 9 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
@ZKang123, thanks again. I've now added inflation figures for everything up to the 1980s. – Epicgenius (talk) 14:01, 10 June 2024 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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