Talk:Eight precepts/GA2

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Vami IV (talk · contribs) 12:21, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

Opening statement

In reviews I conduct, I may make small copyedits. These will only be limited to spelling and punctuation (removal of double spaces and such). I will only make substantive edits that change the flow and structure of the prose if I previously suggested and it is necessary. For replying to Reviewer comment, please use  Done,  Fixed,  Added,  Not done,  Doing..., or  Removed, followed by any comment you'd like to make. I will be crossing out my comments as they are redressed, and only mine. A detailed, section-by-section review will follow. —♠Vami_IV†♠ 12:21, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

Disclosure: I consider myself at least a wiki-acquaintance of the nominee, Farang Rak Tham, and I have previously reviewed several of their articles before. –♠Vami_IV†♠ 12:21, 25 October 2019 (UTC)

Thank you for all your efforts, Vami IV. You are an invaluable asset to our Wikipedia!--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Lead

• That Citation Needed tag should obviously be there.

I have put a citation there now. That citation is also in the body of the text, though.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Description

• [...] wrong speech [...] Having reviewed the five precepts article, I understand the meaning here, but don't think it adequately conveyed. "Damaging" would be better than "wrong" in this instance.

 Done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Origins

• [...], as well as the [...] Replace with "and"

 Done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

• [...] brahminism did not migrate to the early Buddhist region till much later. This should be "Brahaminism".

 Done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

"Till much later" is confusing without any dates being used before. It's like saying "and then he traveled from nowhere to somewhere".

 Fixed.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

Practice

• Fluids are allowed. Considering that this forms a (short) exception to the previous sentence and uses the same citations, I advise combination of the two.

 Fixed.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

History

• In the 1980s and 1990s, Thailand saw the rise to popularity of the politician Chamlong Srimuang. As a member of the Buddhist Santi Asoke movement, Srimuang observed the eight precepts continuously, even during his life as a politician. Combine and condense.

 Done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

• Could this section be combined with or follow "Origins"? In case of the former, I would have the section be called "History" with the contemporary information in a subsection named "Contemporary history".

 Done.--Farang Rak Tham (Talk) 21:45, 26 October 2019 (UTC)

GA progress

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.