Talk:Edward A. Hanna/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 05:04, 9 June 2023 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

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Whoa! This guy sounds incredibly fascinating.

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):

   See below.

   b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   Might want to see a bit more weight on the 90s mayoral terms.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a. (reference section):

   b. (citations to reliable sources):

   c. (OR):

   d. (copyvio and plagiarism):

   Most Earwig finds are organization names or banal phrases.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a. (major aspects):

   What happened to the 80s?

   b. (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

   Both images are CC-licensed. The possibly copyrighted sculptural art is de minimis in the mini-park image.

   b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/fail:

   Sourcing seems fine. Lots of copy and comma changes. Want to ask... Where did the 1980s go? There's very little about him between his two mayoral terms, and a bit more content in the 1990s section feels like it'd be warranted (unless it really did get that much less coverage).

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

Copy changes

Lead

• Often described as a populist, Hanna was widely regarded as eccentric and abrasive, and constantly clashed with the Utica business and political establishment, the rest of city government, and other local groups. Remove comma after "abrasive"; you don't need it. User:Sammi Brie/Commas in sentences (herein CinS)

Early life

• Hanna continued to escalate, eventually calling for Robert Moses to be dismissed as chairman of the State Council of Parks, and for the Council to be replaced with an upstate-focused board. Remove comma after Parks
• The New York Times, not the New York Times, since "The" is also in the masthead itself.
• Re also called for Elefante to resign from politics, and asked Senator Robert F. Kennedy to help reorganize the Democratic party in Oneida County. Remove comma (CinS)

1974–78 mayorship

• In 1973, Hanna ran as an independent in the race for Mayor of Utica, and won a narrow victory against the Republican incumbent Michael Caruso and a Democratic challenger. Remove comma after Utica (CinS) and "the" before "Republican"
• he took on the management of 5 city departments himself Spell out "five": MOS:NUMERAL
• In 1976 he reduced the Department of Public Works from 240 to 70 employees, and introduced legislation to privatize the remaining employees. This was met with complaints from the public about insufficient snow removal and street repair, and legal action from the Teamsters. Remove both commas (or optionally on #2, ", as well as legal action...". A comma after "1976" would probably be good.
• He had a sign hung in City Hall that said "This City Government Belongs to the People," and told staff to answer the phone, "People's Government."
  • Use logical quotes: "People's Government".
  • The first comma is unneeded (CinS).
• The ban was lifted and reinstated at times, and sometimes disregarded by city officials such as the comptroller and clerk who were more independent of Hanna. Change the comma to The ban was lifted and reinstated at times and was sometimes disregarded by city officials such as the comptroller and clerk, who were more independent of Hanna.
• "a pimple on my fanny." Logical quote for a sentence fragment: ...fanny".
• A former editor of the Utica newspapers, Mason C. Taylor, joined Hanna's administration as an advisor, but quit after two months: his letter of resignation criticized Hanna's autocratic and abusive governing style, and expressed fears that city government could collapse badly enough that the state would need to step in. Remove commas after "advisor" and "style" (CinS)
• ...called him "some kind of emperor [...] allowing the peasants to enjoy the largesse of the sovereign." Logical quote for sentence fragment.
• Within a single day he hired one man to manage the Utica Memorial Auditorium, then hired the same man into another role as director of the city bus company. He hired another man, then fired him because he felt his salary was too high, and wrote a check to the city for the overage. Lots of comma issues. Within a single day, he hired one man to manage the Utica Memorial Auditorium, only to hire the same man into another role as director of the city bus company. He hired another man then fired him because he felt his salary was too high, writing a check to the city for the overage.
• A couple days later a State Supreme Court justice ordered that the chief and the suspended officers be reinstated, and ordered Hanna to return any documents he may have obtained from the chief's office
  • "A couple days" is too informal. "Several days" would work. A comma after "later" would be good.
  • The comma after "reinstated" should be removed (CinS).
• The park features a bandstand, where bands, paid by Hanna, played every night of the summer of '75 and '76. Change the end to "summers of 1975 and 1976".
• Comma after "Tower of Hope"
• During the Christmas season Hanna obtained 80 hibachis for roasting chestnuts: the hibachis were paid using federal funds but the chestnuts were purchased by Hanna. Should be During the Christmas season, Hanna obtained 80 hibachis for roasting chestnuts: the hibachis were paid for using federal funds, but the chestnuts were purchased by Hanna.

What did Hanna do, if anything, between his two mayoral terms? Is there any coverage? (this feels like a big gap)

Second mayorship

Is there a reason this section is less dense than the first one despite covering a similar time period?

• Hanna handily won reelection in 1999, but resigned suddenly in July 2000. Remove comma (CinS)
• Hanna ran for mayor once more in 2007, but lost in a three-way race. Remove comma (CinS)

Legacy

• and after a major storm in January 1976 auto accidents rose four times the average Add a comma after 1976
• Mayors of Utica who served after Hanna said his cuts were largely unsustainable, and they were forced to deal with the fallout of his actions, by bearing the blame for increased taxes or city payroll, or repaying funds and making settlements for actions Hanna had taken. Remove the last two commas.
• Set off "Richard Hanna" in commas: "Hanna's nephew, Richard Hanna, served..."

Spot checks

• 12: Checks out, though I think the State Council he was part of was specific to Central New York, which your wording doesn't make very clear. Y
• 24: Comptroller and clerk disobeyed the no comment order to the print media. Y
• 29: Senate candidate announcement: He said “personal and selfish reasons” had impelled him to seek the nomination, adding that he could “do nothing more” for Utica, but “I could do a lot for the country.” Y
• 37: American Libraries article on zeroing out library funding. Y Did you know that you can also cite items like these by using |id= with templates like {{EBSCOhost}}?
• 38: Funding restoration by city council, same publication as 37. Y

I believe I've addressed the comments above. Although no source directly says this, my impression is that he was semi-retired during the '80s and less in the public eye. I will admit to a bit of FUTON bias here: there could be something in the physical archives at Utica Public Library. Anyways, let me know if any other changes are needed. Apocheir (talk) 17:55, 11 June 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.