Talk:Eden Hazard/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 00:38, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

Lead

• "In 2005, he ventured to France." That implies it was a risk; consider "he moved to France"?

Done. JS^{Rant Away} 03:39, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

Personal life

• "He grew up in a football dominant family." 'Football dominant' isn't a term as far as I'm aware, though I understand what you mean.
• "Carine, and father,"... Remove apostrophe after Carine.
• 'most hated rivals'...how about "biggest rivals". 'Hate' is a strong word after all.
• "On 19 December, Belgian and French media announced that she had given birth to a baby boy", 19 December 2054? 2011?

Done with issues related to Personal life section. JS^{Rant Away} 03:39, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

Lille

• Need en dash on three-year.
• "After-wards, he was relegated back to the amateur level...", Afterwards doesn't need a dash. I would suggest you use another synonym: 'Following the match', 'After the match', 'Subsequently' because 'afterwards' in this case can be misconstrued. Also replace 'relegated' with 'demoted'.
• "...one goal helping the reserve team finished in fifth place..."; past principle not needed - ...Should be "finish in fifth place".
• "Hazard finished his amateur career with 11 appearances and one goal helping the reserve..." - put an apostrophe after goal.

Done with issues related to Lille section. JS^{Rant Away} 03:39, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

2008–09 season

• "For the 2008–09 season, Hazard switched to the number 26 shirt"; What was his shirt number before? I would advise you to replace 'switched' with 'given the shirt number 26' as amateur footballers may not have fixed numbers.
• "His positive performances" → "assured performances"
• "game-winning goal"... - how about 'match-winning'?
• "Hazard started eight and contributed to the team finishing in 5th place"...I have no problem with the sentence, just maybe spell out 5th as 'fifth' for consistency perhaps.

Done with issues related to 2008–09 season section. JS^{Rant Away} 03:39, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

2009–10 season

• "Notable clubs included English clubs..." How about starting off the sentence with "These included English clubs Arsenal..."
• "A month later, Hazard was instrumental in Lille's 5–1 thrashing of Czech club Slavia Prague as he was partly responsible for the opening goal after slicing through" - replace 'after' with an em dash.
• "Hazard began the 2009–10 season on a quick note scoring in the Lille's first competitive match of the season"... two things: 1) Replace 'quick' with 'positive' and 2) remove 'the' from Lille; the club's name isn't a definitive article.
• Derby du Nord has already been wiki linked under 'Personal life'.
• "The victory helped the club achieve stability in the league by keeping them in the UEFA Champions League places and, also, ended a disaster of a week which saw Lille suffer elimination from both of France's cup competitions." Doesn't make any grammatical sense. I would suggest breaking the sentence into two if you can.
• "He is the first player, since the award's inception" → "He became the first player since its inception in 1994 to win the award twice."

Done with issues related to 2009–10 season section. JS^{Rant Away} 03:39, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

2010–11 season

• "Following the international break, Hazard re-captured his scoring form"... Recaptured doesn't need a dash.
• "Hazard began the 2011 portion of the season"... Ambiguous. What defines a portion in a league season? More so, a year? Consider "At the turn of the calander year, Hazard began...".
• "...Lille eight points clear as league leader in the table" → "...Lille eight points clear at the top of the league table."

Done with issues related to 2010–11 season section. JS^{Rant Away} 03:39, 18 December 2011 (UTC)

2011–12 season

• "Three days later" → How about "Three days after"
• "Fours days later" → "Four days later"
• "In his second career Champions League appearance"...I'm not sure if it's necessary to mention that. Maybe "Against Turkish outfit Trabzonspor on [insert month and date], Hazard assisted Lille's only goal..."
• "game-winning goal" → how about 'match-winning'?
• "Due to his increase participation with Lille's first team"...'Due to' is used in the previous sentence. Rephrase.
• Could include desire to join Chelsea — Preceding unsigned comment added by 86.147.118.85 (talk) 22:24, 28 May 2012 (UTC)

Done with issues related to 2011–12 season section. — JS^{Rant Away} 02:00, 19 December 2011 (UTC)

Senior

• "Although, Hazard is still eligible to represent Belgium on youth level"...remove comma.

Done — JS^{Rant Away} 02:00, 19 December 2011 (UTC)

Youth

• "Hazard bypassed the Belgian under-18 team and began earning call-ups to the under-19 team in October 2007." Need reference on that.

Couldn't find a source stating he bypassed the under-18 team, so I rephrased the sentence. — JS^{Rant Away} 18:42, 19 December 2011 (UTC)

That'll do for now. — Lemonade51 (talk) 19:14, 19 December 2011 (UTC)

Comments

• If you were considering this for WP:FAC, then I suggest you may need to get this peer reviewed because prose might be the big problem. Having said that and giving it a read through today, I think it's perfectly acceptable for GA status. Broad in its coverage, netural with good sources and nice array of images. Plus there is always room for improvement. Good job. — Lemonade51 (talk) 19:14, 19 December 2011 (UTC)

Thanks. I appreciate your help. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Joao10Siamun (talk • contribs) 19:26, 19 December 2011 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.