Talk:Donghak Peasant Revolution/GA1

GA Review (1)

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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 03:09, 19 May 2013 (UTC)

I'll be glad to take this review. Initial comments to follow in the next 1-3 days. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:09, 19 May 2013 (UTC)

Review

This article appears on first pass to give a good overview of its subject, and it's clear that substantial research has gone into its development. Thanks to everybody involved for their work on it so far.

However, it seems to me that the article will still need substantial work in some areas before being ready for GA status, and for that reason I'm not listing it at this time. The biggest issue I see at a glance is copyediting; the article needs extensive corrections for spelling and grammar. You might consider making a request of the Guild of Copy Editors if you'd like an outside eye for this. I've made a very incomplete list of issues here:

• "At this time, the religion split into two;" -- a semicolon requires a complete sentence on either side except in the rare case that it's part of a list.
• "In December the 18th" -- should be "On December 18" or "In December," but never "In December 18".
• "he wrote a message to the people of Jeongju Fortress;" -- quotations should be preceded by colons, not semicolons
• "He fined affluent peasants through dubious crimes" -- should be "for", unless he's committing the crimes
• ". (only those over fifteen had to be taxed)" -- standalone parenthetical requires capital letter and period (i.e., should be a complete sentence)
• "cooperating eith the " -- should be "with"
• "In October 10" -- should be "on"
• "The rebels also lost;" -- should be a colon rather than a semicolon (this is a repeating issue). Also, note that a colon requires a complete sentence before it (i.e., "the rebels also lost the following"); this is another persistent error in the article.
• "1. many rebel banners" -- is there a reason this list is numbered? I'm not sure an embedded list is needed here at all.
• "the casualties of Yi Pilje's Revolt in 1871 was still fresh" -- should be "were" ("casualties" is plural)
• "thunder stroke" -- should be "thunder struck" in English-- if this error is in the original, consider marking it (sic).
• " who arressted, " -- should be "arrested"
• "an excerpt is shown below;" -- needs capital "An"

Some other issues:

• The article appears to rely heavily on website sources. It's difficult for me to judge the reliability of some of the Korean sites, but are you confident that these have the reputation for editorial oversight and factchecking required by the reliable sources policy? The Korean Wikipedia certainly does not qualify as a reliable source for the enormous dialogue quotation.
• The long dialogue between the judge and prisoner appears to me to be excessive detail (a problem for criterion 3b); can this not be summarized into a few highlights?
• "Role played by Donghak " -- this section has no citations on its controversy, and no citations for its quotations
• The controversies section in general needs clearer citations; if it's controversial, it should be cited.
• The lead should be limited to four paragraphs per WP:LEAD.
• One-sentence paragraphs should be avoided per WP:LAYOUT.
• This isn't a GA criterion, but basic words like chicken, spear, sword, rifle etc. don't need to be linked.
• "Jindo" and "thievery" should be disambiguated.

I hope you won't find this list discouraging. It's clear that progress is being made, and once the above issues are addressed, I hope you'll consider renominating this one. Just let me know if you have any questions, and again, thanks to everybody involved for your work on this important topic. -- Khazar2 (talk) 03:52, 19 May 2013 (UTC)

P.S. As I see it, it's not relying on web sources more than offline ones. There are 33 online sources and 46 book sources, so web sources are just 42%, and book sources are 58%. --Seonookim (What I've done so far) (I'm busy here) (Tell me your requests) 06:50, 15 July 2013 (UTC)