Talk:Deafness in Egypt

Using headers

You'll eventually need to organize your article into sections, using wikipedia's built-in functions for creating headers, etc. Matthall.research (talk) 18:52, 20 September 2022 (UTC)

To be more clear: you should list the 10 topics we'll cover as sections under the body of the article. Matthall.research (talk) 18:54, 20 September 2022 (UTC)

Language Emergence section

No information provided as of 9/20/22. Would score 0/3. Matthall.research (talk) 18:53, 20 September 2022 (UTC)

Comments on 10/18: I appreciate the challenge of having little information to go on! Still, there are a few potential things here we may be able to clarify. First, the emergence of a language and the creation of a dictionary are very, very different things. The dictionary's publication can tell us that the language emerged *no later than* 1984, but it could well have been much earlier. A citation is needed in the first sentence. Also, there seems to be a tension between the 1st and 2nd sentence. Rather than repeating their quote, why not just list the additional resources?

Current score: 2.25/3. If you want to make this even stronger, I recommend considering some of the resources cited in this article: Arab sign-language family#Egyptian Sign Language Matthall.research (talk) 22:20, 18 October 2022 (UTC)

Final graded feedback:

No significant changes - score remains 2.25/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:13, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Significant Organizations section

No information provided as on 9/26/22. Would score 0/3. Matthall.research (talk) 18:10, 26 September 2022 (UTC)

This section is great! 2.75/3 - just fix the [citation needed] flag and you'll be set. Matthall.research (talk) 22:20, 18 October 2022 (UTC)

Final graded feedback:

No changes noted, score remains 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:14, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

EHDI & EI section

Please update the header to be Early Hearing Detection & Early Intervention (seems picky, but it will matter to readers)

U stands for Universal, not Unified.

The "unfortunately" in the last sentence is a departure from neutrality - please delete.

Otherwise great! Current score 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 22:23, 18 October 2022 (UTC)

Final graded feedback:

Minor revisions noted with appreciation.

Unfortunate typo: "tested", not "testes". #oops

New score: 3/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:16, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Language Deprivation section

Wow, nice find! I had a little bit of difficulty understanding the meaning of the last sentence, but not to such an extent that it should stand in the way of a 3/3. Matthall.research (talk) 22:27, 18 October 2022 (UTC)

Final graded feedback:

No changes noted, score remains 3/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:23, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Primary & Secondary Education

This is a very nice description of the Deaf Unit, but that is only one very small piece of the overall landscape of Deaf education in Egypt. Score: 1.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:24, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Employment

Really nice work here! I'm fascinated by this Fulbright program: such a great source (and a very cool idea)! The only thing that would have made this stronger would have been more information about the status quo with respect to actual employment for DHH Egyptians. Score: 2.75/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:27, 5 December 2022 (UTC)

Healthcare

The first part here is nice, although not DHH-specific. The second section's focus on cochlear implants puzzles me... the goal of this section is about access to healthcare, not access to hearing. By this point in the semester, it should be obvious that deafness is not a disease; rather, DHH people struggle with communication access in healthcare contexts, often have poor health literacy due to language deprivation, etc... These are the kinds of topics that should be addressed in this section.

Score: 1.5/3 Matthall.research (talk) 19:30, 5 December 2022 (UTC)