Talk:Conner Cappelletti/GA1

Latest comment: 4 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:37, 10 January 2020 (UTC)Reply

Will take on this review. MWright96 (talk) 20:37, 10 January 2020 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Lead

edit
  • Perhaps it would be benefical to clarify Cappeletti is an association football coach and former player instead of just merely a football coach and former player
  Done, yeah, that probably would be a good idea, changed.

Early life

edit
  • How about add his date of birth in the first sentence of this section?
  Done, the sentence now reads "Cappelletti was born on January 17, 1989 in Kent, Washington..."
  Done, removed.
  • "he lived in Tennessee and Germany before his family settled in Madison, Alabama ahead of his sophomore year of high school." - added another comma before "Alabama" and "ahead"
  Done, added between those two words.
  Done, changed to your recommendation.

College and amateur

edit
  • "with the Lions going 15-3-0" - the hyphens should be replaced by en dashes
  Done, oops, good catch, changed!
  • "He went on to appear in 13 matches during his junior season, notably starting in all three games" - including
  Done, changed to your recommendation.
  • "and was part of Valpo teams that earned back-to-back winning seasons for the first time in program history." - close paraphrasing of the text in bold that will require a rewrite
  Done, changed the sentence to read "...and was part of Valpo squads that earned two consecutive winning seasons for the first time in the team's history.", if that removes the paraphrasing enough.
  • "As a senior, however, Cappelletti hardly saw the field:" - more formal and neutral Cappelletti was chosen to play less as a senior:
  Done, changed the sentence to read "Cappelletti was chosen to play less as a senior: he appeared in just six matches for the Crusaders."
  • "His lone start on the year" - of the year
  Done, changed to your recommendation.

Premier Development League

edit
  • "he took the field with Indiana Invaders, based just 51 miles (82 kilometres) from the Valpo campus." - the text in bold is not mentioned by SoccerStats.us
  Done, couldn't find any source better than directions off of Google Maps, so I removed that text entirely.
  • "and trained with Major League Soccer club Kansas City Wizards.[14][3]" - the refs should be in numerical order
  Done, switched.

Later career

edit
  • "with who he would spend two seasons.[16][3]" - same issue as the second query in the Premier Development League subsection
  Done, switched.
  • "Cappelletti also worked as a youth coach: he coached his former youth club, Valley FC," - as a youth coach for his former club Valley FC,
  Done, changed to your recommendation.
  • "Although the club didn't begin" - typo; did not
  Done, corrected.

International career

edit
  • "He made his Guamanian debut on November 6, 2016," - The EAFF match report does not explicity mention Cappelletti's international debut. The "Lane United's Cappelletti Earns Guam Call-up" article from USLLeagueTwo.com does and needs to be used to verify this portion of text
  Done, added that citation to this section of text (while retaining it up above).
  • "Cappelletti appeared in all three of Guam's matches at the tournament, but would never again be called up by his country." - better and more neutral and was not called up by the country.
  Done, changed to your recommendation.

Coaching career

edit
  • All records such as 5-9-0, 6-6-3, 5-4-5 and 16-18-9 should have their hyphens replaced by en dashes
  Done, replaced all with en dashes.
  • "in Cappelletti's first season in charge, but rebounded to go" - a better and more neutral word recovering
  Done, changed to your recommendation.
  • "they wound up finishing second and qualified" - more formal; ended
  Done, changed to your recommendation.

References

edit
  • Reference 5 should include the page number that the story is located on along with the volume and issue of the newspaper that is front on the cover
  Done, added this information to the citation.

Overall there are some issues concerning the verifiability of content that does not have the correct attached to it and some problems with the grammar in the prose. Will put the review on hold for the time being. MWright96 (talk) 16:52, 11 January 2020 (UTC)Reply

@MWright96: I've addressed all of your concerns on this article, just the one rewrite in the College and amateur section that might still need some scrutiny. Thanks for taking this one on as well (to go with Álvaro Betancourt earlier this week!) Keskkonnakaitse (talk) 16:52, 12 January 2020 (UTC)Reply
@Keskkonnakaitse: Better now. Am promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 20:12, 12 January 2020 (UTC)Reply