Talk:Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk • message • contribs • count • logs • email) 04:41, 1 September 2011 (UTC)

Lead

• was mainly written by Lohan as a letter to her father -> problematic; mainly serving as a letter, or mainly written by Lohan. The latter is not verifiable, so I suggest you remove it

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• after her survived a car crash for which he was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol. -> doesn't make sense

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• They didn't record the song with her. They wrote and produced it. Lohan was the only person who recorded it

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• I wouldn't call the #7 in Australia, and top-70 in the US and Austria moderate. More like it didn't achieve commercial success. Re-phrase

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• the United States' -> no need for punctual point

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• in the living room -> of their home

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• I believe, I could be wrong as I don't remember, doesn't her sister play the younger version of Lohan in the past? If so, this should be mentioned.

No, Aliana plays herself. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• As a response to the music video, Michael said he never realized how blessed his daughter was -> very vague. Not really sure what this means

Me neither. :D Removed. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Background and composition

• Same issues as lead

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• The sample needs improvement. What the lyrics mean is not enough of a rational to include the sample. maybe telling us about its musical elements etc.

Take a look now and tell me what you think. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• This section is kind of flawed. Do you not have any info on its musical bed? Instruments used, influences? Anything?

No... :( I am so pissed because I have done a lot of research for this article and didn't got so much info. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• You don't really mention the B-side anywhere in the actual prose

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Reception

• Stephen Thomas Erlewine -> link

 Done - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• That is an excessive quote. Either place it into a quote box of paraphrase more

Take a look now and tell me what you think. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• Too many John Cayman of "" said

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father)" a negative review, saying the song

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• This section needs a lot of tightening

What? - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• The song spent thirteen weeks on the chart, peaking at number forty-five on the last -> You said it peaked at number seven....?

"reaching number seven in Australia on the week of its debut on chart. The song spent thirteen weeks on the chart, peaking at number forty-five on the last." I don't see any problem with this: it peaked at number seven on the week of its debut on chart, and stayed on it for thirteen weeks, peaking at number forty-five on the last week. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• dropping the chart in the following -> not proper

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Music video

• drunkenness -> alcoholism....

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• You don't make it clear enough what role Aliana plays
• Why even when regarding the rosary?

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• This section needs a lot of tightening as well. maybe someone not familiar with it ca give it a quick copy-edit?

I agree. But who? Novice7?

• The photo doesn't really give us anything, and the description is poor. A better photo and description is needed

Changed with a better description - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

• What about live performances? For one I know she sang (over heavy-back-track and playback) at the AMAs

I'm trying to find more info. It looks like she also performed the song at TRL. I'll fix the lead and add info to this section as soon as I find it. - Sauloviegas (talk) 22:56, 8 September 2011 (UTC)

Misc

• Why are so many references with parameters in italics? Only works that are printed sources (such as Billboard) should be in italics, not Allmusic and iTunes.

 Fixed - Sauloviegas (talk) 18:36, 9 September 2011 (UTC)

• one dead-link

 Removed - Sauloviegas (talk) 18:36, 9 September 2011 (UTC)

• • That's all. On hold until Sunday night (When I'm leaving). Rather short article so you shouldn't have a problem. Good luck.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 17:01, 8 September 2011 (UTC)