Talk:Cliff Clinkscales/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Jaguar in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 11:55, 1 October 2016 (UTC)
Will get to this soon. JAGUAR 11:55, 1 October 2016 (UTC)
- "Clifford "Cliff" Clinkscales[1]" - is there any need for the citation after his name in the lead? Seems a bit odd. Also I couldn't check the reference as you needed to make an account, I think
- I have removed the unnecessary citation.
- "He drew attention from coaches around the country at the time and appeared on national TV, but he soon lost popularity" - I think this sentence would flow better if you lose the second "he"
- Fixed.
- " For his entire college career, Clinkscales had a limited impact as a scorer, but became a top passer" - try For his entire college career, Clinkscales had a limited impact as a scorer although became a top passer
- I used the sentence you suggested.
- "After about four years after leaving the Valley Vipers, he joined the Panama City Breeze" - Around four years after leaving the Valley Vipers he joined the Panama City Breeze
- I used the sentence you suggested.
- "He then signed with the Halifax Rainmen and their reincarnation, the Hurricanes" - are these two separate teams?
- Yes, the Rainmen went bankrupt and folded. The Hurricanes are a separate team, just from the same city.
- ""He was born with a God-given talent...when it comes to basketball he has an IQ that's just crazy."" - space needed after the ellipses
- Fixed.
- "He reflected, "All of [the expectations]" - colon should replace the comma
- Fixed.
- "Heading out of Shores, Hoop Scoop named Clinkscales the 47th-best player in the country" - didn't the high school career section already mention that he left Shores?
- I edited the sentence to "Hoop Scoop named Clinkscales the 47th-best high school player in the country as he entered college" and I moved it to the very end of the high school career section of the article.
- " Blue Demons head coach praised the new signee" - Blue Demons' head coach praised the new signee (missing apostrophe)
- Fixed.
- "In another notable game vs. the Energy that month" - I think it would be best to stick with "Iwoa Energy" here
- Fixed.
- "In the Hurricanes' regular season opener on Boxing Day on December 26, 2015," - just Boxing Day 2015 will be fine
- Fixed.
- The image in the 2015-16 section is blurry and probably won't stand a chance at FAC. I don't mind it staying here as a GA, but it's just something to bear in mind once you submit this to FAC
- I will leave the image until someone objects it at FAC.
- No dead links
- No DAB links
This article is looking good so far. I checked all of the sources that I could access and they all seem to correspond with the prose, so no issues there. Once all of the above have been clarified then this should be good to go! JAGUAR 12:34, 1 October 2016 (UTC)
- @Jaguar: I have addressed all of the points that you brought up. Please check it out and see if you would call this a good article.
- Thanks! This article now meets the GA criteria. Well done JAGUAR 19:41, 1 October 2016 (UTC)