Talk:Charles I of Hungary/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 09:50, 22 March 2016 (UTC)

Royroydeb, thank you for your review. Based on your remarks, I made significant changes in the text. Please find my comments below. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)

• "was King of Hungary and Croatia from 1308." - it should be was the king of Hungary and Croatia from 1308 to ?
  • I added the closing date. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• In the lead only the lineage of paternal grandmother is mentioned. Any reason? Why not of other grandparents?
  • I modified the lead and I hope it clarified the above issue. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• "inherited the claim of his father" - do you want to mean, that he was a contender to succeed his father as the king?
  • I modified the lead. I hope the new text is clearer. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• "He was the only son" - A pronoun is not used at the beginning of a paragraph.
  • I modified the text. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• "was the firstborn son" - what do you mean by firstborn son?
  • I added a wikilink to the word. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• Did the house became "extinct" because it did not have any descendants or was just a claim of Mary?
  • I modified the text. I hope the new text is clearer. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• The article says Andrew III was crowned the king in 1290, but Mary gave her claim to the throne in favour of his son in 1292. How does it possible?
  • I modified the text. I hope the new text is clearer. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
• What authority did the Pope had to decide about the throne?
  • Sorry, I do not understand your above question. Borsoka (talk) 14:44, 22 March 2016 (UTC)
    • Why was the Pope's decision about the throne given importance? Was he sort of kingmaker? RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 18:15, 23 March 2016 (UTC)
      • I added further information on the Pope's claim to suzerainty over Hungary. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 10:09, 22 March 2016 (UTC)

• A powerful Croatian lord... What does lord mean? A landlord? And why did he suddenly invite?
  • I modified the text, adding further information. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• Link Neapolitan
  • Linked. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• They disembarked in Split - it should be from Split
  • Modified (... landed at Split ...). Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• In the last sentence you want to mean the coronation should have taken place in that city with that crown? It should be reworded
  • Modified. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• The last sentence of the second paragraph should also be reworded.
  • Modified. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• Why he renounced the crown for Otto III should be explained
  • I modified the text, adding further information. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• Why was Otto unable to strengthen his position in Hungary?
  • I modified the text, adding further information. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)
• Who is Ladislaus Kan?
  • I added further information. Borsoka (talk) 05:26, 24 March 2016 (UTC)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 18:15, 23 March 2016 (UTC)

• Link Church of our Lady and Buda
  • Thank you for your review. Links added. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• the powerful lord. - Remove powerful
  • Removed the text "against the powerful lord" text. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• now Timișoara in - replace now with present day
  • Modified. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• new voivode - link voivode
  • I modified: voivode of Transylvania (which is already linked under the same subtitle). Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• Charles had taken "full possession" - why it is in quotes?
  • It is a quote from his charters. I modified the text. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• Temesvár to Visegrád - link them. Also mention where they are presently located.
  • Both towns were mentioned in previous sections. I think we should not link them again (as per WP:OVERLINK). Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• link Carpathian mountains
  • Linked. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• Hungarian castles, along with the domains attached - what does domains mean?
  • Changed: domains > estates. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• to rule "with the plenitude of power" - why is it in quotes?
  • Because it is quote from one of his charters. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• promoting "a daughter to a son" - the question over quotation
  • I changed: "promoting a daughter to a son". I think nowadays we would not describe the act as a "promotion". Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• army on the Leitha River. - I think on the banks of Leitha river
  • Modified. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• were soon tortured - if you know the date, mention it otherwise remove soon
  • Removed. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 18:28, 28 March 2016 (UTC)

• seizing the fortress of Severin - link Severin
  • Linked. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• the new King of Poland, Casimir III - link Casimir III.
  • Linked. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• (the so-called chamber's profit) - Why have you written so called?
  • Deleted. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• He died in Visegrád - in brackets write present day country
  • Visegrád is mentioned in previous chapters of the article. Since Charles was king of Hungary, the information that Visegrád is in Hungary cannot be surprising. :) Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• was buried in the Székesfehérvár Basilica - mention present day country
  • As per my last remark. :) Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 05:39, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

• has been recently married to - it should be "has recently married"
  • Modified. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• to "Ruthenia" - again, why is it in quotes?
  • It is a quote from a charter and "Ruthenia" is a medieval term. Text modified. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• His mother was a daughter of Gurke Csák. He was elected Bishop of Győr in 1336. - you want to mean that Csak was elected as the bishop or Charles? Rewording must be done.
  • Modified. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
• the "restoration of the ancient good conditions" - You can instead write, According to Kontler Charles declared that his aim...
  • Sorry, I do not understand your above suggestion: it is not Kontler's POV, but a fact. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 08:16, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for your comprehensive review. Please ping me, if any further action is needed. Borsoka (talk) 12:06, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

I am satisfied with the response. I am passing it. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 13:22, 29 March 2016 (UTC)