Talk:Carlton Hill, Brighton/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum (talk · contribs) 03:29, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

Lead

• "These buildings and their surroundings were afforded further protection in 2008 when it became a conservation area." What is the "it" standing in for here?

History

• "Alderman Hugh Milner Black, a Corporation member for campaigned for housing improvements in Brighton". Seems to be something missing after "member for".

• "The Circus Street Municipal Market, on a wide street built behind Scutt's Royal Circus riding school,[28] became one of Brighton's main markets after it opened in January 1937." That reads a little oddly to me, as it obviously couldn't have been a main market before it opened.

• "The company had a long association with Sussex, and opened a Mechanical Accounting centre in a building on Edward Street in 1968". Why is "Mechanical Accounting" capitalised but "centre" isn't? Was the name of the building "Mechanical Accounting"?

Schools

• "The school adjoins the site that will be redeveloped for the new American Express headquarters". As we've been told that work started last year, shouldn't that be "is being redeveloped"?

• "... playgrounds separated the Boys' and Girls' sections." Why are "Boys'" and "Girls'" capitalised?

• "The new office would be set slightly further back, closer to Carlton Hill ...". Why does it say "would be" rather than "will be", especially as we're told that building work began last year?

Thanks for your review Malleus. My changes are in this range of diffs. Mostly rewording for clarity and changing the odd capitalisations (the New Encyclopaedia of Brighton had "Mechanical Accounting" capitalised, but as it is a description of the activities undertaken I have changed to lower case. Amex House is a major remittance processing centre [original research alert!], so I presume the mechanical accounting was some form of pre-computer, semi-automated processing...). Hassocks5489 (tickets please!) 21:17, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

All seems fine to me now, so we can close this. Malleus Fatuorum 21:19, 20 October 2011 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.