Talk:Born Villain/GA1
Latest comment: 6 years ago by Freikorp in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Freikorp (talk · contribs) 03:04, 25 August 2017 (UTC)
- Is it reasonably well written?
- Lead
- Do we really need to introduce Sablan as "Twiggy's Goon Moon collaborator"? I think it's just making the sentence mroe convulted than it has to be.
- Removed.
- "Produced by Vrenna and Manson, who was more involved" - Were they both more involved or just Manson?
- Re-worded the whole paragraph to make this clearer.
- "contains some of the heaviest material the band has recorded to date." - Consider WP:REALTIME. Perhaps say "at the time of its release, it contained some of the heaviest material the band had ever recorded"
- Done.
- "It received mixed reviews from" - Introduced after the information about 'You're So Vain' makes this statement appear to be related to that song at first. Suggest changing "It" to "The album".
- Reworded.
- Background and recording
- "The band's vocalist" - suggest changing this to "The band's eponymous vocalist"
- Done.
- You need to introduce "the Triptych" better. Suggest changing "The tryptich" to "Manson's triptych of albums". Also wikilink "triptych" and I don't think it should be capitalised.
- Done.
- "one of which failed to appear in a television series about vampires." - Huh? More information needed.
- I always presumed he was talking about True Blood, but that quote was the closest he ever got to mentioning it. Couldn't find anything more substantial, so removed.
- "after the label recoups" - should this be "recouped"
- Done.
- Composition and style
- "band has recorded to date." - Again, see WP:REALTIME.
- Done.
- Promotion and singles
- "Rob Zombie ("Twins of Evil") and Alice Cooper ("Masters of Madness")" - Try and avoid putting anything if brackets if it can be avoided. I think it can be avoided here.
- Changed to "two co-headlining tours: "Twins of Evil" with Rob Zombie and "Masters of Madness" with Alice Cooper."
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- There are mixed date formats in the references. e.g. ref 32 reads "September 2, 2011" while ref 33 reads 2012-03-20.
- Nice catch. Fixed.
- I don't think sources like Vampirefreaks.com and JoBlo.com will survive an FAC nomination, just throwing that out there.
- Yeah, I doubt this article could ever be substantial enough for FA. I know not every article can be FA, so the plan is to get every one of his album articles to GA-status, and then work the ones I think could potentially go beyond that to FA, and just leave the rest at GA. I think Born Villain is one of the latter, unfortunately—even though "Overneath the Path of Misery" and "The Flowers of Evil" are two of my favourite Manson songs ever.
- There are mixed date formats in the references. e.g. ref 32 reads "September 2, 2011" while ref 33 reads 2012-03-20.
- B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
- The first three sentences in "Release and artwork" appear to be un-referenced. Can you provide inline citations here at all?
- Removed the last two of those sentences. The first is referenced by the citation at the end of the following sentence.
- The first three sentences in "Release and artwork" appear to be un-referenced. Can you provide inline citations here at all?
- C. No original research:
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- Can you give any indication of why Ginger Fish departed? Also more information on how and why Johnny Depp got involved would be appreciated. The brevity of these two mentions is likely to leave the reader wanting to know more.
- Elaborated on both.
- Can you give any indication of why Ginger Fish departed? Also more information on how and why Johnny Depp got involved would be appreciated. The brevity of these two mentions is likely to leave the reader wanting to know more.
- B. Focused:
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall:
- Pass or Fail: Placing this one on hold. Take your time though. I don't mind leaving this open considerably longer than the standard seven days since I know you already have my other GA review to respond to. I'll wait till both these nominations are closed before reviewing your other nomination. Freikorp (talk) 13:59, 25 August 2017 (UTC)
- Think I've done everything for both articles. Thanks for the reviews, Freikorp. Wasn't expecting anyone to come along and do these so quickly. Homeostasis07 (talk) 01:23, 26 August 2017 (UTC)
- Pass or Fail: Placing this one on hold. Take your time though. I don't mind leaving this open considerably longer than the standard seven days since I know you already have my other GA review to respond to. I'll wait till both these nominations are closed before reviewing your other nomination. Freikorp (talk) 13:59, 25 August 2017 (UTC)
