Talk:Blackout (Britney Spears album)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Petergriffin9901 (talk • message • contribs • count • logs • email) 00:00, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

• Really impressive article. Will begin soon.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 00:00, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

References

Okay XWX, I'd really love you know your name BTW. Let me list you some things to start with.

• Two broken links
  •  Done
• Several newspaper references use a "cite web" template; #s 43, 46, and some do the opposite; #s 84, 86. Start by making sure all these are in the clear.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 00:09, 2 September 2011 (UTC)
  •  Done. You can call me Rob btw lol. Xwomanizerx (talk) 01:50, 2 September 2011 (UTC)

Lead

• Spears started writing songs for her next album in November 2003 -> kind of confusing; maybe, "Spears started writing songs for the album
  •  Done
• In May 2007, she embarked on The M+M's Tour at House of Blues venues across the United States -> Not saying its not relevant, but why does this belong here? (Don't just remove, tell me why :))
  • Because it doesn't belong anywhere else? lol.
• You mention for a chunk of the lead that Spears began writing music for the album, yet she appears as a co-writer on only two songs; maybe less emphasis on writing it and more working on it
  • Well, she was writing back then and I mention that word only once. I use working for the rest of the album.
• a range of elements of several -> reads a bit weird
  • Changed to elements of several.
• Regarding the photos with the priest, I don't see this in the actual photo in the body. I just see porcelain and wooden object?
  • I thought some people from other religions might not know what a confessional is. What do you suggest?
• Actually, according to MC, the album holds "generally favorable reviews"
  • I thought we didn't use MC as a source, but rather our perspective. Reviews for In the Zone are also generally positive in MC, I put mixed and that didn't come up in your review.
    • I'm not God :P--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 18:37, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
      • • Sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I was just asking you what criteria I should be using. Xwomanizerx (talk) 22:21, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
• called, should be -> small issues with tense
  • I have issues with tense, so check if it's fine now.
• for being robotic -> unless this is a direct quote, I think "overly-processed" is much more appropriate
• to debut at at the
• Blackout has sold 3.1 million copies worldwide. -> As of?
• I think you should establish that her panned performance was the only live performance in promotion of the album
  • Done all.

Background

• Spears told Entertainment Weekly she -> that
  •  Done
• "probably before summertime, or maybe a little sooner than that." -> think, to avoid confusion, you should list the year in brackets
  •  Done
• I think the main (but small) issue with this section is the transition from TOD to BLOUT. Even knowing both albums, I am not sure when you are referring to which. Maybe a live that TOD was cancelled?
  • I think someone who doesn't know the TOD situation might just get that TOD was just a working title for Blackout. Plus, we don't have anything on TOD being canceled.

The M+M Tour

• She started rehearsing for a show at House of Blues venues in secret -> Any other words for 'secret'?
  • I don't know, is 'private' ok?
• and pulled out of a surprise -> what do you mean? She was performing a show and quit?
  • Yes.

Recording

• The photos are still a bit too large Rob, try shimmying them down a bit
  • Down from 230 to 200.
• Spears's -> Spears' (look for several instances throughout the article)
  •  Done
• wanted to work with her "forever" and -> this can have two meanings. He's been wanting to work with her forever, or wants to work with her forver?
  • Changed "forever" to "for a long time"
• I think you should emphasize a little more that "Piece of Me" actually spoke of her personal life. I know you mean it, but it could be clearer
  •  Done

Composition

• Again, photos are a little large
  • Down from 135 to 115
• and third single is "Break the Ice" -> the is kind of breaks it
  •  Done
• I know you have one sample, but for such a diverse album, I think one or two more samples with good descriptions would be nice. If you agree, let me know what song and what part and I can upload it for you :)
  • I'd love to, but isn't the section a bit two crowded with the quote and the pictures? Should I put the quote in the body of the article?
    • Yeah that's true. Hmmm, I guess it's your call. Pictures or samples, for me either works :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 18:37, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
      • I'll let you know in your talk page. Xwomanizerx (talk) 22:21, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
• Honestly, this article is great and such a pleasure to read. You should be very proud!
  • Thanks! That means a lot. :)

Release and artwork

• Any news on the result of the lawsuit?
• was " horrendous"
• The only stand-out issue here is the photo. It doesn't really cover anything said in the section. I wouldn't mind a non-free cover picture of one of those controversial photos, since it is heavily backed in the prose. It would be like an alt cover, and it would pass rational.
  • All done.

Critical reception

• You should list the MC score out of 100 above the chart. Look at The Emancipation of Mimi to see what I mean
• Mention that 61/100 indicated "generally favorable reviews"
• The main issue of this section is the formula "John Smith of " " said". Try switching it up a bit
  • Done all.

Chart performance

• Blackout could possibly debut at the top -> would
  •  Done
• Any source for Mayfield's quote? Or is that all covered in that one ref lines down?
  • It's all in the source.
• had a consistent performance -> had consistent performance. I think that makes more sense
  •  Done

Singles

• It was also commercially successful -> borderline NPOV
• It received positive reviews from music critics -> You only list one citation
  • All done.

Promotion

• it was confirmed on September 6, 2007, that Spears -> no comma needed
• by the by the
• was not heavily promoted by magazine interviews -> through
  • All done.

Legacy

• public began to clash with her public -> try not to use basic words in such close proximity
• Really nice!
  • All done.

Misc

• Source for credits?
•  Done
  • Really awesome article Rob, I'd say your best yet. It was a pleasure to read and so informative. Well done and amazing job! :)--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 17:07, 7 September 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks! I think I'm done now. Xwomanizerx (talk) 22:21, 7 September 2011 (UTC)

Non-reviewer comments

• First of all, let me say: Amazing work on the article!
  • Thank you! :D
• What I noticed is the use of {{Double image}} in Recording section, when I view it in a low resolution, there's squeezing of text. Similar issue in Composition section. Can you reduce the number of images?
  • I think that the images really add to article. Maybe I can reduce the size? And I know what I'm gonna say is WP:OTHERCRAP, but I really liked the way Lego used it on Born This Way, so that's why I added it here.
    • I am the reviewer here, heed my command :) lol. Don't worry Rob, I actually really like those double images, but yes, they are a bit too big.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 01:56, 4 September 2011 (UTC)
      • Lol, I reduced them a bit.
• Can the caption of the sample be expanded a bit? You know, made strong?
  • Expanded and added sources.
• Last, in the tracklisting section, Japan, Target and Swiss editions need sources.
  • • Added sources and removed the Swiss edition.

That's all :) Your name is Rob? Cool! Novice7 (talk) 05:05, 3 September 2011 (UTC)

Hi Maggy! Welcome :D--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 05:41, 3 September 2011 (UTC)