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Talk:Believe in the Stars/GA1

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Latest comment: 14 years ago by ThinkBlue in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 14 years ago12 comments2 people in discussion

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Reviewer: BelovedFreak 15:21, 15 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS):  
    I made a few minor edits, just a little clarification needed in some parts.
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
    No problems, I added a few extra citations at the end of direct quotes per WP:CITE
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
    no problems
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
    no problems
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
    looks stable
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
    images appropriately tagged and captioned
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

No links to disambiguation pages or dead external links. I've done a slight copy edit to the article. I've corrected "regarding to make-up artists" to "regarding two make-up artists", assuming that's what you meant, if not please amend it as appropriate.

Lead

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  • The lead doesn't quite summarise the whole article. It could do with something about the Star Wars references, as that's quite a large paragraph, and slightly more about the critical reception? Just a sentence or two to summarise critics' comments.

Prose / MoS

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Plot

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  • Is there any particular reason Jack gives Liz a sedative for her trip? Is she afraid of flying?
    • No, he asks her what she takes while flying somewhere.
      • Ok, that just sounded a little weird to me but maybe that's just a cultural thing. I don't really hear abut people routinely taking sedatives to fly, but then people don't really fly that much over here compared to the US! If you think it's self-explanatory, that's fine.--BelovedFreak 21:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)Reply
  • "To keep him quiet, Jack tells him that he can be the voice of Knight Rider..." - this is a little unclear. What exactly does he mean by the voice of Knight Rider? Presumably he's referring to an adaption of Knight Rider (1982 TV series)? If so, could do with a wikilink. From my hazy memory & reading the article, there isn't a character called Knight Rider is there? Would he be playing Michael Knight, or KITT the car? Or is something else meant by "he can be the voice of Knight Rider"?
    • I knew this would be a problem. I don't want to speculate, but maybe it is being the voice of the car, IDK. Jack only said "You can be the voice of Knight Ridder in a film adaptation."
  • The story about Kenneth, Tyler and Jack is a little unclear. I understood what was going on from the lead, but in the plot section, it's not as clear. I think you need to be more explicit about the fact that the olympics were staged and that Kenneth is shocked/upset or whatever about the revelation, so there's a clear reason why he feels that he's lost two heroes.
    • Oops, forgot to mention that, but added that the tetherball competition was staged.
  • With the Jenna & Tracy storyline, I also found this a little unclear. It was not obvious at first that Tracy was a man (probably because not many men in the UK are called Tracy!), not helped by the fact that the actor is also called Tracy. I also didn't know that he is black or she is white. I came to realise this reading further. I've edited these sentences to try to make it clearer, but I apologise if I've inadvertently changed the meaning, so please check that!
    • It reads fine, don't worry about it, and thank you for fixing it.
  • "Jack goes so far as to give him cable in his apartment due to his good morale" - do you mean morale? Or good morals? Was this in this episode? Or an earlier episode? If the latter, it may not be necessary to include it as it seems a bit tangential.

Other

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  • Consider adding an WP:ALT description to the infobox image. Although not a requirement for GA or FA, it would improve accessibility. The usefulness of alt tags can be a bit controversial, but of the two images used in the article, I think that the infobox one would benefit from a description.
    • Added alt, but I'll just say that it's lame, since I'm no good with it.
      • Ok, that's fine. I tweaked it a bit, but they're very hard to write. Also, WP:ALT seems to have changed a little in its advice since I last looked. Hopefully it'll help someone, and if you ever take this to FA, hopefully someone more in the know will help you out!--BelovedFreak 21:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

Another easy read & review, just a few changes needed to make a few plot details clearer.--BelovedFreak 16:10, 15 May 2010 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for the review, I appreciate it. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 20:27, 16 May 2010 (UTC)Reply
Good work, nearly done. Just the Knight Rider and "morale" issues outstanding.--BelovedFreak 21:08, 16 May 2010 (UTC)Reply
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