Talk:Banksia attenuata/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sasata (talk) 22:55, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

I've signed up for this review, will have comments up by the end of the week. Sasata (talk) 22:55, 30 November 2010 (UTC)

Comments after 1st readthrough/copyedit: Sasata (talk) 06:39, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• no subspecies is mentioned twice in taxonomy

whoops! fixed... Casliber (talk · contribs) 06:57, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• "George reviewed the variation in form in the species and felt tree and shrub forms to be similar in their parts" sounds awkward

have a bit of a verbal block there - the gist of it is that apart from one being a tree and the other a shrub, they were otherwise similar in attributes. Casliber (talk · contribs) 07:12, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• link/gloss emarginate

glossed Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:46, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• "Their arrangement." not a sentence

removed/streamlined 19:46, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• what's a "heavy soil"?

one based on a clay - nothing jumps out to link to but I'll have a think about it. added "clay-based" anyway. Coarse or light soils are sandy Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:46, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

Perhaps Soil type for a link, tagged unfortunately.

• Ecology section feels almost like a wall of text; could use some more pics if there's any available, if not of the Banksia, then maybe some pollinators? Subsections?

I opted for more images as there is awealth to choose from :) Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:17, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

• • as it so happens today venture was into the wilds of Booragoon, Western Australia specifically to produced these images for the article;

• 
  With ants feeding on the necter
• 
• 
• 
  full spike with flowers part way thru Anthesis
• 
  plant
• 
  flower spike viewed from above
• 
  tree
• 
  inflorescence with buds, note the rust on the leaves
• 
  leaves
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  New growth
• 
  seedling, one of number that had started to grow under an older bush
• 
  very early in the formation of a flower spike

• • planning on returning to the same site during the week for additional shots including bark and tree structure though I sure you'll be able to use some pretty flower pictures to effect. Gnangarra 12:54, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

(mouth watering) oh yeah! Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:36, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• "between 15 and 20 C" convert

done Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:36, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

• "Seedling survival for the species is lower than for banksias which regenerate by seeding over time, but the longevity of mature plants allows for maintenance of population despite poor recruitment until favourable years enable better survival of young plants." something is run-on there

I tried a reword, how's that? Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:17, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

• "compared with longer intervals the reseeders B. hookeriana and B. priorates." feels like it's missing a word somewhere

added a "for" Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:17, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

• "Another study on root architecture of Banksia hookeriana, B. menziesii and B. attenuata found the overall structure of all three to be similar, with proteoid mats more active and growing in wetter months (winter-spring), and plants sending out several sinker roots which descend to reach the water table, and the original tap root has often died off." last part sounds awkward (supposed to be connected by "and"?)

reworded. yeah tricky this bit. Casliber (talk · contribs) 03:28, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

• what are the "Big Bad Banksia Men"?

classic Oz childrens' literature --> Snugglepot and Cuddlepie, now linked. Casliber (talk · contribs) 19:39, 5 December 2010 (UTC)

Looking good, I'll read again carefully later tonight and see if there's anything else I can do to help shove towards FAC. Sasata (talk) 03:35, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

I proofread the refs, hopefully they have pretty consistent formatting now. One thing I'm not sure about: is it "banksia woodland", "Banksia woodland", or "Banksia woodland". The article uses the first, but the refs have a mix of the second and third (and I've probably inadvertently changed some while going through them). You might consider integrating/expanding the single sentence paragraph in "Cultivation and cultural use". Also, most of the pics are of flowers, how about a multiple image stack with early/middle/late flowers for an explicit visual comparison, and fill the new space with pics of the leaves or new growth? Something to think about before the FAC, but until then, the article meets GA criteria, so I'll pass it now. (p.s. fix the dab to Murchison River) Sasata (talk) 17:13, 6 December 2010 (UTC)

I've seen variants in the refs - most consistently "Banksia" capitalised and "woodland" not, in which case having the first in italics (which happens half the time anyway) is more consistent with other usage, so I will conform mentions. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:36, 7 December 2010 (UTC)