Talk:Baltimore Gold Hoard/GA1
Latest comment: 8 months ago by Sturmvogel 66 in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 19:38, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:38, 14 August 2023 (UTC)
- Images appropriately licensed
- One year later the two boys discovered a second hoard. "in the same location"
- In 1935 while awaiting the ruling in their case
about their 1934 gold discoveryRedundant
- until a 1935 burglary The reader already knows the year, rephrase along the lines of "later that year, or some such. And do the same for the date in the second discovery section
- In 1935 there was a burglary at Jones' home and the coins and money from the second discovery were stolen. $5,000 in gold and $3,100 in cash were taken from a trunk on the second floor.[8] On September 2, 1935, a window on the Jones' apartment was forced open near a fire escape. The home was ransacked and a lock on a trunk was broken. Henry Grob's stepfather Philip A. Rummel claimed that his life savings were in the trunk along with the $5,000 in gold and $3,100 in cash. This is awkward. Don't repeat the amounts stolen and open with the details of the burglary.
- Move the names of the property owners to the background section
- Move the court battle para from the second discovery section to the legal disposition section
- Henry Grob never collected his share of the find because he died in 1937.[7] Grob had been working in a packing house for US$16 a week and died of pneumonia on August 25, 1937.[13] Grob had been admitted to South Baltimore General Hospital and after his death a funeral was planned at the home of his sister. The litigation over possession of the gold was ongoing at the time of his death. Rephrase all this as there's a fair amount of redundancy here--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 09:27, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
Looks good, although I've tweaked it a bit. Feel free to revert it if you like.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:28, 23 August 2023 (UTC)