Talk:Animal migration/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wretchskull (talk · contribs) 12:59, 11 November 2021 (UTC)

@Chiswick Chap: Interesting article! My knowledge of animal migration is limited outside ornithology, so feel free to grill me for any dumb quibbles as you are most definitely far more educated than I am. I will begin with the first and third GA criteria (I have made some minor c/e) and will continue with the rest later.

(MOS)

• Since the article uses hyphens, add them to "radio tracking".

• Done.

• Shouldn't the image caption on the "Insect" section have a period?

• No, it's not a complete sentence but a descriptive phrase.

Lede

• "The trigger for the migration may be" seems strangely worded. Change it to something along the lines of "Reasons for migrating include"

• Edited.

• The second paragraph has a long sentence that could be divvied into multiple ones.

• Done.

• I would try to have all information in the body so as to eliminate all refs from the lede.

• Moved.

• The lede doesn't summarize the "Tracking migration" or "In culture" sections.

• Added.

Overview

• The first sentence after the blockquote is rather technical and unclear. I understand what you mean, but it doesn't adequately describe the concepts, particularly to normal readers. For example, "(both spatially and temporally)": could you explain better to the average Joe?

• Fixed.

• "some daily movements are also referred to as migration" --> "some daily movements are also migration" or something less wordy.

• Reworded.

• "some jellyfish make daily horizontal migrations, traveling a few hundred metres across a lake" doesn't the sentence already imply that it travels? Remove "traveling", or if you want to keep it, give it a double-"l" since the article is in British.

• Edited.

In birds

• I feel like this section could be expanded as this is one of the most well-studied migratory animals. Perhaps add text about how birds navigate when migrating?

• Added.

In fish

• "for wintering, to spawn, or to feed" either make both "spawn" and "feed" into "spawning" and "feeding" respectively or "to spawn" into "spawning". You could also change "wintering" to "to winter". Consistent grammatical tense needed.

• Fixed.

In insects

• "and successive generations travel the next stage of the migration" --> "and successive generations continue the migration"

• Done.

In mammals

• "Migration is important in cetaceans, including whales, dolphins and porpoises." Why is it important?

• Added.

In other animals

• I feel like this subsection could be expanded.

• Done.

• Perhaps remove the "further reading" and replace "the [[sea turtles]] migrate" with "the [[sea turtle migration|sea turtles migrate]]" as the section is not only about one animal. Just personal choice though.

• Replaced link.

Tracking migration

• This section could probably also be expanded with some info from the main page.

• I think we're probably ok with the short summary on this one, as it's not part of migration as such.

• "and only a fraction of tagged individuals were generally recovered." "generally recovered"...?

• Fixed.

In culture

• "various folklore and erroneous explanations sprang up to account" what about "various folklore and erroneous explanations emerged" or something more concise.

• Done.

That's it for now. I'm sorry you have to wait so long with such an important article! I'll do a source review after you address my comments (ping me). Wretchskull (talk) 12:59, 11 November 2021 (UTC)

Wretchskull - all done to date. Chiswick Chap (talk) 14:54, 11 November 2021 (UTC)

More

@Chiswick Chap: Continuing review.

MOS, I forgot some things

• Link the first mention of "spawn". It is linked in the fish image caption but not in the body.

• Done.

• Remove "Human migration" and "Migration (ecology)" from see also as they are already incorporated in the article (per WP:SEEALSO). Whether you want to remove or keep "Animal navigation" is up to you as it is only linked once in the lede.

• Removed.

Ref spot checks

Note: only issues that I see are addressed below; spot checks that pass aren't mentioned.

• Is ref 5 necessary before the blockquote? It already has a ref at the end and it's the same page range.

• It's generally best as otherwise folks start tagging.

• I'm having trouble deciphering what ref 12 has to do with this article. You wrote "The circadian clock regulates their [(birds)] migration patterns, allowing them to determine when the appropriate time is to migrate, which location will best help them regulate their metabolism, and whether land or water travel will be most advantageous". However, the ref is about cell migration and also doesn't mention anything about birds, or whether land or water travel is advantageous. It does support the statement about metabolism: "The circadian clock is intimately involved in the control of metabolic and physiological process" (from the "Introduction" section). This makes me a bit concerned for the rest of the references, but maybe you just accidentally overlooked this one in particular.

• Gone.

• Ref 14 supports most of its preceding text, but the text states that young or small species usually forage in shallow waters, but the ref only mentions a species of shrimp.

• Added refs.

• The "Tracking migration" section only uses one online source for a whole paragraph. A quick search on google scholar shows more than 31 thousand results about tracking migration. Would definitely recommend ref variety there.

• Well, the source is a broad overview, ideal for a summary paragraph. Added some more detail and refs.

Further reading

• Please add ISBNs to all books.

• Added.

• I'd remove the links to google books. It is redundant if ISBNs are present, and, the second URL is broken for me.

• Done.

General

Images are properly licensed, the article is stable and well-summarized, no plagiarism detected, and AGF on subscription based and inaccessible sources.

• Noted.

If you feel like you want to add, remove or alter something that wasn't mentioned, feel free to do so. Ping me when you have addressed my comments. Wretchskull (talk) 17:37, 11 November 2021 (UTC) Wretchskull

@Chiswick Chap: This article has been promoted to GA. I recommend going through references that you haven't added as they could turn up like this ref, which had nothing to do with the article. You never fail to impress me with your work! Wretchskull (talk) 22:58, 11 November 2021 (UTC)