Talk:Alex Lawless/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Resolute ^{Lest We Forget} 20:19, 1 November 2009 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

This article certainly looks much improved over where it was at when it was first nominated. Things I have picked up on, however:

• "He picked up an injury..." Do you know what the injury was? The statement seems unusually vague.
  • I'm afraid not, I'm unable to find anything. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
• The infobox says he made 14 appearances with Torquay, but the article says 16. Please correct whichever is in error.
  • Neither is an error; the infobox accounts for league stats only, whereas the prose includes all appearances, which I have mentioned to clarfy. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
• This is one of my biggest problems too, but you have a lot of comma abuse in various places. Look to reword several sentences. i.e.:
  • "His final appearance of the 2005–06 season came in a 2–0 defeat to Lincoln City in February 2006,[15] and after making 16 appearances,[16] he was released by Torquay." Could be reworded as "His final appearance of the 2005–06 season came in a 2–0 defeat to Lincoln City in February 2006. He was released by Torquay after making 16 appearances."
    • Reworded. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
      • Better, but that is only one example. You have numerous run-on sentences throughout. These need to be looked at.
        • Have had a go at rewording. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:10, 6 November 2009 (UTC)
• "After a period out because of suspension," - Why was he suspended?
  • I've tried searching through the Gloucestershire Echo's archives, but I'm unable to find anything. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
• Is there any indication of why he would turn down interest from Football League teams to stay in the Conference National?
  • I've tried searching for more on this, but haven't been able to find anything. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
• "Style of Play" is pretty glowing. Are there any weaknesses to his game that should be mentioned?
  • Not been able to find anything yet, but I'll keep an eye out. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
• Is there any information on his early personal life? Family, where he grew up, etc? This article is a decent log of what he has done in his sporting career, but is rather thin on who he is. This does not seem out of line with other random football GA's I have looked at, so I'm not extremely concerned about it.
  • Again, I'll keep a look out. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)

This is just a start, and I will probably take a second look and have a few more comments a bit later. I am placing the nomination on hold for now, as I do think the article is reasonably close. Resolute ^{Lest We Forget} 20:19, 1 November 2009 (UTC)

Still thin in some areas, but that appears to be the result of a lack of reliable source coverage. On the whole, the article appears to cover the topic matter sufficiently for me to pass this as a GA. Congrats! Resolute ^{Lest We Forget} 16:34, 11 November 2009 (UTC)