Talk:Aaron Nola/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Go Phightins! (talk · contribs) 22:58, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

I should be able to have a go at this in the next couple of days. Go Phightins! 22:58, 28 March 2021 (UTC)

Top-Line Criteria Review

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it well written?

   A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:

   Just a few issues. See below.

   B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:

   See below.

2. Is it verifiable with no original research?

   A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:

   Mostly fine here. Could you link MLB.com and Bleacher Report on first reference? Also, please add Rivals.com as the publisher in ref[9]. Could you add a publisher for ref[24] (I believe MLB Advanced Media is still technically the publisher for all MLB.com and MILB.com stuff, though if you go with Major League Baseball as you did throughout the rest of the article, that's fine too, I think.) Could you add a location for The Express-Times (ref[29]) and The News Journal (ref[36])?

    Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:32, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

   B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

   Probably worth noting that the Philly Inquirer, Morning Call, The Advocate, and The Athletic are, to some degree or another, behind paywalls that may limit reader access. (Side note: Do you subscribe to The Athletic and, if so, are you a happy customer? I've been thinking about it and haven't quite pulled the trigger ...)

    Done all of the above (I use a script to bypass most paywalls, so I tend to miss some of these). As for the Athletic, I tried it out on their $1 for 6 months student plan and I'm impressed with their longform reporting. I'm actually hoping to get a job there once a spot opens up for hockey and/or baseball writers. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:32, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

   C. It contains no original research:

   Looking good on first read, but will do a little bit more of a detailed dive soon.

   D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:

   No issues noted.

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

   Good.

   B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):

   A few spots to consider that strike me as a bit on the overly detailed side include: SEC co-pitcher of the week (at least in as much detail as is there now) and a few of the historical comparisons in 2017-2018 seem to border on trivia (e.g., starts with four or fewer hits) ... also, are these all records within one's first 78 starts? If so, that's a little unclear ...

    Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:39, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

4. Is it neutral?

   It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:

   No concerns here.

5. Is it stable?

   It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:

   Good.

6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   Any reason not to throw in this one somewhere? Maybe the pitcher profile section? File:Aaron Nola (47690831282) (cropped).jpg ... Also, I don't believe it's a requirement at the GA level, but adding alt text is probably advisable if possible.

    Done both. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:38, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

   B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

   Captions shouldn't have ending punctuation per MOS:CAPTIONS

    Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 18:32, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

   Not going to formally put this on hold unless you want me too. Let me know what you think of comments on the substantive review, and I'll give it a final look whenever you're ready. No concerns that this won't meet the mark soon. Go Phightins! 23:41, 29 March 2021 (UTC)

General Comments/Prose Review

Lead

• Maybe just call it his "high school career" in the lead since it's a little ambiguous whether you are referring to a particular Catholic high school when it's used as an adjective like that?
• Can you mention something about him being the team's ace and/or his pitching style? It seems a little odd for it to fall off after 2018.
  •  Done Rewritten accordingly. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Early life

• Can you clarify that the "strange gyrations" were him mimicking/perfecting his pitching motion? I was a little confused by the current construction until I consulted the source.
• The first two sentences of the second paragraph have a lot of passive voice. Maybe consider something like ... "His father coached many of his earliest little league teams until he began playing at [Catholic High School ...]" and maybe flip around the second sentence to be that his freshman season was hampered by stress fractures, which doctors attributed to him growing six inches?
• I assume Mr. Baseball is for the top baseball player in the state?
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

College career

• Second sentence is ambiguous ... presumably you mean Aaron chose not to sign; did Austin? Seems like those sentences need a bit of expansion for context.
• "quickly changed course" --> "bounced back" or "rebounded" or something like that.
• He quickly changed course, and posted five shutout innings, a turnaround that struck LSU head coach Paul Mainieri and pitching coach Alan Dunn. Check this sentence. A fragment at the moment.
• Can you clarify the significance in college baseball of being a weekend starter? I think that's like the ace, right? Some context for the quote from the coach would be good.
  • Apparently this is a phenomenon so accepted that it's almost impossible to find a definition. I found a paper from 2002 about another player that suggested that a "weekend starter" is important because it means you'll be playing in conference games, which makes sense. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
• Nola finished his freshman season in 2012 with a 7–4 record and 3.61 earned run average (ERA) in ​89 2⁄3 innings, as well as seven walks and 89 strikeouts to Nola finished his freshman season in 2012 with a 7–4 record and a 3.61 earned run average (ERA) in ​89 2⁄3 innings, as well as with seven walks and 89 strikeouts.
• In the third paragraph, it should be 0.82, not 0.082 for the WHIP per Baseball-Reference.
  •  Done all of the above. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Professional career

Minor leagues

• He signed with the team on June 10, 2014, a deal which included a $3.3 million signing bonus, and was assigned to the Phillies' Class A-Advanced minor league affiliate, the Clearwater Threshers. Kind of a misplaced modifier in the middle there ... maybe rephrase as he signed with the team for a $3.3 million signing bonus on June 10, 2014 and was assigned to ...?
  •  Done 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Philadelphia Phillies

2015-16

• The decision was made to preserve the pitcher's health, with the Phillies agreeing back in July to shut him down around 185 innings. This seems like a bit of extraneous detail at least when structured as two clauses. Maybe just "The Phillies had long planned to shut him down after he pitched about 185 innings to preserve his health" or similar.
• I think that it's more descriptive to call it the "opening day roster" than the "25-man roster" ... or maybe add "25-man roster to open the season" or the like.
• No comma needed in the last sentence of the second paragraph.
  •  Done all of the above Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

2017-18

• He made a strong return to the plate, allowing two runs or fewer in 18 of his 27 season starts. To the mound, perhaps?
• In the next sentence, do you "throw" a strikeout? Maybe "recording"?
• I think we need an introductory sentence for 2018, preferably mentioning that he was the opening day starter for the first of, what, four seasons now?
  • That's called I meant to include that and forgot. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 21:35, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
• I mentioned this before, but I'm not sure I understand the significance of his various records in 78 starts. What's special about 78 starts? Seems kinda random and almost like trivia to me ... can we at least condense those few sentences a bit?
  •  Done all of the above Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

2019-20

• I don't mean to be pedantic, but again in this sentence: He threw a 12–7 record for the season, pitching to a 3.87 ERA and 229 strikeouts in 34 starts and ​2012 1⁄3 innings. He "posted" a 12-7 record or he "recorded" or "earned" or something other than "threw" ...
  •  Done Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)
• As a general note, as his career goes on and if sights are ever set on FA, this is a very stat-laden article, so that is going to need to be pared back. I don't think it prevents the article from meeting any of the GA criteria, but it's a little specific for a general audience.

Pitching style

• saying, "I've always wanted to throw one but never took it into a game" Period here can/should go inside the quotation mark per the original quote, I think.
• I would mention that he's a top-of-the-rotation starter and maybe sprinkle in where he ranks relative to other aces in the MLB. For example, I saw an MLB.com article the other day that had him as like the 10th or 11th best opening day starter for 2021? Generally, just some context that he's a force would be helpful here, I think.
  •  Done both. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Personal life

This section is kinda choppy. Can all the stuff about his family be structured into one paragraph and the rest be in a second?

• •  Done Rewritten. I left the Christian stuff in a separate paragraph but restructured the first two to flow better. Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:30, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Go Phightins! I believe everything has been addressed. Some sections were rewritten and I cut the trivia. As for the stats, I know other sports editors who are big on including as many as possible. FA is probably something for after his retirement... Kncny11 ^(shoot) 22:39, 30 March 2021 (UTC)

Excellent! I just made a few tweaks, but I think we're good to go here. As for FA status, I agree, it's best to wait until, at minimum, the late stages of his career. The only current player FAs I know of in WP:BASEBALL history have been Derek Jeter, which Muboshgu spearheaded after Jeter had been with the Yankees for at least 15 years, and Jim Thome, which I did when Thome has 1-2 years left. I just wanted to mention it as FA tends to prize summary style, and sometimes year-to-year stats can be a little dense and specific. Anyway, great work on this, and happy to have it listed as a GA in time for tomorrow's Opening Day! Go Phightins! 10:45, 31 March 2021 (UTC)