Talk:2016 Hong Kong ePrix/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Bcschneider53 (talk · contribs) 22:10, 13 March 2017 (UTC)

Looks like you've had to wait a long time for this one. I'll take it on. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 22:10, 13 March 2017 (UTC)

Tools show no indication of dead links or copyright issues. One dab link is present in the article, but it's in the succession box at the bottom and redirects to this article itself. I've seen a few races here and there but I'm no Formula E expert so I'll ask...was the Hong Kong ePrix a one-time thing? --Bcschneider53 (talk) 22:22, 13 March 2017 (UTC)

• Currently as I write, the answer is no. MWright96 (talk) 07:38, 14 March 2017 (UTC)

Lead

• "He pulled away from the rest of the field and held first place until he was unable to react to José María López's crashed car on the 17th lap" did he crash into López or did it just slow him up? This could use some clarification.
  • Reworded for clarification. MWright96 (talk) 07:38, 14 March 2017 (UTC)
• "Some drivers elected to make pit stops to switch to a second car" Should this be "switch to their second cars" since every driver (presumably) has a second car?
  • Changed. MWright96 (talk) 07:38, 14 March 2017 (UTC)
• "e.Dams-Renault held a 19-point advantage over joint second place teams Audi Sport ABT and MS Amlin Andretti." I assume this is for the Constructors' Championship? I'd make a note of that.
  • In Formula E, it is known as the Teams' Championship since the teams do not build their own cars. MWright96 (talk) 07:38, 14 March 2017 (UTC)

Background

• "some teams opted to keep the same line-up as they had in the previous season, however some teams changed drivers." Maybe this is an American vs British English issue, but I thought the proper grammar here would be "...season; however, some teams..."

Practice and qualifying

• "A 30-minute shakedown was held" unless "shakedown" is an official term, this seems a bit informal to me.
• "pit lane.[24][25] di Grassi ran wide and went deep" Capital D.

Race

• "The three drivers, who were allowed to use the boost, were determined by a fan vote." I don't think these commas are necessary.
• "causing Ma to heavily apply his brakes, and struck the back-end of da Costa's car" mixing tenses here; should be either apply and strike, or applied and struck.
• "...the incident. di Grassi was unable to slow..." Capital D again. I see you've fixed most of these but I'd take another look to make sure all of these are accounted for.
• "technical problems with his second car caused him to search for different reset proceducres, losing the driver one minute and 27 seconds and rejoined the circuit one lap down in 15th position." Again, tenses mixed here. I'd suggest "technical problems with his second car caused him to search for different reset proceducres, lose one minute and 27 seconds and rejoin the circuit one lap down in 15th position."

As usual with your articles, very well-written with only a few minor issues. Placing on hold for now. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 16:00, 14 March 2017 (UTC)

@MWright96: Nice work; thank you for the swift responses. I'll go ahead and pass this article. If you're not too busy, would you mind taking a look at an FAC I have up for review right now? Of course, I understand if this is not possible. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 17:02, 14 March 2017 (UTC)

• @Bcschneider53: Absolutely Ben. Comments will appear later. Also thank you for reviewing this article. MWright96 (talk) 17:11, 14 March 2017 (UTC)