Talk:2016 FA Cup final/GA1

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Latest comment: 2 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Anarchyte (talk · contribs) 01:34, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

I'll try to get around to doing this by the end of the day. Anarchyte (talkwork) 01:34, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

That should be enough for now. I'll look over the rest of the article in a few hours. Anarchyte (talkwork) 09:34, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Crystal Palace
Manchester United
  • The source does not mention a disallowed goal from Cheikhou Kouyaté.
    The source says "Cheikhou Kouyate, the latter ruled narrowly offside as he headed in a rebound" which means to say Kouyate scored with a header but the goal was disallowed because he was adjudged to have been offside, so I made it easier to understand! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 10:41, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Background
First half
  • Blind's pass on ten minutes - should this say at ten minutes?
    I think this may be ENGVAR, on ten minutes, in the tenth minute... but oddly not "at" ten minutes... The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:35, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
    I use British English whenever possible and I rarely come across "on x minutes". It's usually "at [time]", like "at ten past..." or without any prepositions, like "it happened ten minutes in". Then again, I live in Australia so there's not as much consistency between each speaker. How about we change it to pass ten minutes in? Anarchyte (talkwork) 15:09, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Rooney then struck a shot from distance, taking a deflection of Dann, but Hennessey gathered the ball at the second attempt - convoluted. Did Rooney get the ball from Dann or did Dann reflect Rooney's shot? It's not been mentioned that this was the first attempt, so "second" may be unnecessary. for the next attempt?
    I've re-worded, see if that works for you? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:35, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
    It's better, but it's still a little vague. If the Dann deflected the ball, can we say the ball [was deflected by/took a deflection from] Dann, or if he reflected it, can we say the ball reflected off Dann? I'm also not certain about what gathered by Hennessey at the second attempt means. The article doesn't state who took the shot after Dann defended the first shot. I think if we introduce something like [deflection by/deflection from/reflected off] Dann, [player] took [a/another] shot, but the ball was gathered by Hennessey [in/at] the second attempt this clarity issue would be resolved. Anarchyte (talkwork) 15:09, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
    I think it's as good as it's going to be really without losing the kind of cadence of a match report which I'm trying to do while remaining understandable and open to all. There was no second shot, Hennessey just didn't gather it first time round, he took two attempts to gather it. I've clarified that. The ball "deflected off" Dann, for sure, not reflected or anything on that theme... See if it works now? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:16, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Carrick's shot from 25 yards (23 m) went high over the Crystal Palace bar before Rojo became the first Manchester United player to be booked for a foul on Ward - this might make sense to someone who watched this live, but in prose this series of events seems disjointed. The booking took place two minutes later, too. Changing before to and two minutes later would solve this IMO. Secondly, for a foul on Ward can probably be shortened to for a foul. Unless I'm wrong and the article excludes it/I missed it, no other player was fouled because of an incident with Ward.
    I've reworded but left Ward in as I'm often asked who or with whom did the foul take place? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:35, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
    If that's the case, what about Rojo fouled on Ward and became the? Similar to what you did for the issue in Second half. Anarchyte (talkwork) 15:09, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
    Ok, you have it! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:16, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Second half
  • Dann became the first Crystal Palace player to be booked for a foul on Rashford - similar problem as above. Ignore if multiple people fouled on Rashford, otherwise consider to be booked for a foul.
    I've revised the order to try to compensate for your comment and my response above, let me know if you think it works. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:40, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Extra time
  • Zaha went down while being challenged by Blind but Clattenburg turned down the Crystal Palace appeals for a penalty - very minor, but the word "down" is used a couple of times within a few words. I reckon this sentence would benefit from turned down becoming declined.
    Agreed, I hate quick repetition. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:40, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • the match ended 2–1 to Manchester United - minor reword proposal: the match ended 2–1 in favour of Manchester United.
    Hmm, not convinced, but I'll revise it a different way to be clear. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:40, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Post-match
Conclusion
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Just waiting on the above issues to be resolved and we should be good to go. Anarchyte (talkwork) 13:34, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

Anarchyte lovely, thanks so much, it's alway great to get a different set of eyes on an article like this, I really appreciate the work you put into the review. Cheers. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 14:40, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
@The Rambling Man: I've responded above to your replies. We're getting close! Let me know if you struggle to find a reviewer for 2020 FA Cup Final and I might find some time. Anarchyte (talkwork) 15:09, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Anarchyte okay, tinkered and chipped away at the football lingo a bit more, how is it now? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:16, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Perfect. I'm quite happy to pass this now. Anarchyte (talkwork) 15:25, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
Thank you very much! If you do have a spare bit of time for another review, any of my other GANs, especially the 2020 FA Cup final, that would be great. Cheers! The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 15:35, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply