Wikipedia

Talk:1980 National League West tie-breaker game/GA1

< Talk:1980 National League West tie-breaker game
Latest comment: 14 years ago by Nosleep in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit
Latest comment: 14 years ago25 comments2 people in discussion

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 21:44, 1 August 2010 (UTC)Reply

Very sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. Very busy on-wiki and off. Let's get to it.

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    • It was necessary after both teams finished the season with records of 92-70 For total idiotproofing, a link here to Win–loss record would be sweet.
    • The Cincinnati Reds won the Western division West, not Western, is the official name of the division.
    • The Astros acquired Joe Morgan and Nolan Ryan via free agency during the offseason and the Dodgers signed Dave Goltz. Were these moved meant to make them more competitive with the Reds? (I imagine so) If that's present in the citations, it would make this somewhat dry piece of information integrate a lot better.
    • and relief pitcher Joe Sambito all credited Morgan's leadership Try to find a way to mention that Sambito was a member of the Astros. You probably intended to imply it, but I think it could be made even clearer. I'm struggling to think of a phrasing to suggest right now, though.
    • with an eight game winning streak hyphen in eight-game
    • holding at least a share of first place in the division for until April 30. ???
    • The Reds fell back, however, re-taking the divisional lead periodically in May and last holding the position on August 16. "The Reds" is used to start the previous sentence – use a pronoun here. "Fell back" seems vague as well. So how about "They were not as successful over the remainder of the season, only occasionally taking the division lead and lost holding it on August 16.
    • The Astros held the lead for the majority of the season from that point onwards Tighter as for most of the season thereafter
    • including a 3 game lead spell out three, and put a hyphen in three-game
    • Coincidentally, the series matched the Astros with the Dodgers for three games at Dodger Stadium. What purpose does "Coincidentally" serve in this sentence? I'd ditch it. If your point is that the series and the one-game playoff were at the same site, specify that
    • Dave Kindred described the Astros as losing Don't need his full name again. It's present just above in the previous paragraph.
    • and a home run by Ron Cey which also scored Steve Garvey who had reached base in the previous at bat on an error. Gotta have a comma in there somewhere. There's a few options - after "Cey," after "Garvey," after both. I think after "Garvey" is probably the best option.
    • three straight Dodgers' No apostrophe here, as this is just a plural and not a possessive, but it should be present on ending the Astros season and with the Astros success in 1980.
    • Both he and Morgan were walked to load the bases with one out. Were they intentionally walked? That's what "were walked" suggests, and if so, a link to intentional base on balls would be better than base on balls. Think we need a comma after "walked" as well.
    • The Dodgers broke up the shutout in the bottom of the fourth The notion of "breaking up a shutout" in the fourth inning is quaint. No one thinks about a shutout in the fourth inning. Suggest scored their only run in the bottom of the fourth, which would necessitate revisions later in the paragraph
    • The Dodgers defeated the Astros in MLB's first Divisional Series and went on to win the 1981 World Series. Just a few words here to specify that this LDS came about for different reasons than the contemporary LDS would help a lot. Due to the 1981 Major League Baseball strike, the season was split into halves and the winner of each half advanced to the postseason. The Dodgers won the first half and the Astros the second and so met in the first National League Division Series
    • In baseball statistics tie-breakers count as regular season games Comma after "statistics" And similarly after "Similarly" :p Similarly Steve Garvey played in his 163rd game of the season,
    • Dusty Baker won a Silver Slugger Award and Steve Howe, who pitched the final two scoreless innings of the tie-breaker for the Dodgers in relief, won the Rookie of the Year Award for their performances in the regular season The clause after Howe's name are a little clunky. I'll think of a potential revision.
    B. MOS compliance:  
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:   All links are live, which is good.
    • Citations 6 and 7 need publisher specified.
  1. B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:   Some citation in the "Game summary" section would help.
  1. C. No original research:  
  2. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  3. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  4. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  5. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:  
    • I'm not sure the Howe image is appropriate. It's bound to mislead. When I first clicked the article, I thought "Wow, I never knew the Cardinals were in the NL West." I really think an image of someone from this game wearing the appropriate jersey, or failing that, a relatively recent picture, would be better.
  1. B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions and alternative text:  
    • Happy face for ALT text being present! :D
  2. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  

Adding a sentence to the lead about the Dodgers overcoming the three-game deficit would also help. I always prefer a lead with at least 2 paragraphs as well, so I'd split it at "The Astros won the game" Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 06:44, 5 August 2010 (UTC)Reply


Wow, the numbering got messed up. Hah. Nosleep (Talk · Contribs) 04:27, 6 August 2010 (UTC)Reply

Add topic
Retrieved from "https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Talk:1980_National_League_West_tie-breaker_game/GA1&oldid=377424145"