Talk:1969 Progressive Conservative Party of New Brunswick leadership election/GA1

GA Review

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Nominator: B3251 (talk · contribs) 14:01, 17 June 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Sammi Brie (talk · contribs) 16:08, 10 October 2024 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Did you know? If you fancy doing so, I always have plenty of GA nominees to review. Just look for the all-uppercase titles in the Television section. Reviews always appreciated.

The article is solid. Your largest issue is quoting newspaper copy instead of actual words from newsmakers—check every quote and reduce this considerably. You also have a bit of an issue with overmentioning years. Changes are doable, though. Ping me when done. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 16:36, 10 October 2024 (UTC)

Thank you for the review, currently working on changes and will ping when finished. B3251_(talk) 18:14, 10 October 2024 (UTC)

@Sammi Brie: Done. B3251_(talk) 12:49, 15 October 2024 (UTC)

Copy changes

Lead

• Y Three other candidates, of whom only Mathilda Blanchard didn't withdraw, also sought candidacy Maybe Of three other candidates, only Mathilda Blanchard opted not to withdraw.

Background

• Y he was not only defeated in the election by Liberal leader Louis Robichaud, but also in his home electoral district of Restigouche. Remove unneeded comma
• Y MOS:LOGICAL: sentence fragments have periods or commas outside quotes, not inside.
• Y nine days later, a by-election was announced by Robichaud set for November 4, 1968, to fill the vacancy Try nine days later, Robichaud announced a by-election for November 4 to fill the vacancy
  • Y In general, you mention years too frequently when the context is apparent.
• Y Italicize The Gazette as a publication name.

Leadership convention

• Y The first five paragraphs begin with a date clause. Vary the starts of sentences here. Especially with the "On <date>", some could see this article as veering toward proseline.
• Y Hatfield did make it clear that he would seek candidacy. Try just "made" instead of "did make"
• Y Van Horne, who was in Phoenix, Arizona at the time, was There's a missing MOS:GEOCOMMA which requires a bit of punctuation reflow. Van Horne—who was in Phoenix, Arizona, at the time—was
• Y though ultimately likely decided against running Add a "they" after "though" to complete the structure of this clause.
• Y Other considered candidates at this point included Joseph MacDougall, who shortly afterwards lost his bid to retain his position of Mayor of Saint John, Leonard C. Jones, the Mayor of Moncton, the earlier-considered Creaghan, who reportedly "considered entering the race," as well as Jean-Maurice Simard. Your list members have commas in them, which demands some semicolons. Other considered candidates at this point included Joseph MacDougall, who shortly afterwards lost his bid to retain his position of Mayor of Saint John; Leonard C. Jones, the Mayor of Moncton; the earlier-considered Creaghan, who reportedly "considered entering the race"; and Jean-Maurice Simard.
• Y the upcoming convention was blacklisted by the American Federation of Musicians from allowing for work to be serviced by its members, claiming that "the party hasn't paid its bill for Don Messer and His Islanders, who played for Van Horne affairs in the 1967 campaign." Don't quote the newspaper, because this is not something the AFM said. Put it in our own words. Check the whole article for this.

Should be good now. Feel free to double-check my modification to determine whether or not it's satisfactory. B3251_(talk) 12:49, 15 October 2024 (UTC)

@B3251 Much improved, but I am not ready to pass until the remaining newspaper chunks are fixed and turned into wikivoice. I'd look at these: The upcoming convention, which was to have 1,600 Tory delegates in attendance, was now being called a "re-run of 1966", though now with more credibility towards Hatfield, who was described as "quiet-spoken and low-key", rather than Van Horne, who was described as "flamboyant and loud"; the 1966 delegates had been "persuaded that Van Horne was the only man who could beat Louis Robichaud in an election which they knew then wasn't far off".; reportedly "considered entering the race"; Hatfield "avoided personal reference" when responding,. The other quotes are either quotes of people or, in one case, a purposeful and attributed quote to the newspaper editorial. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 00:12, 16 October 2024 (UTC)

@B3251 Want to flag this as it's been more than a week and the page hasn't been edited. Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 05:21, 26 October 2024 (UTC)

@Sammi Brie Sorry for the delay, I've been mostly sidetracked by the election in my province. I'll address this ASAP. B3251_(talk) 13:39, 26 October 2024 (UTC)

Any update, @B3251? Sammi Brie (she/her • t • c) 04:05, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

Hey there, @Sammi Brie. I tried to address this the other day but had trouble with Newspapers.com working upon signing in. I’ll try again and let you know. B3251_(talk) 12:45, 3 November 2024 (UTC)

• Y The next day, Blanchard, Walker, as well as the earlier-considered MacDougall all filed for nomination "during the last hour" before the deadline. Try The next day, Blanchard, Walker, and MacDougall filed for nomination in the final hour before the deadline.
• I changed the first row of the table to a proper caption. Captions are important in tables because users with screen readers can use them to navigate an article. See MOS:DTAB.

Aftermath

• Y That same year, he appointed Van Horne as the 'Minister of Tourism' Why is this in single quotes? This gives me scare quotes vibes.

If I could guess why I put this in single quotes when writing the article, it would have to be because the "Minister of Tourism" position no longer exists in the New Brunswick government. The quotes are not necessary so I've removed them. B3251_(talk) 18:14, 10 October 2024 (UTC)

• Y going downhill when on September 25, 1984, he was Complete the appositive with a comma after "when".
• Y the following scandals that would ensue This is redundant. Try the ensuing scandals.

Sourcing and spot checks

• 8: This checks out on factual grounds but is another case of a newspaper quotation. Remedy this by putting it in our own words. Y
• 18: Checks out factually. Y
• 40: Checks out factually, but watch for newspaper quotes. Y
• 44: Checks out factually. Y
• 49: Checks out factually. Y
• 56: This is the only other list entry that goes from seats to 0 seats on the "worst defeats" list. Y

Encouragement: Since you wrote this article, the Telegraph-Journal has been loaded into Newspapers.com. You might want to take a look.

Images

The party logo is under the threshold of originality. The image of Saint John is in the public domain. Encouragement (not necessary for GA status): Add descriptive alt text for accessibility.