Talk:1346/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by Malleus Fatuorum in topic GA Review
GA Review
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- There are two broken links. [1]
- A couple of links need to be disambiguated, as its not clear what they're referring to:
- Aegean
- Rhodope
- Some of the prose needs attention:
- "In the realm of technology, firearms made their way to Northern Germany in this year in the city of Aachen ...". Not sure what this means; via the city of Aachen? From where?
- "Worse yet, Charles backed the wrong side in the Hundred Years' War, losing his father and many of his best knights at the Battle of Crécy in August 1346 ...". "Worse yet" seems to imply a pov.
- "The Danish dominions in were sold for 10 000 marks ...". Why the space, instead of 10,000?
- "Apocaucus was killed by a crowd of his worst enemies whom he had gathered for imprisonment in one of the old palaces of Constantine. In particular, two of the Palaiologoi prisoners attacked and killed him ..." So was he killed by the crowd, or by the two prisoners?
- "On or around July 7, King Edward III crossed the English Channel to Normandy with 1,600 ships laden with supplies taxed from the populace." Not sure what "laden with supplies taxed from the populace" is trying to tell me.
- "Edward III probably decides to invade Normandy". Seems excessively vague.
- "The English gather Portsmouth." Gather at Portsmouth? Assemble a fleet at Portsmouth?
- "However, after his death the Kingdom began to decline, as the plague began ravaging the area soon after his death in this same year." This seems to imply that the plague was one of the causes of the Kingdom's decline. Is that so?
- "Many of his troops abandoned him, opening the way to his demise." Just doesn't sound right.
All in all these are fairly minor issues, and so I'm putting this article on hold. It's certainly interesting to see a developed year article for once.
--Malleus Fatuorum 04:32, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
- I went through and fixed all of these. Should be good now. Thanks for your ce, by the way. Wrad (talk) 05:07, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for that, looking good now. I think we need to say just a little bit about who Apocaucus was though. --Malleus Fatuorum 16:16, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
- Done again. Wrad (talk) 20:14, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for that, looking good now. I think we need to say just a little bit about who Apocaucus was though. --Malleus Fatuorum 16:16, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
- OK, thanks, that'll do for me. I'm listing this article as a GA now. --Malleus Fatuorum 20:34, 11 January 2009 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.