Talk:Ängelholm UFO memorial/GA1

Latest comment: 9 months ago by Mujinga in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Mujinga (talk · contribs) 18:22, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Hi I'll take this on as part of the August 2023 GAN Backlog Drive. Mujinga (talk) 18:22, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Many thanks! It took me a while to track down all the sources for this one. Feel free to ask if you need assistance finding anything to verify. Rjjiii (talk) 18:33, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Great, looking forward to working on this with you :) Mujinga (talk) 19:57, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Rjjiii I was basically at the point of putting the review on hold and turning it back to you, since you are already here I'll just say I'm interested to hear your responses on the spotchecks and may need to do more, but hope we can get this to good article if you have time/energy for it. Cheers, Mujinga (talk) 20:50, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Mujinga: Thanks for all the feedback. I've responded to source checks, and will check out the other sections.Rjjiii (talk) 21:30, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Mujinga: I've responded to the prose and other concerns. Regarding the sign citation, if that's a deal-breaker then I'll remove that line. I was able to find reliable sources that say Carlsson claims they dug an alien's grave, photos of the sign, goofy UFO sites that mention it, and an unreliable tourism site that mentions it. I can't track down a reliable source though that goes into any detail on the area's peripheral signs. Regards, Rjjiii (talk) 04:40, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Nice work, I see the article improving and I've made some replies, so back to you Mujinga (talk) 17:59, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
ps put the review onhold as we work things through Mujinga (talk) 18:00, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Copyvio check edit

Earwig doesn't give hits, but most sources are in foreign languages, so I'll keep my eyes peeled for close paraphrasing

I've been trying to do excerpts here because I think that's more manageable but for most of the Swedish sources, I have Swedish and English translations in a big messy text file. Earwig let's you run an article here against any URL, so if you have a place to temporarily host it, I could email you the concatenated text. If you're interested, just let me know, and I'll send it, Rjjiii (talk) 04:29, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Thanks, I think that's not necessary at this stage but I might still do a few more spotchecks Mujinga (talk) 17:59, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Spotchecks and referencing edit

On this version

  • Thanks for adding swedish quotes in the references, that's great for checking stuff!
  • 3 lacks publication info
  • 8 spotcheck - After the interview, Semitjov sent the purportedly discarded quartz to the mineralogical department at Stockholm University. Semitjov did not disclose the provenance of the quartz to the researchers, who found it to be completely mundane.[8]: 219 - hmm yes can't get hold of this source. do you have it as a pdf or could write down the sentence(s) these claims are based on from p219? thanks!
  • Yes. I also updated the citation, because I realize that he most directly cites the university on 221. On 219, it begins, "- Här hittade jag den där saken som flickan hade kastat. - Vad var det? - En kort stav av ljust graviolett kvarts. Fyrkantig, 4 centimeter tjock, 7 centimeter lang. Den var bränd eller smält i ena änden. [- Here I found that thing that the girl had thrown away. - What was that? - A short rod of light graviolite quartz. Square, 4 centimeters thick, 7 centimeters long. It was burnt or melted at one end.]" And the clearest version of the conclusion on 221 is, "Att hela föremalet är homogent till sin sammansättning visar att ingen del varit uppsmält och hastigt avkyld. Kvarts, kemisk formel SiO2, är den mest förekommande oxiden och ett av jordskorpans vanligaste mineral. Utlátander är undertecknat: Thom Bergh, fil.kand.
    Ett av jordskorpans vanligaste mineral... [That the entire object is homogeneous in its composition shows that no part has been melted and quickly cooled. Quartz, chemical formula SiO2, is the most abundant oxide and one of the most common minerals in the earth's crust. Statements are signed: Thom Bergh, Ph.D.
    One of the most common minerals in the earth's crust...]
    " I thought posting excerpts would be easiest, but can send transcribed pages as well if you need them.Rjjiii (talk) 20:32, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • yeah that works, thanks! so 8 is verified successfully Mujinga (talk) 20:39, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • 9 spotcheck - According to Svahn, there was no convincing evidence that the event occurred as described by Carlsson. Svahn has described typical alien abductions as "stories [that] originate in inner experiences rather than in an external, physical reality" ("berättelserna har sitt ursprung i inre upplevelser snarare än i en yttre, fysisk verklighet"). - here i think the swedish would be better in a quotation in the citation. however, i also wonder what makes http://www.ufo.se a reliable source? and svahn appears to have written parts of this but has he written this bit? the quote is backed by source
  • That's a valid question. The page lists Svahn as "Ansvarig [responsible]" not as the author, and some responses do seem to be written by an editor, assistant, or colleague. The reason I am interpreting that passage as from Svahn, is the line, "Själv skulle jag önska att psykologer, sociologer och hjärnforskare skulle undersöka dessa upplevelser eftersom det i flera fall finns tecken på att berättelserna har sitt ursprung i inre upplevelser snarare än i en yttre, fysisk verklighet." begins with "Själv skulle" meaning "personally" or "in my opinion" which would not make sense from an anonymous assistant. Regarding reliability, Svahn was president of that organization and I realize that in North America, ufology is associated with the occult but UFO-Sverige is not a part of the same cultural tradition. Their role overlaps in some ways with the skeptical ufo debunking groups in the US. This article gives kind of an overview of both Svahn and UFO-Sverige: https://www.smp.se/barnens-comet/ufo-detektiverna-rycker-ut/ Rjjiii (talk) 21:27, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • ok so there's a few things here. if we can't be sure Svahn wrote the specific segment (as in his name is directly on it), I think we should just delete his name from the reference. that's one thing, another is whether the source is reliable - does it have an editorial collective? i couldn't find one but may have missed it. I have an open mind on ufology otherwise I prob wouldn't be reviewing this, but sources across the board should be reliable on wikistandards - as I'm sure you agree. You could def make the case that Svahn is a subject area expert (especially with the quote you have supplied below), but if we aren't sure he wrote this then that doesn't apply, then the question is how reliable is this source. Mujinga (talk) 17:57, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Mujinga (talk) 17:42, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
      Done I have moved away from that source. Here is a bit from the newspaper article cited now, "Svahn ägnade själv exempelvis åtta år åt att samla material till och skriva Gösta ”Pollenkungen” Carlssons biografi. Receptet till den pollenmedicin som gjorde honom till miljonär, och gav honom möjligheten att göra Rögle till Sveriges första professionella hockeylag, påstod han sig fått från några utomjordingar som landat i en glänta utanför Ängelholm. De hundratals timmarna bandade intervjuer resulterade i boken Mötet i gläntan (1995), som blev en storsäljare. Åtminstone i Ängelholm. Att Carlsson någonsin träffade några aliens tror inte Svahn. [Svahn himself, for example, spent eight years collecting material for and writing Gösta "Pollenkungen" Carlsson's biography. The recipe for the pollen medicine that made him a millionaire, and gave him the opportunity to make Rögle Sweden's first professional hockey team, he claimed to have received from some aliens who landed in a clearing outside Ängelholm. The hundreds of hours of taped interviews resulted in the book Mötet i gläntan (1995), which became a bestseller. At least in Ängelholm. Svahn does not believe that Carlsson ever met any aliens.]" And I've changed the article's text to, "After years of research and over a hundred hours of interviews, Svahn came away disbelieving the encounter,[11] but not doubting Carlsson's conviction." This is a little less clear but also leaning on a higher quality source than what is a kind of online press release. Rjjiii (talk) 05:27, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • 11 spotcheck - Carlsson both maintained that the events occurred and acknowledged that they might sound like dreams to others. He additionally connected the Kronoskogen encounter to subsequent fainting spells, nightmares, and feeling as if his skull were an overloaded radio receiver - quote is backed by source, please use double apostrophes. 11 is the same as 8, so I'm wondering why you gave a quote here and not on the other mentions? the quoted source backs some stuff but not "Carlsson both maintained that the events occurred and acknowledged that they might sound like dreams to others" and not "fainting spells"
  • I used a quote for citation only because Carlsson's description was somewhat fantastical. I don't think the quote is relevant to the places where I cited 8[page], and if it seems confusing there, I can just cite that passage minus the quote. For dreams, there is on 222: "-Folk kommer väl att säga att jag har drömt allt det här, säger Gösta Carlsson. Men jag kan gá ed pá att det var verklighet. [- People will probably say that I have dreamed all this, says Gösta Carlsson. But I can swear it was real.]" and on 225: "- Jag vet inte om de här drömmarna har nágon som helst betydelse, om de bara är inbillning och nonsens, säger Gösta Carlsson. Kanske är det bara min fantasi som har lekt vidare i sömnen - som en följd av mötet med den underliga farkosten i skogsgläntan. [- I don't know if these dreams have any meaning, if they are just imagination and nonsense, says Gösta Carlsson. Perhaps it is only my imagination that has played on in my sleep - as a result of the encounter with the strange craft in the forest clearing.]". And for fainting spells, there is on 224: "Det gick väl nästan att ár innan samma sak hände pá nytt. En kväll, just när jag gled in i sömnen, bördjade jag urskilja den svarta "bälgkameran". Egendomligt nog kom jag ihág min föresats att försöka vakna. Halvvaken och yr satte jag mig upp i sängen. Jag kände en brännande törst och gick ut i köket för att dricka ett glas vatten. I samma stund som jag skulle vrida pá kranen svimmade jag, föll baklänges och slogy högra axeln i väggen. Min fru som vaknat av dunsen kom för att hjälpa mig upp. Men jag kunde inte vakna helt. Jag svimmade för andra gángen och blev hängande över trappräcket. [It was almost a year before the same thing happened again. One evening, just as I was drifting off to sleep, I began to make out the black "bellows camera". Oddly enough, I remembered my intention to try to wake up. Half awake and dizzy, I sat up in bed. I felt a burning thirst and went into the kitchen to drink a glass of water. At the same moment that I was going to turn the faucet, I fainted, fell backwards and hit my right shoulder on the wall. My wife, who had woken up from the thud, came to help me up. But I couldn't fully wake up. I passed out for the second time and ended up hanging over the banister.]"
  • Oh I see, I was taking it as the quote given backing the information, which it doesn't. Rather than removing it, I'd say best case would be to add the quotes backing what is said in the article, if that's possible. Mujinga (talk) 17:42, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Not done I've removed the quote from the citation in case it gives other folks the wrong idea. I would have to put too much quoted material into the citation to cover the whole range to the point that there would be a single citation with paragraphs of quoted/translated material which would be an issue. Rjjiii (talk) 03:53, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
That's cool I see what you mean - so now the issue is that it's all ref9 which is fine, but half the refs have page citations, half not (and I'd rather they all did than none for verifiability checking) Mujinga (talk) 13:14, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Done Some of these end up with kind of awkard page ranges in the footnote, but they have page numbers now. One citation was for Carlsson's description but when looking up the page number I realized that I had a more appropriate source, so I switched that one rather than adding a page number. Rjjiii (talk) 02:36, 9 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • 15 spotcheck - Guided tours began hiking to the area in 1996, the 50th anniversary of Carlsson's reported sighting, and the year after Mötet i gläntan was published. Swedish actress and former tour guide Catherine Jeppsson [sv] said that the story was appealing because Carlsson "wasn't just anyone, and the fact that he also claimed that he had the aliens to thank for everything didn't make the story any worse".[15] - checked, ok except for "and the year after Mötet i gläntan was published" - I don't see that, but i also can't get past the paywall
  • That is just math from 1995–1996. I can remove that bit if it is a stretch. The article emphasizes not the book, but the kind of celebration that comes in the book's wake. The 1996 events though, I don't think I can really work into the article. The line from the article: "1996 gav Gösta Carlsson tillåtelse till att visa upp de här föremålen. De visades bakom pansarglas på banken, berättar Rita Aatola Olsson." presents them in a way that seems too accepting of their validity which is contradicted by many other sources.Rjjiii (talk) 21:05, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Disregard that. One of the newspaper sources that I didn't use kind of covers the same ground. It's not about tours, but gives more context for the 1996 events mentioned by the sources that do mention tours. I've pushed the bit about the book into a separate sentence and added the source. Here are some excerpts via machine translation:
  • Artifacts and anniversary: "Carlsson shows for the first time the staff and the ring the hand claims to have received from aliens exactly 50 years ago."
  • Behind glass: "In a glass display case guarded by two Securitas guards is the staff ..."
  • National meeting: "The display of Gösta Carlsson's mythical ring and rod is made in connection with the National Organization UFO-Sweden holding a national meeting in Ängelholm for two days."
  • Svahn: "Clas Svahn, chairman of UFO-Sweden, says that the purpose of the organization is to critically examine the UFO phenomenon. " We have no favorite hypothesis..."
  • His book: "Clas Svahn is probably the person who has studied Gösta Carlsson's history the most. A couple of years ago, he wrote a book about the incident. In connection with this work, he read pretty much everything that had ever been written about the "Pollen King" and had many long conversations with him.
And a link to a scan from the newspaper: http://galactic.no/rune/rymdstav_visas96.pdf Rjjiii (talk) 02:14, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Done Expanded and moved to another sentence with a more clear source. Rjjiii (talk) 03:52, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • 12 spotcheck - A plaque beside a nearby pit claims the ship's crew used it as a temporary grave.[12] - this goes to Gravplats [Graves] (on-site plaque) (in Swedish). Ängelholm, Sweden: pollenkungen.se. I denna grop begravdes tillfälligt tvá döda besättningsmän medan det skedade rymdskeppet reparerades. [Two dead crew members were temporarily buried in this pit meanwhile the spaceship was repaired.] which isn't a citation as such. the information in the article thus needs to be cited. also how does this interact with the caption that says the plaque reads "A UFO landed and took off at this lo­ca­tion on May 18, 1946. All cement markings are cast ex­act­ly ac­cord­ing to ex­ist­ing im­pres­sions in the ground and ac­cord­ing to the di­men­sion­al sketch, which an eye­witness to the event drew up on May 19, 1946. Vegeholm 1–9 1972. Gösta Carlsson"? I'd also suggest replacing meanwhile with while
  • ah ok, again several things going on here. so the plaque is a different one to the one pictured. as regards citing textual elements of a public monument that's an interesting question, I would prefer a source that can be referred to so that the information can be verified - otherwise I'd argue someone could come along and add some nonsense. happy to keep discussing this. Mujinga (talk) 17:46, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Done I'm leaving this out for now. I can see the potential issue with citing the sign, but so far I haven't found a reliable source that discusses the "graves". Rjjiii (talk) 03:51, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
shame but that's the best option I think Mujinga (talk) 13:12, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Images edit

  • Images are all appropriately licensed and relevant. Would be great if you could add alt descriptions to the two that don't have them.
  • I think they now all have alt text.Rjjiii (talk) 21:35, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Done Mujinga (talk) 17:49, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Article status edit

  • There's a navbox but this article isn't in it?
Added to navbox.   Done Rjjiii (talk) 03:49, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Article is stable, focused, neutral (which is I'm sure quite hard on a topic like this)

Prose edit

  • "the herbal medicine company Cernelle AB" - is AB necessary?
  • "converted a former Cernelle warehouse into an arena" - an arena for the ice hockey club?
  • "Their bee pollen extracts made Carlsson a millionaire" - suggest "Sales of its bee pollen extracts made him a millionaire"
  • "Carlsson attributed his success to a May 1946 encounter with a UFO in the woods near Ängelholm" - link to UFO
:*   Done Rjjiii (talk) 03:46, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Also around this point I'd suggest adding info from 15, which says Carlsson had dreams which helped him with his business
  • "In 1995, Swedish ufologist Clas Svahn wrote a book with Carlsson about the incident, Mötet i gläntan (The meeting in the clearing)" - italicise english title
  • Swedish historian Dick Harrison characterized Carlsson's narrative as "alleged but not proven".[5] - if you've given the swedish for a quote just above, then you should do here as well for consistency
  • The monument is Swedish National Heritage Board heritage site number RAÄ Strövelstorp 47:1.[13][14] - do we need heritage x2? also in lead
  • "As of 2015, Ängelholm Municipality maintains the privately-owned site. In a 2015 initiative, workers cleared encroaching plants, replaced rotten wood benches, and repaired the cement paths on the forest floor.[18]" - so who is the private owner - Carlsson presumably? This for me is an important detail. And who paid for it, if that is someone else. Also suggest "maintained"
  • "maintained"   Not done, rest discussed below Mujinga (talk) 17:53, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
"Maintained" seems to imply that this is no longer the case which a source from the past couldn't say? Rjjiii (talk) 03:49, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
I see your perspective here. It's not a huge deal, to explain my view I just think it's better to say "In 2015 it was being maintained" (a firm sourced fact) than "As of 2015" - a statement which is 2023 we don't know is true or false. Mujinga (talk) 13:17, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Done maybe, I rephrased it as, "A 2015 initiative allowed Ängelholm Municipality to maintain the privately-owned site. Workers cleared encroaching plants, replaced rotten wood benches, and repaired the cement paths on the forest floor." This puts it into the past tense, but hopefully has less of an implication about the current situation. Rjjiii (talk) 02:34, 9 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
an elegant solution Mujinga (talk) 13:08, 10 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Doing lead last as always:
  • Use Gösta Carlsson [sv] as in body
  • "who attributed his success to a 1946 UFO encounter at the site." - suggest "who attributed his success in life to encountering a UFO in 1946" or similar
  • "The memorial, erected in 1972, is maintained by the local government." - might as well link Ängelholm Municipality as in body

I've addressed these except for "who is the private owner" and "I'd suggest adding info from 15". I'll take a look at those later. I know that Carlsson would not have been the owner when that article was written, so I need to look around and find out if there is reliable info on who does own the area and what their relationship is with Carlsson and his estate.Rjjiii (talk) 21:49, 6 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Regarding maintenance: According to Arbetet (1972), Erik von Geijer was the owner then. I've come across things online that associate this guy with the nearby Vegeholm castle (which would explain why a few 1970s sources go out of their way to connect the place to Vegeholm). This isn't a usable source for a Wikipedia article, but, if accurate, Geijer died in 1998: https://www.geni.com/people/Erik-von-Geijer/6000000015901456752
The article about tourism just mentions "the landowner who gave the go-ahead for renovation" but not a name. Regarding payment, the article doesn't specify. It does imply that some work was volunteered, "Since there is no money set aside for the clearing work, the work must be done when there is time." It also says that "Resurscenter [] took care of the work" and it cites "Erika Lennartsson, supervisor for operations at Ängelholm municipality", so it's clear that the municipality is doing the work, but not explicit who is paying for it and how.
Carlsson's estate appears to be connected the monument, but I couldn't give specifics. Rjjiii (talk) 03:37, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
OK thanks for the replies - if you wouldn't mind marking things   Done or   Not done that'd be helpful for me as I go through. On the ownership of the land thing, if you have looked into it and can't find a decisive answer, that's of course fine, you can only go on the sources available. I'll reply on other things above. Mujinga (talk) 17:36, 7 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
@Mujinga: I think I've addressed everything now. I removed the grave marker bit. Maybe I'll find a better source but for now it can stay out. I already had to omit the "forcefield" that was originally a part of the site but removed because it was a trip hazard as I couldn't find any reliable source for it being removed (although it clearly is no longer there).
For the UFO-Sverige reference, I switched to an analytical newspaper article. This gives a less articulate version of the disbelief but is a more reliable source (than a kind of online, semi-official press release).
Thanks for the notes so far, and feel free to check anything else or ask any questions. Regards, Rjjiii (talk) 05:35, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Nice one, this is coming along well. The only open issue above for me now is the ref9 page number issue. I'll want to do another readthorugh and a few more spotchecks, hopefully I can get to that later today or tomorrow. Mujinga (talk) 13:19, 8 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Thanks Mujinga, I have added page numbers and tried rephrasing that one passage. Rjjiii (talk) 02:37, 9 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Sorry work is busier than expected today, so I'll come back on this tomorrow. The rephrase looks good! Mujinga (talk) 16:24, 9 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
OK I've done another read-through on this version and I think we are pretty much there now. The only request I have is that you give the quoted text in the footnotes when you use a direct quotation. Right now that's inconsistent because you do that for 5 and 10 but not for "the driver [...] speaks to me. I don't know if it's words or thoughts I perceive" (yes would need a different reference than 9, but that's ok, same ref but with the quote is fine by me) and "became a part of [Carlsson's] reality". Mujinga (talk) 13:12, 10 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
I added the original Swedish and the full English translation for the reality quote citation. Rjjiii (talk) 19:21, 10 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  Done The other quote is there, it's in the {{rp}} hover text. This is (perhaps obviously) not great for usability but makes the citations more uniform. Rjjiii (talk) 19:30, 10 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Oh that's the first time I see that! Yeah in terms of consistency across quotations perhaps it's not great but you have supplied the original quote and if people needed to find it then I suppose they would. Nice one on the GA! And happy editing :) Mujinga (talk) 20:34, 10 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Final note - I plopped it in World history because that seemed a better fit than Culture, sociology and psychology category but feel free to move it if you want. Mujinga (talk) 20:49, 10 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.