Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Francis Nash
- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
Article promoted Hawkeye7 (talk) 12:04, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Francis Nash edit
My third request for A-Class review in the series of North Carolina's Continental Army generals with which I'm currently preoccupied, Nash was a relatively obscure gentleman who became most notable for holding the distinction of being the highest-ranking (American) officer to die at (or because of wounds received in) the Battle of Germantown (A British brigadier - James Agnew - also lost his life there). Several North Carolina locations and (most notably) Nashville, TN are named in his honor. Thanks for taking a look! Cdtew (talk) 19:57, 23 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Support: I made a few minor tweaks, but it generally looks good to me. I have the following observations:
- "colonial Assembly" or "Colonial Assembly"?
- I've chosen to use "colonial Assembly" because "colonial" is just an adjective that's not part of the name of that body. Most RS decide to use the term "Assembly" or "General Assembly", and the body's official name was the "North Carolina General Assembly", which is coincidentally the same name that body had post-1776, and still retains. So, in order to keep clarity, I insert the modifier "colonial" to distinguish between the pre-1776 and post-1776 General Assemblies.
- this seems a little awkward: "prevented him from being ordered to join the main Continental Army";
- Done. - Reworded to be less awkward
- inconsistent: "North Carolina Brigade" and "North Carolina brigade";
- Done. - Given that there was no unit called the "North Carolina Brigade" (there were only units usually grouped under the same commander which all belonged to the North Carolina Line), I've uncapitalized brigade.
- image licencing and referencing seemed fine to me. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 10:57, 6 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Comments
- "Nash was made a brigadier general in 1777 upon Moore's death, and commanding the North Carolina brigade of the Continental Army under General George Washington.": and given command of?
- "These attempts failed due to sympathy for the rioters among the mustered militiamen": Maybe: but the mustered militiamen were sympathetic towards the rioters and refused
- "again in 1773–1775, he served again": repetition
- "convened several hours before the Assembly ... This triumph for the nascent Patriots resulted in Martin dissolving the Assembly.": ... After this triumph for the nascent Patriots, Martin dissolved the Assembly. - Dank (push to talk) 23:21, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- "In 1938, a historical marker was placed near Nash's home in Hillsborough commemorating his life and service. Nash's home in Hillsborough is now commemorated as the Nash-Hooper House, as it was purchased by William Hooper, a signer of the Declaration of Independence, after Nash's death.": Repetition. I'd go with: Nash's home in Hillsborough is now known as the Nash-Hooper House, as it was purchased by William Hooper, a signer of the Declaration of Independence, after Nash's death. In 1938, a historical marker was placed near the house commemorating his life and service.
- Support on prose per standard disclaimer. - Dank (push to talk) 01:05, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Support Comment - I reviewed this article for GA, and having looked at the article again with "fresh eyes" and checked the changes made since the GA review, I have just one observation to make:
- The sentence: "In April 1776, Nash and Alexander Martin were promoted to colonel to replace Moore and Robert Howe, who had each received a promotion to brigadier general." It may help to have an explicit sentence stating Nash took over Moore's command, which I assume is the case. I also don't think it is necessary to mention Martin and Howe here, as it may be considered confusing? For example, what unit was Martin in and was Howe commanding? That said, the "Philadelphia campaign" section mentions Howe, so if you opt to delete the reference to Howe in the sentence I have mentioned, you may need to clarify Howe's rank/position when he is first mentioned.
Other than that, I am generally happy that this meets A-class criteria. Zawed (talk) 23:31, 27 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- @Zawed:: Thanks for your review! I've removed the references to the two unrelated officers from that first para, and moved the Howe wikilink to the first next mention, as well as clarified rank. Let me know if you see anything else I need to take a look at! Cdtew (talk) 04:20, 28 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]
- The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.