Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Rurouni Kenshin chapters/archive1

List of Rurouni Kenshin chapters

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for July 2009.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because in order to what parts from this list need to be fixed. I'm a bit concerned about the summaries' length and it would be good if someone can copy-edit this article.

Thanks, Tintor2 (talk) 16:33, 1 July 2009 (UTC)

Note: Peer review regulations require articles to be free of major cleanup banners. This article has one, adting from December 2008, relating to prose and grammar. Efforts should be made to resolve these issues before the article is presented for review. Have you tried asking a friendly editor to copyedit? Brianboulton (talk) 18:44, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

I wrote the summaries a lot of time before the peer review's start and I have been revising them prior to this. I don't if the summaries are still in a bad shape, so I did not remove the tag.Tintor2 (talk) 19:37, 11 July 2009 (UTC)

My only question is, why was the 2nd volume having a different cover? I don't see any information. Has Viz commented on it?陣内_Jinnai 20:19, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

As far as I know they haven't.Tintor2 (talk) 23:29, 12 July 2009 (UTC)

Quick review: Basic grammar problems throughout really hurt this article. The clean-up tag is deserved and should remain until a thorough scrubbing of the grammar.

The lead paragraphs opening the article are a complete jumble. What's your point? I kept asking. Is this a list of chapters? A history of the magazine? A description of reprints? What happened with animation? etc. Decide what the focus of the article is to be. Summarize that focus in the lead. Move related but nonessential info to other sections.

An overall 1-2 sentence summary of the series in the lead paragraphs would be a help. If this were Moby Dick, for example, it might be 'The novel concerns a whaling expedition led by Captain Ahab, who is obsessed with capturing the albino whale called Moby Dick.' Like that. No need for lots of detail: just some context please. No I see you have this; however, it's sort of buried for my taste.

The chapter tables themselves are probably of interest to somebody (?). The layout is consistent and the information easy to grasp. The summaries seem to be of a consistent length and level of detail. I'm guessing that do an OK job of summarizing the main points (?). HOWEVER please, please, please review the grammar and sentence structure.

Hope this helps. --Nemonoman (talk) 14:34, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Tintor2's primary langauge is not english, some consideration and examples would be helpful. As for the lead, it's not remotely a jumble. It states what the article is, the basic synopsis, the details of the publishing in it's two "major" markets, and comments on the anime adaptions. Seems like a perfectly acceptable lead for a chapter list to me. If anything, it's a good example to others working on chapter lists. Dandy Sephy (talk) 14:47, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

I hope I have not offended Tintor by critiquing grammar (as requested). I fear I would not do so well in Japanese. I can barely cope in English.

About the lead: You asked, I opined. The lead gets no better or worse by arguing with my opinion.

Sentence topics:

1. Book and author.
2. Publication History.
3. Synopsis of series

1. Enlarging on publication history (basically enlarging on sentence 2)
2. Re-release as special edition.
3. Single chapter with new character, and where that chapeter was published.
4. More about that single chapter, and how it was added to the re-release
5. Some parts animated
6. Other parts animated

1. Viz media english version
2. Viz media changes to monthly issue
3. After changing to monthly, volumes issued each month,
4. That single chapter? That also got serialed in english.
5. Viz then did another English language reissue.

How about this arrangement

1. Book and author.
2. Synopsis of series

1. Publication History
2. Enlarging on publication history (basically enlarging on sentence 2)
3. Re-release as special edition

1. Viz media english version
2. Viz media changes to monthly issue
3. Viz then did another English language reissue

1. Some parts animated
2. Other parts animated

1. Single chapter with new character, and where that chapter was published.
2. More about that single chapter, and how it was added to the re-releas
3. That single chapter? That also got serialed in english.
   

There are many ways to skin this cat, but an arrangement like the one above provides an example of how the lead might be improved. Each new paragraph grouping allows for a single topic sentence that introduces the info to follow. Because the sentences in each group have related subjects, it is easier to expand and/or combine them.

Also, it's easier to see relevance (or lack of relevance) of this information to the List of Chapters title. For example -- what is the relevance of the "animated" information to this list of chapters. Should the table include animation info showing that a chapter was animated, and in which animated series? Should the animation sentences be deleted as not relevant to this list? Etc.

I don't care how the lead paragraphs are laid out, but when I say they are jumbled, they are jumbled. In current version you can't find a reasonable topic sentence for any paragraph. You start reading about one thing and then (surprise) jump to another topic, then (surprise) jump back. That's a jumble. --Nemonoman (talk) 18:29, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

Not offended. The arrangement looks good but WP: Lead says the maximum number of paragraphs is four.Tintor2 (talk) 21:17, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

First: Break every rule. Second: OK, so how would you collect the relevant information into four paragraphs? Could you combine the Japanese and English publication histories? (Topic sentence: the episodes appear in both Japanese and English editions.) Could you remove the animation sections, which have no further relevance in the lists? You know this subject...I don't. PS If English is your second language, you must be a genius in your first language! --Nemonoman (talk) 21:48, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

My language is very easy, (I'm finding English similar but with more rules) I ll later check how to fix rearrange this.Tintor2 (talk) 21:59, 14 July 2009 (UTC)

• Comment: Use romanji in conjunction with the chapter list and the {{nihongo}} template? Extremepro (talk) 10:09, 18 July 2009 (UTC)

• • Where can I get the romaji? The converter I use is full errors.Tintor2 (talk) 15:13, 18 July 2009 (UTC)

• • • I use romaji.org and then feed the words through Denshi Jisho to make sure I get back the right kanji & translation. —Quasirandom (talk) 03:38, 19 July 2009 (UTC)

I tried doing one for the first chapter in jisho. However, there are many spaces 流浪人·街へ行くwas translated to "rurou nin · machi he iku".Tintor2 (talk) 14:43, 19 July 2009 (UTC)