Wikipedia:Peer review/1952 Winter Olympics/archive1

1952 Winter Olympics

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to move this to FAC and need a fresh set of eyes to give input on content and prose. It follows the format of the 1956 Winter Olympics, which is FA. Another question I had was regarding a clean up tag on the image at the top of the article. It recommends uploading the image as an SVG file. Unfortunately image issues are not my strong suit and the image in question had to be modified to address a spelling error. I cannot find a correct alternative to upload in the smaller file format. Do you think this issue would disqualify it from FA consideration? Any thoughts on how to rectify it?

Thanks, H1nkles (talk) _{citius altius fortius} 22:56, 21 April 2011 (UTC)

Comments by Parutakupiu

• "Discussions about Oslo hosting a the Winter Olympic Games..."
• "... were held at Norefjell; a 113 km..." – Replace the semicolon with a comma.
• There are six instances of "Oslo" in the intro's first paragraph only. Too many, in my opinion. Also, some short sentences that kind of cut the reading flow.
• The infobox shows the participation of 694 athletes yet the intro says only 693. Which is true? Also, there is no reference to source this number.
• Shouldn't it be Bislett Stadion (capital s)?
• You've linked the names of some participating countries to their performance pages (Japan, Portugal, Germany, etc.), but you forgot to do that to the host nation.
• The "Host city selection" paragraph has too many "Oslo" again. Try to take a few out.
• In this section, you don't say anything about the competing cities, apart from listing them in the bidding results table. They were mentioned in the intro, but this is THE section to talk about them.
• "London, host of the 1948 Summer Olympics..." – Add a comma after Olympics.
• "A majority of the ice hockey tournament matches took place at..."
• "... placed second to Anderson in every race." – Andersen
• Holland → Netherlands
• 4x10 → 4 × 10
• "Norwegian athletes won the aki jumping gold medal in each Olympics from 1924 to 1952" – Fix typo (in bold), and I'd replace "each" with "every".
• "The sport would leave them behind after 1952..." – Who's "them"? I don't feel it's clear.
• "The stadium was called Jordal Amfi. It was built in a residential part of eastern Oslo." – These could (and should) be clauses of the same sentence.
• "Australia, Germany, and Japan returned, after having missed the..." – Words missing at the end of this sentence.
• The medal table shows the top 10 medalist nations, but there's only three more medal-winning nations that are not listed. Perhaps you could include them (even if this means that the separate medal table page is redundant).

Concerning the image tag issue, it would be preferable that the image has the best quality. I saw that the typo is present in the image provided by the IOC itself, so the mistake is in the source. Should we be worried about fixing it? Any correction would be a unfaithful derivative work of that logo; the solution would be to put an image of the correct logo taken from official documents... even if the quality is not the best. — Parutakupiu (talk) 22:39, 27 April 2011 (UTC)

• Thank you my friend I'll start to work on your suggestions. H1nkles (talk) _{citius altius fortius} 22:55, 27 April 2011 (UTC)

Ok all fixes have been made save the image issue. I'll see if there is an available image from the source material. If not do you think this issue would kill any FA bid? H1nkles (talk) _{citius altius fortius} 18:49, 28 April 2011 (UTC)

I think you can go ahead with what the image you have now. Parutakupiu (talk) 22:51, 28 April 2011 (UTC)

• Quick comment (more to follow) - have you asked about fixing the error and coverting the image to svg at Wikipedia:Graphic Lab? I have had a few images cleaned up there and they do great work! Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:37, 29 April 2011 (UTC)

• Huh I didn't know that existed. I've replaced it with a very crude rendering, but perhaps I should explore the image lab. Thank you for the tip! H1nkles (talk) _{citius altius fortius} 16:06, 29 April 2011 (UTC)
• I used to be a contributor there, I even made some SVG versions of Olympic logos (not to brag about, but they were good), but then I was told that those images wouldn't be acceptable because they'd always have some minor imperfections and wouldn't be a faithful carbon-copy reproduction of the original. Just telling... Parutakupiu (talk) 23:57, 29 April 2011 (UTC)

Ruhrfisch comments: Thanks for your work on this and your other PR contributions. It looks pretty good to me, here are some pretty nit-picky suggestions for improvement.

• In Host city selection, would it make sense to say that in 1936 the summer and winter games were in Berlin and Garmisch? Perhaps in a note, if not in the text iteself?
• Should there also be a mention or note that the tradition of having the summer and winter games in the same country ended with the 1936 games (at least as far as actual games)?
• Missing word? Support [for?] a Winter Olympics in Norway was mixed.[4]
• Since the order in the lead and previously has been Cortina d'Ampezzo, then Lake Placid, would it make sense to do that again here? Also mention that Lake Placid had previously hosted? So perhaps something like Cortina d'Ampezzo was selected as the host of the 1956 Games, and Lake Placid, which had hosted in 1932, would host the 1980 Winter Olympics.
• Combine these sentences to be less choppy? So something like The 1952 Winter Games were the first to be held in a nation's capital,[1] and Norway was the first Scandanavian country to host a Winter Olympics.[2]
• Tighten in Organisation? ...and four representatives from the municipality of Oslo, including the mayor Brynjulf Bull.[8] ?
• Lead says buildings were converted to house athletes, but here it says Three new facilities (forerunners to the athlete's villages of later Games) were built... - which was it?
• Missing words? The city of Oslo undertook the construction of a new hotel, the Viking, which was used for IOC delegates, out-of-town dignitaries, [and as?] the communication hub of the Games.[12][13]
• Would "reluctant" be a better word than "reticent" in Norway was reticent to welcome German athletes and Nazi sympathizers back into the Olympic fold.[17] I think of reticent as reluctant to speak or communicate, not reluctant in general
• The preceding paragraph already described the German team, so not needed in Despite its concerns Norway agreed to allow both German (represented only by West German athletes), and Japanese athletes to compete.[17]
• Would it make sense to move the image of Bislett Stadion from Venues up to Opening ceremony? There are three sections without images here, and Venues has two images currently
• Tighten? The final torch bearer, Eigil Nansen, received the Olympic flame and skied to a set of stairs where he removed his skis, ascended the stairs, and ignited the flame.[27]
• In Ice hockey, since modern readers are used to national teams I would explain the Edmonton Mercurys in a sentence or two (I know they are mentioned in the caption, but I expected there to be some explanation in the body of the article)
• In Speed skating, the sentence Dutch skaters Wim van der Voort and Kees Broekman placed second to Andersen in every race.[37] is confusing and false (since Andersen did not place first in one race, where an American won gold). Perhaps something like Dutch skaters Kees Broekman and Wim van der Voort won two and one silver medals, respectively, behind Andersen.[37] If the silver medalists are mentioned, would it make sense to mention the other gold medalist?
• In Alpine skiing make Schneider's nationality clearer, perhaps by Austrian skiers dominated the competition winning seven out of a possible eighteen medals, including Othmar Schneider's gold and silver in the men's slalom and downhill. Norwegian Stein Eriksen won gold in the men's giant slalom and silver in the slalom.
• MOS says to give both metric and English units, so give distances in km and miles in Cross-country skiing. {{convert}} works nicely for this.
• Perhaps add to the caption Nils Karlsson skiing at the 1952 Winter Games mention something like he did not repeat his gold medal from 1948
• Avoid overlinking - Holmenkollbakken is linked twice in two consecutive section
• Did computers really "judge" or did they just do the math based on human judges' scores? This marked the first time computers were used to judge the competition and tabulate scores instantly.[1]
• Crop File:Dick Button gold medal.jpg to foucs more on the medal? Also is the medal a copyrighted work (of art)?
• Has Bandy ever been played again at the Olympics? Might be worth mentioning if it has or has not.
• Say when the last athletic event was too? They took place on Monday evening, 25 February, in Bislett Stadion.[66]
• Spelling? Enticed? Also is enticed the best word here? Perhaps "encouraged" or even just "asked"? The organising committee inticed the city of Oslo to provide a similar flag in order to establish the same tradition for the Winter Games.
• I made a few copyedits too
• Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 05:26, 30 April 2011 (UTC)