Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/May Revolution/archive7

The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Ian Rose 17:19, 3 November 2012 [1].

May Revolution edit

Nominator(s): Cambalachero (talk) 01:17, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because it is a key event in the history of Argentina, and I have worked a lot with it. I worked first with Argentine books, as those made the most comprehensive study of this topic (not surprising), but I checked some books in English as well. I have also trimmed down some parts to related articles, but trying to keep this as an article that could be understood on its own, having in mind that most readers from outside Argentina or even South America are unlikely to have even a clue on who were this people or the events described.

All the issues pointed during the previous nominations were addressed by then. This article has been promoted to A-Class by the Military History wikiproject. Cambalachero (talk) 01:17, 7 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Image review: Great images, respect Wikipedia policies and are correctly used. Just a few things related to positioning. File:Declaration independence.jpg could either be pushed a line or two up or the heading 'National causes' be written with a gap between the two sections. The heading pushed to right does not look so good. Same with File:Carlota Joaquina por Manuel António de Castro.jpg and File:Mariano Moreno en su mesa de trabajo.jpg

Article review: Much detailed and well-composed article. My comments:

Could the lead be a bit more summarized and trimmed? If possible, the causes and sequence of the events during the Revolution could be made into a paragraph, and the results discussed in the next.
In the lead Viceroy Cisneros tried to conceal ... open cabildo (an extraordinary meeting of notables of the city) In what way was it extraordinary? (You see, it seems a bit too strong a word to use without explanation.)

That is what I have for now. Will read more to find more suggestions. Overall, good for FAC push, nice way of guiding the reader through the long and complicated series of events and no worries about verifiability. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 13:23, 9 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

My monitor is usually set at 1024x768, and in the highest resolution I can get (which is not much, my video card has burned and imports are forbidden in my country, so I have to live with what the onboard video allows me) I still don't see the images disrupting the section titles below them. I will have to ask you if you can fix that, because with my current hardware I can't notice the problem. I have removed or reduced some sentences of the lead; not much, because the lead s supposed to work as a "mini article", and don't want to risk making it hard to understand. As for the open cabildo, "extraordinary" is not meant with the sense "of great quality" but with the sense "out of the routine". Open cabildos were not called on a regular basis (such as monthly or annually), only when some grave event required it; such as in this case. I looked up for synonyms of "extraordinary", but they are either synonyms of the wrong meaning, do ot work for this case, or have the same problem. I guess we should leave to interpretation by context: being a government meeting, and not a creative work (the usual recipients of such praise), it should be implict what "extraordinary" means. Cambalachero (talk) 02:44, 10 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, the lead. I think now it is well for such a long and detailed article, no more problems I noticed. I have fixed the images now, they will look proper on normal computer screens now. As for extraordinary, perhaps uncommon would do. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 12:55, 11 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

I have fixed the details requested. Do you have any further requests? Cambalachero (talk) 04:15, 28 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Support, though not so much on prose. My comments are addressed, and the article satisfies me greatly. I rarely come to military-related articles, but I am certain this is fit for being an FA. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 07:03, 28 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Addressed comments from Crisco 1492 moved to talk page

Support on prose. Looks like a solid article. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 03:25, 28 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

"A law enacted in 1778 required to move the treasury to a safe place in the case of foreign attack, but Sobremonte was still seen as a coward by the population" -> this seems off to me; surely there should be a subject between "required" and "to move"?
"This was an unprecedented action, the first time that a Spanish viceroy was deposed by local government institutions, and not by the King of Spain himself.[43] But King Charles IV ratified the appointment later.[44]" -> I don't think this needs to be broken into two sentences, especially one beginning with a conjunctive.
"de Elío created a Junta in Montevideo" -> I believe in this sense, junta is not a proper noun (the pipe points to "Junta of Montevideo", which would be a proper noun, but "a Junta" should just be "a junta".
Might be worth an aside to explain what an afrancesado is.
Any particular reason why "May Week" (an event) is italicised? If you need to create a separation, try quotes instead ("May Week" rather than May Week).
"The "Café de Catalanes" and the "Fonda de las Naciones"" -> don't see why these are italicised and quoted; just the former would work.
Just picking this up now; there seems to be some disparity between whether loanwords are italicised or not. Phrases like "cabildo", "alcalde", etc aren't, but "afrancesado" is; I don't mind which is used so long as it's consistent throughout, it would seem easiest to leave them unitalicised as this means the least amount of changes.
Seeing several duplicate links here; try using User:Ucucha/duplinks to spot these.
"That night, many of the revolutionaries attended to a theatre production on the theme of tyranny, called Rome Saved" -> attended to, or attended? Prose seems to suggest just the latter.
"At 3 pm, the Cabildo began its routine work" -> why has this now become a proper noun? I get the sense that it's being used as synecdoche for the powers-that-be, much like "Westminister", "Stormount" or "the White House" might be, but this isn't made readily apparent.
"criollo-Spanish unity." -> should be an en dash, not a hyphen
Stopping for now; it's seven in the morning and I should go to bed. Have reviewed up to, but not including, "Wednesday, May 23"; I'm impressed with the depth of detail and the existence and deployment of other suitable links (causes of, Carlotism, etc) show that this size isn't simply a coat-rack situation, but is suitably researched. As such I can't see myself having much in the way of non-prose concerns but I'll not come down either side til I'm actually finished here (I may be rambling as I'm quite knackered) GRAPPLE X 06:11, 22 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Resuming

"Thus the Primera Junta came into being." -> Not sure I'm keen on a new paragraph beginning with "thus"; it seems too reliant on there being a previous sentence to stand alone.
Have to agree with Crisco that a heading of bullets for the Primera Junta's make-up seems unnecessary; another sentence or two in the previous section could cover this
"To put an end to these activities, the Junta assembled Cisneros and all the members of the Royal Audiencia on the pretext that their lives were in danger, and shipped them into exile aboard the British ship Dart." -> repetition of "ship", try another verb instead of "shipped them"
"The ruse is known as the "Mask of Ferdinand VII"" -> again, I don't think should be italicised and quoted, one or the other (the latter, probably) is enough

I'd say that's all the prose concerns I have. GRAPPLE X 18:17, 22 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done. The repeated links have been adressed in the past, have in mind that most of them are repeated with the links at the image captions, section "main article" or "see also" hatnotes, or the navboxes at the bottom. The rule of not repeating links applies only to the prose. Cambalachero (talk) 03:03, 24 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

There's still a good few linked several times in the prose; the tool linked above will only count the prose section and ignores the lead as well so it won't throw up false positives. I'd advise you use it as it's easier than checking manually, but to get you started, Antonio Beruti, Cornelio Saavedra, Juan José Paso and Mariano Moreno are repeatedly linked in the prose. GRAPPLE X 03:08, 24 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Cambalachero (talk) 23:06, 27 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Culled out the last few myself but it looks good enough to me now. Support. GRAPPLE X 23:35, 28 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Delegate notes

The Advisor.js script returns a bad checksum for Mariano Moreno's ISBN -- could you double check the digits?
I'd expect to see the Aftermath section end with a citation, as others do. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:14, 3 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]
- Done. Yes, the ISBN is exactly as it is written in the book. Cambalachero (talk) 15:14, 3 November 2012 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.