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Template:Did you know nominations/Cinema of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Monique Mbeka Phoba

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The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Rcsprinter (Gimme a message) 13:21, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

Cinema of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Monique Mbeka Phoba edit

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Created/expanded by Aymatth (talk). Nominated by Dr. Blofeld (talk) at 22:12, 20 March 2012 (UTC)

  • The cinema article's date, length and sourcing are OK and there are no plagiarism/copyvio issues that I can see. The length, date and sourcing for Monique Mbeka Phoba are also OK, but there are one or two places where the paraphrasing is too close, even though the original is in French e.g. "Le film est centré sur les Léopards, l’équipe nationale congolaise qui, en 1974, avait été la première équipe d’Afrique noire à participer à une Coupe du Monde de la FIFA" in the original source and "The film centers on the Leopards, the Congolese national team in 1974, which was the first black African team to participate in a FIFA World Cup." in the article. Also the hook is not exactly supported by the source which says that "For now the production is fully dependent on filmmakers living and working abroad", which isn't quite the same thing, although it rather implies it. Perhaps adding 'active' before filmmakers would work. Mikenorton (talk) 19:33, 1 April 2012 (UTC)
  • I tweaked the wording - think it is fixed. I suggest the shorter ALT that follows. Aymatth2 (talk) 02:06, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
ALT1 ... that most active filmmakers of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, such as Monique Mbeka Phoba, live and work abroad?
  • Thanks, I think that works. Mikenorton (talk) 07:04, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
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