Talk:USS Thetis Bay

Latest comment: 2 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:USS Thetis Bay/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 12:55, 4 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


Comments

  • "painted in Measure 33, Design 10A camouflage" isn't mentioned in the article or referenced here.
  • Changes in camouflage aren't usually recorded, and I think that it provides some useful context when viewing the image.
  • "mythology.[3] The" always seems odd to cite just one fact in a lead. This should be mentioned in the main body so just reference it there.
  • "the Nereid Thetis" mildly troubling sea of blue issue here, especially if you don't (and many won't) know what Nereid means.
  • "The bay is .." we've somewhat lost this in the previous lengthy sentence.
  • "The ship was launched in March..." similar, perhaps we can say "Thetis Bay was launched..."
  • Both addressed by moving the naming part down.
  • "in Operation Magic Carpet" no need for a pipelink.
  • "early war losses" would that be "early-war losses"?
  • "1 Battle star" -> "1 battle star".
  • "Washington under" comma after Washington.
  • Yeah, the naming details belong here, not in the lead. Or at least in both place, not exclusively the lead.
  • Year ranges in service record in infobox should use en-dash not hyphen to separate.
  • Some text sandwiching going on where you have images both left and right of text.
  • "Luzon, the Philippines throughout" comma after Philippines.
  • " a Landing Platform Helicopter" why is that capitalised?
  • "In August 1959, Thetis Bay" too many run-ons and I'm not sure the grammar works at the end...
  • "anchored off of" no need for of.
  • "from the Navy list on" any reason we can't give it the full official name?
  • Ref 10, I have to subscribe to see this.
  • Fix text size of External links et seq.

That's all I have for now. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 19:41, 5 September 2021 (UTC)Reply