Talk:Ralph Shortey

Latest comment: 5 years ago by AlphaKGN in topic Improvising lead section

"being" edit

What was Shortey doing while he was "being" in the hotel with the underage boy? 173.88.241.33 (talk) 01:58, 16 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

Confusion about working for the Trump campaign edit

A user linked a rawstory.com article about Sen. Shortey being a member of the Trump campaign in Oklahoma. After reviewing the sources and doing additional research, I removed this statement. Sen Shortey appeared to have claimed to have been tapped as a chairman of the Trump campaign. However, after further review, Trump's campaign press release only mentions him as having endorsed Trump. The press release says nothing about Shortey being on the campaign.[1]

  • I found a source which said there were six people who had been named in the press as being Trump's chair in OK. And it could not determine who was the chair. Abductive (reasoning) 05:08, 16 March 2017 (UTC)Reply
  1. ^ "DONALD J. TRUMP ANNOUNCES STATEWIDE LEADERSHIP TEAM IN OKLAHOMA". www.donaldjtrump.com. Retrieved 2017-03-16.

Gay edit

Why is this article locked? Is some homophobic Republican trying to stop honest editing of the article, which would include Shortley's repressed homosexuality? — Preceding unsigned comment added by 137.122.64.8 (talk) 02:41, 11 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Infobox edit

This article needs an infobox, if anybody feels like doing it. Abductive (reasoning) 05:10, 16 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

FYI edit

NatGertler - I don't mind at all your wording change, but I don't believe it is the case that "There is no prosecution yet." Once charges have been filed, the prosecution begins. (Prosecution is defined as "the institution and carrying on of legal proceedings against a person"; in other words, "the institution and continuance of a criminal suit..."). When a charge has been filed (typically by indictment, criminal complaint, or information), that is of course a legal proceeding being instituted against that person. See also this criminal procedure summary: "the prosecution begins with the filing of a complaint").

Not a big deal, but something I wanted to point out. Neutralitytalk 06:01, 22 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

'Fair nuff, but I think "arrest" will better convey what has happened to this point to the average reader. --Nat Gertler (talk) 13:33, 22 March 2017 (UTC)Reply
Fine with me. Thanks! --Neutralitytalk 15:20, 22 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

Small mistake edit

> A variety of Oklahoma officials from both parties called upon Fallin to resign, including Governor Mary Fallin.

They called upon *Shortey* to resign of course, not Fallin. Can't fix that because of semi-protection. — Preceding unsigned comment added by 195.37.166.248 (talk) 08:42, 22 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

Ach, good catch! Fixed. --Nat Gertler (talk) 13:33, 22 March 2017 (UTC)Reply

Multiple Years of Birth edit

This is a bit of a curious thing. In the introductory paragraph, Shortey's DOB is said to be 16 February, 1982. However, in the infobox, the much less specific dates of 1981/1982 are given. Not sure if that's on purpose, but it's a bit strange to say the least.

Borninlyoko | (talk) 04:03, 25 April 2017 (UTC)Reply

LGBT identification edit

Ann editor has repeatedly tried to put this article into an LGBT-specific category. While that is understandable given the nature of his crimes, as a matter of WO:BLP policy we do not identify a living pemrson's sexuality unless they self-identify tht sexuality. A source would need to be put forth with that self-identification before this article could be properly put into that category, and I have seen none. --Nat Gertler (talk) 14:47, 6 January 2018 (UTC)Reply

Semi-protected edit request on 25 May 2018 edit

Change "Shorty" to "Shortey" in the last paragraph of the section regarding his 2017 arrest to reflect the correct spelling of his name. 207.188.228.66 (talk) 19:38, 25 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

  Done Eggishorn (talk) (contrib) 21:16, 25 May 2018 (UTC)Reply

Improvising lead section edit

This page has a maintenance tag that the lead section is not appropriate. May I change it to this

Ralph Allan Lee Shortey (born February 16, 1982) is a former American politician. He was a member of the Republican Party elected to the Oklahoma Senate in 2010, defeating many opponents, got re-elected in 2014 and served his term until 2017. He resigned in March 2017 after being charged with three felonies relating to soliciting prostitution from a male minor.[1] In September 2017, a federal grand jury in Oklahoma City indicted Shortey on four counts where he pleaded guilty to one of the charged count. Presently, Shortey is in prison awaiting sentencing. — Preceding unsigned comment added by AlphaKGN (talkcontribs) 17:09, 12 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
The tag states that the lead doesn't adequately summarize the article and suggests that it be expanded. Your proposed edit has a few wording changes and different links, though I don't think it includes the expansion sought. —ADavidB 17:28, 12 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Oops! My bad. How about this one? I have tried to encapsulate both negative and positive points about him to maintain the WP:NPV guideline in the first paragraph while also have expanded it incorporating all major points to provide an accessible overview
Ralph Allan Lee Shortey (born February 16, 1982) is a former American politician. He was a member of the Republican Party elected to the Oklahoma Senate in 2010, defeating many opponents, got re-elected in 2014 and served his term until 2017. He advocated 'family values' during his campaigns and was known for his body structure. During his tenure, he established a Republican consulting firm.
He resigned in March 2017 after being charged with three felonies relating to soliciting prostitution from a male minor.[1] In September 2017, a federal grand jury in Oklahoma City indicted Shortey on four counts where he pleaded guilty to one of the charged count. Presently, Shortey is in prison awaiting sentencing. --AlphaKGN (talk) 20:54, 12 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Okay, being a pit picky, I'd say we don't want to give the impression that Shortey's a former American, which the proposed rewording could suggest. Of course, the bold formatting of his full name should be kept. I've not seen indication that he's no longer a Republican, so I would not put "was" before that. Instead of "many opponents", I'd suggest "several challengers", possibly also adding "in primary elections". The verb "got" is somewhat informal and can be replaced with "was" or even left out, provided a 'was' is included earlier in the sentence. There are a lot of "he" pronouns in a row, so I might start the 'family values' sentence with "Shortey" as the noun. I think "imposing" should be added before 'body structure' to explain why he was known for it. The indictment sentence seems awkward and I'd probably reword the proposed "where he pleaded..." part to ", one to which he pleaded guilty", maybe adding "with an agreement that the others would be dropped." In the final sentence, we don't need "presently" since "is" is present tense. —ADavidB 03:51, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the feedback ADavidB. I have addressed all your points and have revised the content below. Please let me go if this is good.
Ralph Allan Lee Shortey (born February 16, 1982) is an American politician. He is a member of the Republican Party elected to the Oklahoma Senate in 2010, defeating several challengers in primary elections, re-elected in 2014 and served his term until 2017. Shortey advocated 'family values' during his campaigns and was known for his imposing body structure. During his tenure, he established a Republican consulting firm.
He resigned in March 2017 after being charged with three felonies relating to soliciting prostitution from a male minor.[1] In September 2017, a federal grand jury in Oklahoma City charged Shortey on four counts, one to which he pleaded guilty with an agreement that the others would be dropped. Shortey is in prison awaiting sentencing.--AlphaKGN (talk) 19:12, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Instead of 'he' in the second paragraph first line, I will begin it with 'Shortey' — Preceding unsigned comment added by AlphaKGN (talkcontribs) 19:13, 13 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Almost. The wikilinks for "American", "politician", and "member" would probably be considered overlinking, and I'd suggest removing their link brackets. In the second sentence, I'd add ", was" after the Republican Party link (which needs to be disambiguated with [[Republican Party (United States)|Republican Party]]). With these changes, please go ahead and update the article. Thanks! —ADavidB 03:40, 15 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Along with updates following today's sentencing, I went ahead and updated the lead as discussed above. —ADavidB 20:39, 17 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
Thanks. I am happy I was able to contribute. --AlphaKGN (talk) 21:59, 17 September 2018 (UTC)Reply