Talk:Jack Clancy

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• Consider adding more links to the article; per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (links) and Wikipedia:Build the web, create links to relevant articles.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 16:34, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• This article has no or few images. Please see if there are any free use images that fall under the Wikipedia:Image use policy and fit under one of the Wikipedia:Image copyright tags that can be uploaded. To upload images on Wikipedia, go to Special:Upload; to upload non-fair use images on the Wikimedia Commons, go to commons:special:upload.^[?]
• If there is not a free use image in the top right corner of the article, please try to find and include one.^[?]
• If this article is about a person, please add {{persondata|PLEASE SEE [[WP:PDATA]]!}} along with the required parameters to the article - see Wikipedia:Persondata for more information.^[?]
• Per Wikipedia:Manual of Style (numbers), there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 301 yards, use 301 yards, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 301 yards.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 16:34, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• When writing standard abbreviations, the abbreviations should not have a 's' to demark plurality (for example, change kms to km and lbs to lb).
• Per Wikipedia:Context and Wikipedia:Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, if January 15, 2006 appeared in the article, link it as January 15, 2006.^[?]Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 16:34, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.^[?]

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 16:23, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

GA review

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

   A few prose issues

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   Had to love seeing the Ironwood newspaper listed as a source... what a dinky little town in the UP!

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   I've marked these two as 'pass' because without any pictures, you follow the policy. If you find and add pictures before the final review, I'll double check them as they are added

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

And here we go again...(haven't we been here before?)

• Lede, last sentence, I'd be more comfortable with a citation, since saying he's one of the greatest receivers is an opinion.Y reworded and linked --TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 21:27, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• College section, 1965 season. It's a one sentence paragraph and subsection. Consider combining it with the previous section, as "1964 and 1965 seasons" so it's less choppy.
  • Expanded by User:Cbl62
• Same section, 1966 season subsection. Consider wikilinking "touchdown" in the second paragraph. YOu have touchdown wikilinked later in the article, so if you wikilink here, you'll need to remove it later. Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 21:32, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• Same section and subsection, this is opinion, and doesn't have to be acted on, but the paragraphs are kinda short and choppy. Just not sure there is a better way to deal with the information. Maybe pad it up a bit if possible? This is not a detail that will hold the article back, btw.
• Same section, records subsection. Second paragraph. First sentence, might reword it to reflect a finite date instead of "is still" so that you don't have to keep reviving it. Perhaps "As of early 2008, his 197 yards..."Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 21:19, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• Same section, third paragraph, second sentence, it's unclear who the last "his" refers to.. Carter or Clancy. I suspect Carter, but would make things clearer if you switched out his with Carter.
• Same section and subsection, third sentence. Same thing with the first his, is it Clancy or Carter?
• Same section and subsection, fourth sentence, rework the first part of the sentence as it's awkward. Perhaps "Clancy is tied with Mario ..."
• Same section and subsection, last sentence. There are three "ranks" in this sentence, which is repetiative. Consider changing one or two of them.
• Same section, last paragraph, second sentence. What record?
• Same section and paragraph, Third sentence, very convoluted sentence.
• Same section and paragraph, last sentence is also very convoluted.
• Professional career section, could certainly use some expansion. And citations for the last two sentences.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 21:58, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• If the item in the External Links section is a book, it should be "Further reading" instead.
  • Actually according to Wikipedia:Guide_to_layout#Standard_appendices_and_descriptions it is suppose to be references.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 21:01, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• I'm guessing there is zilch available on what he's doing now? You knew I'd ask....
• this is probably not something you can fix, but in the infobox, is that statistics for his pro career or for his college career? Pro (standard policy for this template)--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 19:36, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
  • I added a stat table.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:CHICAGO/WP:LOTD) 20:53, 19 January 2008 (UTC)
• And while I'm asking for the impossible, pictures? If you can't find any, it won't fail the article, but if you want to go to FA, you'll need 'em.

I've reviewed the article and left notes on the talk page. I've put the nomination on hold for seven days to allow the issues to be addressed. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, here, or on the article talk page with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on.Ealdgyth | Talk 18:13, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

Nice expansion, I really like the organization of the records subsection, makes it much easier to understand. One quick thing:

• Professional career section, Dolphins subsection, the last sentence in the last paragraph needs a source citation. I suspect that you moved a sentence and it got orphaned from it's citation. (I've never done that, no .. not me!)

When that gets taken care of, I'll be happy to pass the article. Ealdgyth | Talk 19:40, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

Looks great! And it's passed. ePaperwork in progress as we speak. Ealdgyth | Talk 19:48, 20 January 2008 (UTC)

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