Talk:Hurricane Joanne (1972)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hurricane Joanne (1972)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sven Manguard (talk · contribs) 06:33, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

I will be performing a review of this nomination within the next 48 hours. Sven Manguard Wha? 06:33, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

GAN Quicksheet 1.24 SM
(Criteria)

Starting comments:

1. Well written:

a. prose/copyright: Needs work

• "Joanne originated from a tropical disturbance that first developed on September 26 about 300 miles (485 km) south of Guatemala, with ship reports and satellite imagery indicating an area of squally weather." - This sentence is unclear to me: is the "area of squally weather" Joanne or the tropical disturbance?
• "Over September 27 and 28, it moved west at a rather quick rate." - What is a "rather quick rate"? I imagine that a quick rate for a hurricane is rather different from a quick rate for a human, so some sort of reference unit would be very helpful.

• It's trival to add an exact speed if there was one. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 22:54, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

• "The initial disturbance to Joanne brought squally weather to Guatemala." - I don't understand what is being said here. What is "The initial disturbance to Joanne"
• "One person was also killed in the city." - How?

• I don't know; newspaper did not say. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}

• "The flooding caused $10 million (1972 USD) in property damage and eight deaths." The flooding from Joanne only or from Joanne and the second storm that was mentioned in the preceding sentence?

• Fixed, good call. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}

b. MoS compliance: Acceptable

2. Accurate and verifiable: Section acceptable

a. provides references: Acceptable

b. proper citation use: Acceptable

c. no original research: Acceptable

3. Broad in coverage: Section acceptable

a. covers main aspects: Acceptable

b. focused/on topic: Acceptable

4. Neutral: Section acceptable

5. Stable: Section acceptable

6. Image use: Section acceptable

a. license/tagging correct: Acceptable

b. relevant/properly captioned: Acceptable

7. Additional items not required for a GA, but requested by the reviewer:

a. images that should have alt texts have them: Needs work

• I think that the only image that can hold an alt text is the third image. Please give it an alt text.

•  Done. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 22:54, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

b. general catch all and aesthetics: Acceptable

Comments after the initial review: To be blunt, you need to spend more time copyediting. I'm used to fixing articles up as I go during reviews, but you've left a lot more work for me to do in that regard than I can ever remember having to do for an article that I considered likely to pass. I'm sorry, but it just feels rushed, and the Wikicup isn't license to rush through prose. Sven Manguard Wha? 18:10, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

See if that helps. =) Thegreatdr (talk) 18:26, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

Issues 2, 4, and 5 from above still have not been resolved. Sven Manguard Wha? 19:57, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

I'll leave those bits for the GAN submitter. Thegreatdr (talk) 20:59, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the review Seven. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 22:54, 26 April 2013 (UTC)

Two concerns still not addressed:

• You still have not addressed whether the flooding that caused $10 million was solely from Joanne, solely from the storm after Joanne, or from a combination of the two.

• Seems pretty clear to me. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 06:08, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

• If you're going to make the statement that the storm moved quickly, some sort of context is needed. It doesn't have to be "37 MPH", but something that contextualizes why it's faster than normal is needed. Alternatively, you could just remove mention of speed in that sentence.

• I don't see why there has to be context, it's from the source. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane}

• I removed it though. YE ^{Pacific Hurricane} 06:10, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

I won't be around until late tomorrow, so I'll check back in then. Sven Manguard Wha? 05:53, 27 April 2013 (UTC)

• Alright, promoted. Sven Manguard Wha?