Talk:First Crusade/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum 15:04, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

Lead

• "Because the peasants and knights were split in different armies, only the knights' army reached Jerusalem." That doesn't really make sense. Whatever the reason the peasants army failed to reach Jerusalem, it wasn't because they were split into a different army from the knights.
  • How does this sound now: "After the peasants and the knights split up in different armies, since the peasants were not as well-trained in combat as the knights were, the peasants' army failed to reach Jerusalem, and only the knights' army reached Jerusalem."? —MC10 (T•C•GB•L) 16:37, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

Recruitment

• "The motives of the nobility are somewhat clearer; greed was apparently not a major factor." Clearer, presumably, than the motivations of the peasants?

People's Crusade

• "The army led by Walter the Penniless fought with the Hungarians over food at Belgrade ...". In the previous paragraph we were told that the leader was Peter the Hermit.

• "... but Peter had little control over his followers and Byzantine troops were needed to quell their attacks". What attacks?

Princes' Crusade

• The penultimate paragraph needs to be cited.

This article is excellent. While I believe it would be improved if the issues I raised above were dealt with, they are all minor, and do not affect this article meeting the GA criteria. Malleus Fatuorum 19:31, 11 July 2010 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.