Wikipedia:WikiProject Film/Peer review/Glengarry Glen Ross (film)

Glengarry Glen Ross (film) edit

A lot of work has gone into this article to improve it in terms of content. It could definitely use some beefing up in the Plot/Synopsis section. Any help, comments, etc. would be greatly appreciated. --Count Ringworm 13:46, 2 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Disclaimer: I have not seen this film. In case that makes a difference. It could use a few more refs here and there, and not only in places that are already mark with {{fact}}. You are right to identify the Synopsis as a weak area; it would be improved to some degree just with a rewrite, but a bit of expansion would not be a bad thing. The quote "the weaselly soul of Glengarry Glen Ross-Willy Loman turned into a one-liner." is not quite clear, so either explain it or cut the quote down to the first half. I mean, who is Willy Loman and what exactly would happen if he was turned into a one-liner? Incidentally, it should not have a hyphen with no spaces, but a dash instead, like – or — with spaces. I hate seeing contractions in writing, and I found and fixed one example. I think that the lead section could be revised to remove the specifics about the profanity (which is a bit in-your face) and expand on that elsewhere. The lead is supposed to be a summary and introduction, and some of the following content could be touched upon in the lead in order to expand it a little bit. Anyway, that is all that I can think of at the moment. Adrian M. H. 15:55, 24 May 2007 (UTC)[reply]