Talk:Star Trek: Discovery season 2/GA1
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Reviewer: Zanimum (talk · contribs) 16:19, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
Just in advance of the review, Adamstom.97, let me say that I agree with the "many critics" mentioned in the lead. I was disinterested in season 1, but this was refreshing. Paragraph 2 of "Writing" really helps explain the change quite clearly. Editorial about the series aside, on to the review.
Lead
- All clear, pending me reading the rest of the article.
Episodes
- "All but one of the signals have disappeared, but it too is gone when Discovery arrives at its location." Acceptable wording, but I'm not sure if that's the best way to say that. It might be, not sure, though.
- "Cornwell secretly joins Discovery" Joins its crew? Boards? The wording is a little unclear, it makes her sound like a Power Rangers vehicle forming Megazord.
Characters
- I'm extremely impressed by the references in this section. I would've just put one reference to StarTrek.com or something like that, "here it is, all on one page." What you've done is create a wonderful reading list for future readers.
- That said, are tweets valid citations? There's no doubt that Jones and Frain played their respective roles, and those are great tweets from each, but can those two references be supplemented?
Production
- I didn't realize that aftereffects was a word. A phrase of "after effects", but indeed it's a word. Neat.
- Spock said to never mention the ship or its crew; did he also apply that to Command, or is that just my very fuzzy memory. It's probably as you have it currently.
Okay, I've got up to the heading of "Design", and have to step away for a few hours. I should be able to continue the review this evening, Eastern Time. -- Zanimum (talk) 16:19, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks for taking on the review! I have made adjustments to those two lines in the Episodes section. Not mentioning Command is kind of implied in the line about Spock, and I think the important elements about aligning the series with canon are covered with the current wording. For the tweets, both users have confirmed Twitter accounts which generally makes it a reliable source and I think both references are fine in this context. Let me know if you disagree. - adamstom97 (talk) 23:41, 11 June 2020 (UTC)
- Fair enough, re Command.
- Re social, there's definitely reliable sources, but I wasn't sure if they were Wikipedia:Reliable sources. Looking at "Self-published and questionable sources as sources on themselves", though, them saying their in the second season isn't 1.) exceptional, 2.) it makes a claim about the production, but a trivial one, 3.) is completely related to them, 4.) definitely no doubt about the veracity of the claim, 5.) minimal impact on the overall article. So yes, I guess Wikipedia has eased up on that rule. Good to know, I'm glad that Wikipedia has loosened up on this rule since I last read it. -- Zanimum (talk) 00:44, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
Production
- "Gaara Lee": It took 10 or 20 minutes of searching for interviews with Gersha Phillips, then searching through the automated YouTube transcripts, but I found one where she said the store was in San Francisco. Based on that, I was able to find the correct spelling: Gelareh Designs. They have two posts mentioning her: here and here. For lack of a third-party source that directly says where she sources the outfits from, I guess we'll have to fall back on a bit of synth: add in references to the interview above, and one or both of the Facebook posts. Not a great solution, but it's the only one we have at present.
- The StarTrek.com video you cited appeared as an extra feature on the season 2 DVD set, if I recall correctly. (I borrowed it from the local library.) I believe the DVDs had a segment about the alien teased in that article about Alchemy Studios; it might give some more conclusiveness to the teaser.
- In the Filming section, I'd include Anson Mount's first name in the first reference. It hasn't been said for the previous 2000+ words, so it's worth reintroducing his full name.
- The last sentence in that paragraph ends with "the series production was believed to be interested in working with Mount further". Would it be worthwhile to briefly mention Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (TV series)?
Okay, I'm clear through to the end of "Release", hitting save so I don't loose anything. -- Zanimum (talk) 00:37, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
Okay, I'm down to the end of critical response, where SNW is mentioned. I guess the earlier section doesn't need its own mention.
Impressive that 80-90% of the references have archive links as backup. I think that's it for comments on my side, adamstom.97. -- Zanimum (talk) 01:01, 12 June 2020 (UTC)
- I have added those sources for Gelareh, thanks for putting in the work to figure that out! I have also updated Anson Mount. For the aliens, I do not have access to the DVD and unfortunately have not been able to find any other good sources for this section. I am hoping that something will pop up at some point because the section does stand out a little with only the pre-season teaser when we have such detailed sections around it. - adamstom97 (talk) 01:51, 12 June 2020 (UTC)