Talk:Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cognissonance (talk · contribs) 04:54, 22 October 2016 (UTC)

We meet again, Mr Bond. Cognissonance (talk) 04:54, 22 October 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• Mention what was well received (visuals, subjects such as declining trust in the legal system, 3D characters felt more "alive and charming" than the 2D characters in previous Ace Attorney games) and what was criticized (reuse of the same story structure, instances of "debatable" logic).

•  Done, but tried to do a more general summary of reviewer opinions and not include aspects only a single reviewer mentioned.

Plot

• "who prosecutes despite serving a murder sentence himself" — Correction: "who was the prosecutor despite having served a murder sentence himself".

• Well, Blackquill is serving his sentence while prosecuting. He is brought to every trial in shackles. If there's a better way of saying that, I'm fine with rewording it.

It's fine, I just needed that clarified. Never did play the game. Cognissonance (talk) 22:43, 22 October 2016 (UTC)

Development

• "The game was developed using" — Minimize repetition: "It was developed using".

•  Done

• "ensuring that the development staff is all on the same page" — Past tense consistency: "ensuring that the development staff was all on the same page".

•  Done

Writing

• "The development team had problems with figuring out how" — Improve prose: "The development team encountered problems while figuring out how".

•  Done

• "which is how the bombing in the first episode and how the second episode's murderer appears to be a mythical creature" — Fix grammar: "which resulted in the bombing in the first episode and how the second episode's murderer appears to be a mythical creature".

•  Done

• "with the intention that the player would think they are talking about" — Minimize repetition and improve flow: "The intention was that the player would think they were talking about".

•  Done

Cutscenes

• "how movements will be done" — Past tense consistency: "how movements would be done".

•  Done

Localization

• "they had to consider whether it would be something that character would say, not just whether it is funny" — Improve flow: "they had to consider whether it would be something that the character would say, and not simply that it was funny".

•  Done

Characterization and naming

• "portraying him as a cursing delinquent due to how his high intelligence, and his Victorian-era clothes, due to their different cultural connotations in the West compared to in Japan" — Improve flow: "portraying him as a cursing delinquent due to his high intelligence, and his Victorian-era clothes, due to their different cultural connotations in the West compared to Japan".

•  Done

Visual changes and dubbing

• "the localization team had to take into account that the animation had been done to the Japanese lines, so they had to make sure" — Minimize repetition: "the localization team took into account that the animation had been done to the Japanese lines, so they made sure".

•  Done

• "Because the Japanese voice acting had not yet been recorded when Hsu worked on the English dub script, she had to use her" — Minimize repetition: "Because the Japanese voice acting was not yet recorded when Hsu worked on the English dub script, she used her".

•  Done

• "from watching a lot of anime" can be made more formal with "from frequently watching anime".

•  Done

• "Hsu had him following the line" — Improve prose: "Hsu had him follow the line".

•  Done

Overall

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall: This is a great article with a few issues. I would have done the edits myself with an immediate pass, given that the list is so meagre, but I need some rest.

   Pass/Fail:

   @IDV: Cognissonance (talk) 21:36, 22 October 2016 (UTC)

   @Cognissonance: Thanks for another helpful review! The backlog was getting quite long, so I'm really glad that you decided to take care of some of it. I believe I have fixed all the points you raised, an exception being the one under the plot heading, for which it's possible I'll need more feedback.--IDV^talk 22:38, 22 October 2016 (UTC)

8. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   Pass/Fail:

   @IDV: That's the idea, and the backlog will shrink dramatically when the other reviewers hurry the hell up. Cognissonance (talk) 23:03, 22 October 2016 (UTC)