Talk:H (Ayumi Hamasaki EP)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Prosperosity (talk · contribs) 05:17, 25 March 2015 (UTC)

• The digital release dates are inaccurate, as the iTunes Store was only made available in the US on April 28, 2003! They're all pointing to the historical CD release date. These should be removed and replaced with sources that accurately reflect the digital release dates.
• The charts section doesn't have any citations. Both these and the sales need to have citations or else they should be removed.
• "It eventually debuted at number one on the Weekly Singles Chart with more than 400,000 sales, which eventually became her biggest sales that year.[51]" information not in source.
• WP:CAPS for "HANABI", "CREA" (unless its an acronym), and titles featuring articles/prepositions/conjunctions ("Feel The Love" --> "Feel the Love"). Several professions in the credits sections are overcapitalised as well ("Design" --> "design")
• In the critical reception section you reference "a reviewer from Yahoo! Music", even though this is a review from their 各社レビュー section (the reviewer is Tetsuo Hiraga of Hot Express)
• H is not a song title, so it should be consistently stylised as H, not "H".
• The article needs to be spell-checked again, I think! At a cursory glance I've seen "as an limited edition" and "at the Japan Gold Disc Awards in 2003, "H"...where awarded Songs of the Year."
• There are tildes in the article, even though WP:MJ style guides ask for these to become colons for album/film/concert titles (Ayumi Hamasaki 15th Anniversary Tour: Best Live Tour) and brackets for songs ("Hanabi (Episode II)")
• In the reviews I notice someone's wordpress blog was used. This goes against WP:SPS and can't be used as a veritable source, unless the author is an otherwise published music reviewer.
• For the CDJournal review, you quote some of the text written in the ガイドコメント section, but this is actually just information supplied by record labels and not a review. The review part of that page is the text written in the ミニ・レビュー box.
• Some of the references are badly formatted, such as <ref name="info">Liner notes of ''Rainbow'' by Ayumi Hamasaki. Dec 2002.</ref>. These should use the citation templates such as cite web and cite AV media notes. A lot of sources are missing titles; these should be added in the "| script-title=ja:" field and a translation of each given.

Hi there, thank you for reviewing the H article for the good article nomination. I am currently looking through the review since it was put on hold for seven days and will get to work on fixing the article. However, I noted three bullet points that you had reviewed and I am a bit more curious about them;

1. "There are tildes in the article, even though WP:MJ style guides ask for these to become colons for album/film/concert titles (Ayumi Hamasaki 15th Anniversary Tour: Best Live Tour) and brackets for songs ("Hanabi (Episode II)")"

Sorry to say but I cannot understand this phrase. Are you suggesting me to use the (~) tildes or to use the colons in the songs/albums/concert films that are provided?

Here's the exact bit: Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Japan-related articles#Subtitles. A couple of years back it was argued that ~'s don't make up standard titles in English, so they should be discouraged for titles here.

1. "For the CDJournal review, you quote some of the text written in the ガイドコメント section, but this is actually just information supplied by record labels and not a review. The review part of that page is the text written in the ミニ・レビュー box."

Sorry for my Japanese, it's pretty bad! But I searched up the translation and now I understand it so I will remove sections that are unnecessary. However, when it comes to the track list in the site, am I able to mention the parts of where CDJournal have individually commented on the song or is that part of the information by the record label?

The individual song comments and the ミニ・レビュー sections are both fine!

1. "In the critical reception section you reference "a reviewer from Yahoo! Music", even though this is a review from their 各社レビュー section (the reviewer is Tetsuo Hiraga of Hot Express)"

If this is provided by the company (各社レビュー), would I comment "Tetsuo Hiraga from Hot Express" instead of "a reviewer from Yahoo! Music"?

Yup! Yahoo! just archived the review. Hiraga was a writer for Hot Express, not Yahoo!

Thank you for your time GirlsAlouud (talk · contribs} 03:20, 29 March 2015 (UTC)

I'll have more time in the next few days, so I'll make a more thorough review soonish, if that's okay! --Prosperosity (talk) 04:08, 29 March 2015 (UTC)

Secondary comments

• WP:CAPS means we should remove most instances of stylised caps! So "Hanabi" and Crea.
• Check some of the language again. "Likened" means to compare something, I think you mean favoured. There also shouldn't be any contractions like "didn't", since an encyclopedia is a formal piece of writing. --Prosperosity (talk) 01:53, 3 April 2015 (UTC)

Comments from an outsider

• The usage of off vs. of should be corrected. Example: Lyrically, the song talks about the theme and importance of.
• Some of the information given are unsourced, like the thing about the remixes and instrumentals. Ryoga (talk) 06:25, 25 March 2015 (UTC)

Update

Hi Prosperosity. I have reviewed over the remarks that you have left on the GA nomination page regarding the H EP, and I can honestly say that I have done as much as instructed through the posts you have said.

• Inaccurate release dates - These have been removed and only modified with the physical releases.
• Chart citations - I have removed the daily and monthly chart as their is not significant proof of its chart history.
• WP:CAPS - Sorry for the misconception, I thought it meant I had to add caps to the required titles. This has been adjusted with titles including "Crea" and "Hanabi". Also, the changing of "Feel the Love" has also been changed.
• [H] titling - Has been corrected.
• Critical reception - The conflicting of Tetsuo Hiraga from Hot Express and Yahoo! Music has been altered and put in the archive template and normal URL template in the references. Also, the CDJournal comment has been removed.
• Tidles - All tiding has been removed.
• Wordpress blog - The word press has been removed.
• Reference templates - All reference formats in the article have been put in an {{cite web and {{cite AV media template.
• Unsourced information - All unsourced information has been removed.

• Spell check - I have tried my best in checking through the article for spelling errors and have currently found none, but I could be wrong.
• Language - Some of the words that you pointed out has been replaced. Have checked through article.
• Use of of vs. off - With personal struggles of the difference, I have replaced the words with different words/sentences an phrases. I have, however, used the word off in a more appropriate manner.

I hope this helps with the review. Thank you. FaliforniaDreamsFan (talk) 01:55, 5 April 2015 (UTC)

You haven't quite done all the references! I'll make a list of all of the ones that haven't been done yet so you can quickly find them.

• "A Song for XX". Beatfreak (in Japanese) 132. January 1999.

ref name="SinChew"

Recording Industry Association of Japan | Related Data (this one doesn't point to the information directly either)

Traveling - Hikaru Utada. Oricon.co.jp.

I also did a quick grammar review of the article for you, looking at some minor issues. --Prosperosity (talk) 04:55, 5 April 2015 (UTC)

• - Done. HOWEVER! The source regarding Recording Industry Association of Japan | Related Data may have been an error regarding the riaj publication. According to the 2003 archive, they have registered "Free & Easy", "Voyage" and "A" as Song of the Year, but A was not released in 2003, so they may gave muddled the song title with H instead. I have added that in the article though if that is alright? GirlsAlouud (talk · contribs} 07:07, 5 April 2015 (UTC)

Just use this one! It has H listed. --Prosperosity (talk) 09:21, 5 April 2015 (UTC)

Okay, I've gone through the GA check-list, and the only issue left is 'Hcover.png'. It needs to be re-uploaded smaller (around 280px, maybe as a .jpg), as 500 is way too big! Plus it should have a caption in the box stating which version it is (e.g. Standard edition cover), since the article goes into detail saying that there are five covers. --Prosperosity (talk) 11:14, 5 April 2015 (UTC)

• - 'Done. The [File:Hcover.png] HAS been re-uploaded with a 260px pixel but the infobox still enlargens the file once you click on it. Again, I HAVE re-uploaded the filer.

Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Good job! --Prosperosity (talk) 22:48, 5 April 2015 (UTC)