Talk:2009 NCAA Division I men's lacrosse tournament/GA1

GA Review edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Overall the article is quite good, however I found a couple issues:

  • "Seven of the teams that advanced also account for every past NCAA tournament championship. Duke is the only one to have never won a national title.[16]" The first sentence is confusing, not sure what you mean. Plus the two sentences should be combined so the article flows better.
  • Yeah, that was a hard concept to try to make clear, especially since the previous sentence was talking about a different set of seven teams... I rephrased to "Every past NCAA tournament had been won by seven of the eight teams that advanced to the quarterfinals, with Duke being the only one to have never won a national title.[16]" That makes it passive voice, but I think it is a little more clear. Let me know if that makes more sense. Strikehold (talk) 02:01, 9 August 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • "In the first quarter, the Blue Devils jumped out to an early lead and killed off a two-man-down penalty," not sure if that's jargon or not, but doesn't really sound right.
  • I assume you mean "kill off"? That's common usage for surviving an opposing team's extra-man offense, but you're right it is probably too jargon-y. I changed to "survive". Let me know if that was to what you were referring. Strikehold (talk) 02:01, 9 August 2009 (UTC)Reply
  • The Championship section dives right into the game summary without noting a date, attendance, etc. I know it's in the lead, but putting it in there too would be nice.
  • Good point, I added a sentence to make the segue. Strikehold (talk) 02:01, 9 August 2009 (UTC)Reply

Not too much to fix. I'll put it on hold and pass it on completion. Wizardman 01:23, 9 August 2009 (UTC)Reply

Looks good now so I'll pass it. I think what confused me about the first point was it's awfully weird how only 7 teams have won the title. Granted, not as many college have lacrosse teams, but still. Wizardman 02:57, 9 August 2009 (UTC)Reply
Yeah, lacrosse has historically been dominated by a handful of powerhouses, and the NCAA tournament only started in 1971. Anyway, thanks for the review. Strikehold (talk) 03:04, 9 August 2009 (UTC)Reply