Talk:Pneumonia/GA1
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Sahara4u in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Sahara4u (talk · contribs) 07:57, 11 November 2012 (UTC)
Lede edit
- century as "the captain of the men of death", the advent of antibiotic…. The quote should be referenced. You may link here
- Link chronically ill
- Ref# 5 doesn’t cite the text.
Bacteria edit
- "Bacteria are the most common cause of community acquired pneumonia,…."→ community-acquired pneumonia….. and also link it
Viruses edit
- Commonly implicated agents include: rhinoviruses,[13] coronaviruses,[13] influenza virus,[22] respiratory syncytial virus (RSV),[22] adenovirus,[22] and parainfluenza.[22]---- Both ref should appear 1 time at the end of the sentence.
- sub groups →subgroups
Funji edit
- "……. with weakened immune systems due to AIDS, immunosuppressive drugs, or other medical problems. The pathophysiology of pneumonia caused by fungi is similar to that of bacterial pneumonia." →This may need a reference.
Parasites edit
- "A variety of parasites can affect the lungs, including: Toxoplasma gondii, Strongyloides stercoralis, Ascariasis, and malaria." → For consistency use either causing agent name (Ascaris lumbricoides, Plasmodium malariae) or disease (Toxoplasmosis, Strongyloidiasis)
- Same for "…..particularly Ascariasis and Strongyloides,……." Check it, there may be others…
Pathophysiology edit
- "Some viral infections such as measles and herpes simplex may reach the lungs via the blood." …….may be "Measles and Herpetic infections may reach the lungs via the blood."
Diagnosis edit
- This should be in sequence (investigations, physical exam, imaging and other lab test)
- "- including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests -" ….. hyphens (-) should be mdashes (—) per WP:MDASH without space or spaced ndash
- Fixed Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:16, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Still not done. It should be like this "and blood tests – including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests – are recommended." Zia Khan 19:15, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Not sure what you mean. Like this? Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 19:54, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Still not done. It should be like this "and blood tests – including a complete blood count, serum electrolytes, C-reactive protein and possibly liver function tests – are recommended." Zia Khan 19:15, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Fixed Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:16, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
Prevention edit
- "preventative measures [47], as…." ref should come after the period.
Management edit
- Pneumonia in chronically ill patients? You may add a little
Prognosis edit
- "…..will stabalize in 3-6 days." → stabilize and ndash instead of hyphen
- "other lung problems recover may take more than 12 week." → recovery
- "..... any underlying diseases, and age[70] – online calculator" .... make a note the online calculator
- "….. are S. pneumoniae, H. influencae and K.pneumoniae……" Since you have not abbreviated them earlier use both Genus and Species.
- Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Do you really need calculators in the article? I think they should be at the end of the article. Zia Khan 19:03, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Done Doc James (talk · contribs · email) (if I write on your page reply on mine) 05:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
Epidemiology edit
- "I n 2008 pneumonia occurred in approximately 156 million children…." Comma after 2008
Images edit
- All the images need alt text, except the lead image.
See also edit
- A link to Bronchopneumonia
Notes and references edit
- Notes --> References
- References --> "Bibliography" making a new section
- You may add more categories.
Overall, the article is fine, well-referenced (except a couple of phrases) and covers the topic significantly. I’ll take a look again once the above concerns addressed. Zia Khan 07:57, 11 November 2012 (UTC)
Further Comments edit
- “in 3—6 days.[71]” ---> 3–6
- “follow up is needed,” ---> follow-up
- ….advent of antibiotic therapy and vaccines in the 20th century have seen ---> advents or has instead of have
- …… light of their being no greater clinical benefit.[20][63] there?
- “An X-ray showing a white wedge in the right lung field of a chest X-ray.” ---> An X-ray: showing a white wedge in the right lung field of a chest.
- ……A pleural effusion as seen on chest x-ray. The A arrow…….. --->A pleural effusion: as seen on chest x-ray. The arrow A indicates fluid layering in the right chest. The arrow B indicates the width of the right lung. The volume of the lung is reduced because of the collection of fluid around the lung.
- Age-standardized death from lower respiratory tract infections per 100,000 inhabitants in 2004.
- ….., which had approached 30%, dropped precipitously in the developed world. --->…, had approached 30%, dropped precipitously in the developed world.
- “A diagram of the human body outlining the keysymptoms of pneumonia” ---> key-symptoms
- X ray ---> X-ray (in the alt text)
Some of the above concerns still are not addressed. I'll take another look before passing/failing this. Zia Khan 19:38, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
Final review edit
- GA review (see Wikipedia:Good article criteria and WP:GACN)
- Well written.
- a (clear and concise prose which doesn't violate copyright laws, grammar and spelling are correct):
b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, and fiction:
- a (clear and concise prose which doesn't violate copyright laws, grammar and spelling are correct):
- Factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (well-referenced): b (citations to reliable sources): c (Wikipedia:No original research):
- a (well-referenced):
- Broad in its coverage.
- a (covers major aspects): b (well-focused):
- a (covers major aspects):
- Neutral .
- Fair representation, no bias:
- Fair representation, no bias:
- Stable.
- No edit wars nor disputed contents:
- No edit wars nor disputed contents:
- Illustrated appropriately by images.
- a b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a
- Result:No more issues, I guess. Good work, keep it up! Zia Khan 19:47, 25 November 2012 (UTC)
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
