Talk:Hormizd II

Lede

@HistoryofIran: I think the lede is kinda short; it should incorporate some more material from the body of the article (i.e. a short summary). - LouisAragon (talk) 16:56, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

Yeah I kinda slacked a bit on that part, will def expand it soon, thanks! --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:49, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hormizd II/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Royroydeb (talk · contribs) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

 Doing... RRD (talk) 16:05, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

1. Well written:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (prose)	Comments have been added	Pass
(b) (MoS)	*"most likely did not take part" - most likely is someone's opinion. It should be "According to Shahbazi, Hormizd..." *" It is said that Shapur" - who said?	Pass

• The first sentence of lead needs to be rewritten. "the eighth king (shah) of the Sasanian Empire" must be changed to "Shah of the Sasanian Empire". Shah is primarily a title. Putting "the" before it reduces it to a post (ex. the president of India).
• It would be better if you could copy the first sentence from Henry III of England and make the necessary changes.
• "He was the son...." - It should be "He was a son of and the successor of.." . This change must be done if Narseh had more than one child.
• The first sentence of second paragraph again needs to be rewritten / divided into two sentences.
• The heading of the "Name" section should be "Etymology". The sole sentence of this paragraph needs to be rewritten.
• "this may be his queen " - "this may be his wife".
• "which forced him to surrender " - "forcing him to surrender".
• "assuming a crown resembling the crown" - makes no sense.
• "last years of his reign" - he reigned for two years only. What does "last years" signify here?
• In succession section, the first "he" must be replaced by Hormizd.

2. Verifiable with no original research:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (references)	Have a look at MOS:NOTES. The offspring section is completely unsourced. Al-Tabari is primary source.	Pass
(b) (citations to reliable sources)	Pass	Pass
(c) (original research)	None	Pass
(d) (copyvio and plagiarism)	Will check	Pass

3. Broad in its coverage:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (major aspects)	Comments have been added.	Pass
(b) (focused)	Pass	Pass

• The name section must be expanded.
• "started out as a cruel ruler but then became benevolent" -Explain.
• The internal turmoil must be expanded.

4. Neutrality:

Notes	Result
" avenge the humiliating defeat" - humiliating must be removed	Pass

5. Stability:

Notes	Result
Stable	Pass

6. Illustrated:

Criteria	Notes	Result
(a) (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales)	Pass	Pass
(b) (appropriate use with suitable captions)	To prevent MOS:SANDWICH, the first image must be placed at right	Pass

17:35, 9 April 2019 (UTC)

@Royroydeb: Think I've done most of what you asked. As for the internal turmoil part - it's very obscure, there isn't really anything else to write about it, since the only source we have is a rock relief by Hormizd II. Also, the cruel/benevolent ruler part is explained in the quote by al-Tabari. Btw, Hormizd ruled for 7 years. What do you think? --HistoryofIran (talk) 21:11, 9 April 2019 (UTC)

@HistoryofIran: I have added more comments. Please have a look. RRD (talk) 16:52, 11 April 2019 (UTC)

@Royroydeb: What specific part(s) do you want me to add citations to in the offspring section? Also, I disagree on the "most likely" (or "probably" for that matter) part, as I've seen various GA/FA articles doing that without having to mention the certain author stating that. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:37, 11 April 2019 (UTC)

@HistoryofIran: All the offsprings must be cited. RRD (talk) 11:50, 14 April 2019 (UTC)

@Royroydeb: Done, anything else? --HistoryofIran (talk) 12:03, 14 April 2019 (UTC)

@HistoryofIran: I will recheck soon. RRD (talk) 08:24, 16 April 2019 (UTC)