Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Axis naval activity in Australian waters

Axis naval activity in Australian waters edit

Grant65 and I have been working on this page regularly since January and I think that it has the potential to reach featured article status. I would appreciate any comments on the article. Comments on whether too much or too little space has been dedicated to the various incidents would be particularly useful to developing the article. --Nick Dowling 08:32, 26 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Kirill Lokshin edit

Quite nice; some general remarks:

The lead should be lengthened to two or three full paragraphs.
There are a number of very short sections scattered throughout the article. In general, it's not necessary to have a distinct section for every incident; merging them together into continuous blocks of prose is likely to improve the article.
What are the works in the "Bibliography" section? If they're actually sources for the article, they need to be in a section named "References" (with the current "References" either left in place or renamed to "Notes").
The "See also" section should be ruthlessly trimmed, with terms linked in the text instead.

I would also suggest asking Cla68 to help with reviewing the article, as he's very knowledgeable in the various aspects of WWII warfare in the Pacific. Kirill Lokshin 22:57, 26 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]

cla68 edit

The first sentence of the second paragraph in the intro is present tense while the rest is past tense.
Use ``U.S.`` instead of ``American`` because ``American`` can technically mean any place in North or South America.
Perhaps change section title to ``Overview of Australian defenses``
Every paragraph should have at least one inline citation to avoid any FA reviewers complaining that it's ``under-referenced.``
Explain what ``picket duties`` are.
``Bombardment of Port Gregory``: There will eventually be an article for Operation Ke, the Japanese evacuation of Guadalcanal, if you would like to link to it now or in the future.
There's a link problem in the ``Japanese invasion`` section.
Where were the German submarines sunk?
Last sentence in U-862 section is rather subjective and not cited.
Needs a ``graceful ending`` such as a summary of the impact, or lack thereof, of Axis naval activity around Australia. From what I understand, Australia was the main Allied base supporting the South West Pacific and Solomon Islands campaigns, so, Japan's inability or unwillingness to interdict Allied supply lines from Australia had major strategic impact. Perhaps it would be a good idea to tie the article to the ``Big Picture,`` i.e. the Pacific War with an assessment of how Axis naval operations, or lack thereof, around Australia impacted the ultimate outcome of WWII in the Pacific.

No problems with the content, a very informative and enjoyable article to read. Cla68 02:25, 27 August 2006 (UTC)[reply]