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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Eileen Collins

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Ian Rose (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 11:20, 20 November 2022 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Eileen Collins edit

Instructions for nominators and reviewers

Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Eileen Collins (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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Although I already have two articles up for A class review, as a military person I thought it best to bring it here before sending to FAC. It is part of a series on women astronauts. It is part of a series about women astronauts. Collins was first woman to pilot the Space Shuttle and the first to command a Space Shuttle mission. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:35, 19 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Support from CPA edit

Just a comment here.

  • Per MOS:DATETIES "articles on the modern US military, including biographical articles related to the modern US military, should use day-before-month, in accordance with US military usage." so this article should use DD/MM/YYYY. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 13:12, 14 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    checkY Done. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:30, 14 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Great I'll take a look into when Hog's comments are adressed. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 18:13, 18 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

CPA-5 - Looks like it's your turn now. Hog Farm Talk 03:51, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Will do this in the weekend. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 20:21, 20 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the 82nd Airborne Division from Pope Air Force Base in North Carolina to Grenada" Link Grenada.
    We don't link the names of present-day countries. (MOS:OVERLINK) Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:54, 26 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    I don't think people know much about the country Grenada. Especially if states like California and Texas the biggest states are linked but a small island Grenada not. Also can you unlink NASA? Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:07, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 1989, Collins became the second woman pilot to attend the USAF Test Pilot School" Rephrase it something like "In that same year Collins became the second woman pilot to attend the USAF Test Pilot School"?
    checkY Changed as suggested. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:54, 26 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • It looks like the lead doesn't have the Later life and the Awards and honors sections?
    They are rather short, and the awards are not significant enough to contribute to her notability. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:54, 26 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    • You can still add something like when she retired and what rank she at that moment.
      checkY Sure. Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Going down to the body. Sorry that it took that long I was a bit busy for school. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:42, 26 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Her parents were James Edward and Rose Marie Collins" Was James also a Collins? If so what is the néé of Rose?
    checkY Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "St. Patrick's School in Elmira up to the eighth grade" Eighth grade is pretty vague for most non-Americans.
    checkY Added a link. In Australia it is called "Year 8" (although when I was at school it was called "II Form". Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "and to European destinations in support of the annual Reforger exercises" European destinations like?
    checkY Added a bit more. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "than the ten year maximum allowed before" --> "than the ten-year maximum allowed before"?
    checkY Uh, okay. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "an approach to no less than 10 meters of Mir" How many feet is this?
    checkY About 11x in the old measurements. Added. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "one hundred hours of Russian language classroom training" Unlink the Russian language.
    checkY Unlinked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "docked with Mir without incident on May 16" Wrong date here.
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Atlantis returned to KSC on May 24" Same as above.
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Roosevelt Room of the White House on 5 March 1998" Unlink White House here.
    checkY Unlinked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Columbia lifted off at last on July 23" Wrong date.
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "pushed the launch date back to July 13" Same as above.
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 19:07, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I think I have everything. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 20:12, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good changed it to support. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 17:03, 7 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

HF - support edit

Will review. Ping me if I haven't gotten to this by Wednesday. Hog Farm Talk 23:43, 16 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • "who had to run 12 furlongs (2.4 km) in less than 12 minutes." - is it worth giving the conversion in miles, as well? I can't think of the last time I saw furlongs used as a measurement before this
    checkY No need; the metric conversion is already there. People familiar with the old measurements will know that a furlong is an eighth of a mile. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • " She was then she stayed on at Vance as a T-38 Talon instructor pilot" - something has gone wrong here
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "transport aircraft that had been her 21st choice" - they had her rank her choices that far out?
    Apparently you are allow to specify more choices on the back of the form. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "than the ten year maximum for entered the USAF Test Pilot School" - something has gone wrong here as well
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • her" "Pilot! Yes, pilot. You will be the first woman to pilot the Space Shuttle!" - you've got an extra quotation mark in there
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think something should be stated to indicate how she got from an ASP to actually piloting the craft
    checkY Just selected. All pilot astronauts are eligible for a flight. ASP and CAPCOM are just other roles they do in between flights. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Eventually all its contents leaked into space it was safe to approach Mir" - missing a word?
    checkY Added conjunction. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Did she have any particular roles between the end of STS-114 and her NASA retirement?
    Just the usual post-flight publicity toor. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Britannica page". Archived from the original on 14 May 2013. Retrieved 17 January 2007." - wrong reference title
    checkY Changed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 03:40, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I think that's it from me. Hog Farm Talk 02:36, 19 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Zawed - Support edit

This is in excellent order, minor nitpicks only:

Early life

  • but her father was adamantly opposed.: Any indication why? Was it because she was female or was he anti-the USAF or a role in the military?
    Source doesn't say. "I told him I wanted to join the Air Force. He was livid. The vehemence of his reaction surprised me. 'You are not joining the Air Force!' He objected so emphatically that I dared not argue with him." (p. 19) Probably just wanted her to go to college.
  • on the history of USAF: "the USAF"?
    checkY Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:11, 22 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Astronaut career

  • 30 June 1989, deadline: a surplus comma there.
    checkY Deleted. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 18:35, 5 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Awards and honors

  • The lead says Collins was awarded the Harmon Trophy for being the first female pilot of the Space Shuttle but in this section, it is just listed without mention of why it was awarded.
    checkY Deleted this from the lead. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:11, 22 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]
  • Dupe links: Syracuse University, Webster University (in Later life, Awards and honors sections respectively)
    checkY Unlinked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 11:11, 22 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

That's all I can pick up at this stage. Zawed (talk) 10:20, 22 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Have added my support. Zawed (talk) 08:43, 27 October 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Image review - pass edit

Reviewing in response to a request from Hawkeye.

Source check edit

  • Move the bibliography after the notes section
  • WP:LAYOUT has the lists of works before the Notes and References. (MOS:BIB) Changed to "Publications" Hawkeye7 (discuss) 00:21, 20 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
    • That's better.
  • Do you mean for the references section to be the further references section, since neither book seems to be used?
    Both are used; the former by fn 82, 83, 88, 89, 90 and 91; the latter by fn 35
    • OK, I missed those.
  • Cites and books properly formatted.
  • All sources are RS.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:41, 19 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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